Hi, it’s your friendly neighborhood karaoke host and bartender Liam of the Nob Hill Inn. I was creamed by a SUV while riding a scooter to work a few days ago, and my leg was crushed under the wheels. Those pesky, pent-up bones of mine decided they’d get out of the house and a team of surgeons had to scrape the asphalt off of them before sewing them back into my leg, accompanied by some shiny new hardware.

My ability to crack jokes, croon and pour drinks remains intact, but being a beneficiary of the American healthcare system has left me woefully unprepared to face the mounting financial repercussions of my smushening. If you can spare a shekel or two for this old chunk of coal, I would be eternally in your debt (instead of the hospitals). Thanks, blessings, cheers!