Lippert Family

Hello everyone. For anyone that doesn’t know me I am Vanna's best friend, Kaylyn. A lot of people are reaching out asking how they can help at this time so I wanted to put something together for the family.

Here is the back story on how baby Emerik came to us.

The Lippert’s fertility story;

1 year of trying to conceive naturally.

4 rounds of failed IUI.

Then we were onto IVF.

Stims for egg retrieval and then 1 round of IVF

4 eggs were frozen (one of them being Emerik)

So there are 3 frozen embryos left. With no guarantee of successful transfer. Which means Stims again and egg retrieval again if all 3 fail to transfer. Each transfer alone costs about $4000 and that doesn’t include surrogacy costs. They will be speaking to her OBGYN once back in Reno about the risks and when and IF she could carry again and what they would do to make sure it was safe for her to carry, if it’s even an option. If not then surrogacy would be the next option or adoption. All very costly.

As for Baby Emerik. We will be having a celebration of life in Reno, Germany and Michigan. More information will be out on those days soon as we are able to plan those. There has already been approximately $1200 spent on memorialized items of Emerik. There will also be a process to take some of his remains to Germany as traveling with anything internationally has its difficulties.

Continuing to grow their family will also come at high costs with so many unknowns. Possibilities of more IVF, Adoption or Surrogacy, shipping embryos internationally. Etc. At this time they don’t know where they will even be staying for Jan’s next work contract as this stateside Reno one has just expired and Austin was primarily on the table around this pregnancy and Emerik.

This is a way for us to help, take some of the stress off of them to be able to hold Emeriks celebrations of life and memorialize him how they feel is best. Allowing them and those that love them and followed Em’s story to grieve together. Along with assisting in them being able to grow their family again in the near future.

We will keep everyone up to date and posted on plans and their story as Vanna has always been transparent on all aspects in hopes to advocate and normalize unexplained infertility, adoption, IUI, IVF and everything in between.

Thank you for reading their story and helping to ease this horrible time for them. The support system our family has is unmatched. You are all amazing and we love you!

Emerik Update from Vanna 

6/14/22 

 1/24/22-6/11/22 

 0.38 years 

4.58 months 

19.73 weeks 

138 days 

3,314.45 hours 

198867 minutes 

11932020 seconds 

 One hundred thirty seven days I spent. I spent every single consecutive day by your side in the NICU from the day you arrived in this world on January 24th till the day you left us June 11th. The only day I was not there was your baby shower and your Papa still ran up there to see you that day to make sure there was not one day that one of us wasn’t there for you. And it wasn’t just a twenty minute visit. I spent all day with you. As Long as I could to make sure you knew my love and my voice and my smell. So I could take care of you and change all of your diapers and hold you as much as I could when I could. I would hold you for 2-5hours at a time and figure out how to pump while you were still connected to me.connected to the ventilator. I would use the restroom and eat before and hold you until my bladder felt like it was going to exPLODE. There were a few times I didn’t think I was going to make it to the bathroom. I Just never wanted the guilt of thinking you were alone or felt like we were never there for you. I know we were there, and I know you felt mine, your Papas and Your brothers love (who was able to see him twice before you passed even when it technically wasn’t allowed the staff made it happen for us during special circumstances). I wanted to be there to soothe you with positive touch and massages and my voice after so much negative touch that comes with being a NICU warrior. 

 Saturday was terrible, excruciatingly painful horrible and unfair but I want you all to know it was also perfect. I have peace and closure knowing Emerick got the best last NICU day ever. He got to hear stories about the good times, he heard laughing and joking and he heard the pain and heartache, the cries from his friends and family. He got to listen to Led Zeppelin, pink floyd and many more of the best rock legends, have a beer and a “fucking margarita” with his mama and papa. He got to taste “the best breast milk”, a thousand kisses and a million tears. He did arts and crafts with his brother, got his head rubbed and hair brushed in every style. He had a photo shoot to memorialize his perfection. He heard exactly what everyone loved about him and how much they cared. He brought family and friends closer. He had a maraca parade with an entourage while being held by the best mama. He got to lay in the sunshine, next to a peaceful pond, birds chirping, beautiful flowers in bloom surrounded by his favorite people. He took his last breath in the comfort and safety of my arms. He put his feet in the grass. He took a long walk free of the chains that he had been tied to. He got to be held by his big brother, Papa and Aunt Kkay. Had the most relaxing milk bath with flowers and special organic lavender soap. We were able to use some flowers that were so graciously sent to us from Saint Marys staff and roses that palliative care went and bought us to use and put in his final and first milk bath Saturday evening after he passed. His first real bath without fear of getting anything wet. He got to soak his precious tired body and have every little part of his perfect beautiful body finally cleaned. He was able to finally wear clothes with both arms in the sleeves without having to worry about tucking his right sleeve under Because of his PICC line. Most of all he got to rest in perfect peace. 

 I know he will never have to feel pain, struggle to breathe, get poked, need a breathing treatment, have chest compressions, get his temperature taken, have a trach change or cares, he’ll never have another diaper rash, or tape irritation he wont have anymore annoying wires or tubes to hurt his skin, or hear the loud beeps of the monitors. Selfishly I wish I could go to the NICU RIGHT NOW and see him there, but I know the truth. I’m sad that We don’t get to continue to grow his beads of courage but I’m glad it’s finished because that means he’s finally free. I have to hand the reigns over to the greatest caregiver. I know I can trust Jesus with him. He loves him most of all and will keep him safe for eternity where vital signs, blood gasses, x-rays, blood tests, Echos, ultrasounds, MRIs, PICC lines, vent settings, pain scores, paralytics, sedation, dosing weights and antibiotics don’t matter. 

I don’t know why Jan, Gage, Emerik and myself had to go through this incredibly difficult struggle and I’m sure I will ask this for the rest of my life, but I am proud of us for making the most difficult decision a parent could ever make. Emmie so graciously actually made the decision for us. It made it much easier knowing that he was tired and told us he was tired and it was okay to let him go. We were able to do that with the absolute WONDERFUL staff from Dell Childrens Hospital in Austin, TX. I cannot even begin to write how accommodating and compassionate the entire team was from top to bottom not only the entire time we were there but especially on Saturday. Dr. Loyd, Dr. k, Dr.Ji, Dr. Pont, everyone at child life especially Bethany, Caroline and Laura with Palliative care, Hand to hold, his primary Nurses Kim, Veronica, Victoria and mostly his primary Briana who had him when he coded on Thursday and was able to be our primary on Saturday as well (she was a GODSEND rockstar), his Respiratory therapists big John, Kim and Aldo, his Nurse Practitioners Brittney, Tandolyn, and Sarah, the other NICU mamas, even other nurses that had other babies that just took care of my family and played with Gage, and ALL OF The entire staff at dell. They all fought so hard for him. They all let me help be apart of his care plan and rounds and just so so so amazing. I just am so grateful for how the day was and I could not have imagined it any better. 

 I was meant to be Emmies Mama and he taught me so much strength, he showed me how to be strong during some of the worst times and it’s prepared me to continue to be strong for him now. I know he would want that from me, from Jan and from his big brother Gage. It was difficult to watch the sun rise this morning on a new day, a new reality, a new future without him physically in it. I think it will be hard for a long time, maybe even forever. 

 I am so proud of Gage for showing how brave, strong, beautiful, kind, caring and compassionate he is. He is the BEST brother I know on this earth. This boy just was 10000% there for his little brother on Saturday, even if it was one of the hardest days for him in his own short 6 years on this earth. I’m so damn proud of him. This isn’t going to be easy for him and it hasn’t been since the beginning. And he needs us to be strong for him and help him process this grief he’s so unfairly stricken with. 

 I just want you all to know that when I am sad, I will go outside, put my toes is the grass, feel the warmth from the sunshine on my skin, smell the sweet flowers in bloom, and listen to the birdies for Emerik. And I hope that you all can do that too. 

 Speak of Emerik, speak of him often… tell our stories to strangers, loved ones, friends and family. Ive been so transparent with you all from the beginning of our IVF/fertility journey to bring awareness, I want you to talk about it all. IVF, infertility, PPROM when I ruptured, high risk pregnancies, premature babies, NICU life, medical transport and being away from family, intubation and Tracheostomy, exclusively pumping, death and having to bury your 4 months old child. all of it. want his story to be heard and his memory to honored. If you see me, speak of him. Ask about him. Don’t be afraid to talk about our sweet precious Mister Man. My stink butt. My drama king, my handsome bobansome. My perfect little Angel who is now my families and also a special couple little boys in the NICU’s Guardian Angel. 

 We plan to have a intimate celebration of life when we get back to Reno in the following next couple weeks to spread some of Emmies ashes at Tahoe. I want to let you all know when that happens. And anyone is welcome. We also plan to head to Germany and hopefully a trip to Michigan as well to have celebrations of his life in both of those locations as well. He would want that too.

 I ask during those celebrations and also when he is being cremated that you just take a step outside and if your able to, put your feet in the grass again, and just take a few deep breaths outside fill your lungs with fresh air for EMMIE. I will let everyone know when those times are happening. Send us pictures so I can make a scrap book of all his support. I want to keep his memory alive the best we can. 

 Thank you for thinking about us and texting me or sending us messages or calls. Thank you for all your continuous support the past year. Ill never be able to put into words just how grateful I am for all of you.

 I am so sad. I am so terribly sad but know that it’s okay to feel these things. 

 I love you Emerik Stefan Lippert. You fought SO hard for 138 days of your short life. I’m so proud and jealous of your strength. Your heartbeat always showed me just how strong you were, from the beginning to the end my sweet boy. I can’t wait to see you again one day and run in sunflower fields together barefoot in the sun. Till next time Misser. ❤️