Loss #5, Hospital Bills, and IVF

Our Story- Baby Loss #5, Hospital Bills, and Future IVF Writing this out and sharing our story in detail is very hard for me. Yet I have felt it building in my heart for months now. Then Saturday's loss happened and I feel even more strongly that it’s time to get it out, to share, and hopefully in the process continue to heal. Not only heal but in all truth, we could use some serious monetary help, something we aren't good at asking for. This, however, is too important for us not to at least ask.

But first, let me share with you our story… Please click here to read the full story...

*Warning by clicking on the link above you will get the full story that contains graphic, and sensitive subject matter about miscarriage. I am not sugar coating the story this time so please be prepared.

Here is the condensed version of our story...

Ryan and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage in August 2018. We began trying for a family at the end of 2012. It took a year and a half for me to get pregnant. Unfortunately, that one ended up being an extremely painful ectopic pregnancy. Over the next 2 years, we lost two more pregnancies at around the 6-week mark.

Then in March of 2017, I got pregnant for the 4th time. Everything was going okay until the middle of week 15 when I began to spot and cramp. Still, the doctor thought everything including baby looked good and sent us off to enjoy our weekend camping trip. The first night of our trip, I went into labor and lost the baby in the middle of a gross campground bathroom. We held our baby with all it's little fingers and toes in the palm of our hands that night...

After an hour and a half drive to the nearest ER, then a transfer to the hospital, and a full D&C, we left the hospital completely devastated and traumatized.

After this loss, we were sent to a specialist in Seattle where they did every test under the sun and came up with a few things... My uterus is odd shaped but not significant enough to need surgery, I have a low egg count meaning I am running out of time to have babies, and third, I have a furry uterus. A what??? Yep, my uterus was covered with benign polyps that have been growing, most likely, since childhood.

So after having a simple procedure to have them removed, we were sent off to quickly get back to trying. February 6th I found I was pregnant for the 5th time. We were scared but hopeful that this was going to be it. I had the procedure and I had 3 pregnancies since the ectopic... So we thought for sure we would be good to go from here.

Then on Saturday the 18th, on my way to across the Kingston Edmonds Ferry, I began to get very sick. At first, I didn't think it had to do anything with the baby because the symptoms presented themselves as more like a bug or flu... however as we got to the Edmonds side I began to get worse and almost passed out several times. My mother in law and grandma quickly took me to the closest emergency room. After discovering a very very low blood pressure and having the test come back negative for the flu, the doctor felt it was very important to transfer to the Emergency Room next door. So off we went.

After hours of tests, ultrasounds, and a lot of pain, (during which Ryan was able to meet us there with his dad), we got the news... baby wasn't in my uterus, but my HCG levels definitely confirmed pregnancy, so where was baby?, and I was leaking out a lot of blood into my body where it definitely shouldn't be. I was whisked off for emergency surgery where they did a laparoscopy and found baby had been in my left tube this time, it had burst and I had bled out 2 liters of blood!

They removed the blood, took out my fallopian tube (thankfully saved my ovary) and gave me a blood transfusion. This had by far been my most dangerous miscarriage. After staying overnight to be monitored we left early the next morning with a "Now What?"

The doctor had been clear that it is very rare to have two ectopic pregnancies in two separate tubes and it was obvious my body was having difficulty getting pregnant the way it should. He suggested looking at other alternatives because it is not safe for us to keep trying to conceive naturally. Here is where we're at now. We need help with two things...

First, the number of doctors/medical bills from this event are going to be ASTRONOMICAL. Unfortunately we weren't able to afford our health premiums and got caught without insurance. On top of that, business has been slow the last 6 months and we don't have enough over and beyond our job paychecks to cover these expenses. The bills from the Urgent Care, ER, surgery, and overnight stay we expect to be at least $10,000.

On top of that we're still making payments on medical bills from our loss and hospital trip in June of last year as well.

Second, we don't want to give up on our dreams of being parents. In the past, the doctor had talked to us about the possibility of doing IVF. This is where they pull my eggs, check the viability of those eggs, match them up with Ryan’s sperm, and then implant them in my uterus. This would ensure baby would be where he or she should be. This is what we would like to pursue. But unfortunately, insurance doesn't cover this and a SINGLE treatment alone costs around $10,000.

So here we are, stepping out of our comfort zones and asking for help from those who are able. I've watched many other people use GoFundMe with great success. I've watched $10 here and $2o there add up to help people with their needs and change peoples lives.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story. Thank you for sharing in this life and struggles with us. Thank you for being there to support us in whatever capacity you are able. We appreciate each and every one of you. If you aren't able to help financially that's completely okay. We'd appreciate any thoughts and prayers for continued healing both physically and emotionally and that our dreams of becoming parents will come true and the IVF will be successful. Thank you again so very much. We love you guys!

PS. Please feel free to share this! And if you or someone you know has experienced loss please feel free to reach out. We would love to connect, hear your story, share in your burdens, and to encourage you that you are not alone.

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  • Allison Harper 
    • $100 
    • 26 mos
  • Kehly Harper 
    • $100 
    • 26 mos
  • Jeremy & Katie Jelley 
    • $200 
    • 26 mos
  • Anonymous 
    • $800 
    • 27 mos
  • Anonymous 
    • $100 
    • 27 mos
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Organizer

Jesse Marie Jelley 
Organizer
Silverdale, WA
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