At the start of September I jumped from 7 floors up, wanting to end my life. By the grace of god I survived. The last 4 months have been hard, pain has pushed me back into my body, I can no longer run away. I owe everything to my friends and my family; the apologies outstrip my tongue but I promise to show you. I want to live.

I broke my spine, my left leg and my right arm. When I was first admitted I thought I’d be paralysed waist down. I’m now back on my 2 feet, with the aid of a crutch, and I kiss the floor for holding me up instead of folding me in. I hated the idea of my body recovering, I didn’t want to look at my legs and when I could first move them I would kick at the hospital walls. But my body exceeds me, it’s fighting to come back, and I’m determined to keep pace.

I’ve been back in the UK for the last 3 months, most recently in spinal rehab, and I am so grateful for the NHS. I came to this country searching for a new life, and it has safeguarded my survival. I hope to go home soon. 

I need help. When I jumped I was not in the UK, and I was not covered by travel insurance, my parents had to foot the €28,000 hospital bill. I cannot bear the idea of them being in further debt, not after all I’ve put them through. I’m asking for donations to help me pay them back. I won’t be able to work for the next few months, but I have to cover the costs of rent, transport, on top of access to physiotherapy @ the disability gym, talk therapy, and medication.

I cannot ask for forgiveness but I’m learning to ask for help.