Leo, his awesome dad, and 2 wonderful big sisters

Frank Petrino is organizing this fundraiser on behalf of Drew Petersen.

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We Need Your Help

How do you tell the story of someone’s life that ended way too quickly? How do you tell people you know and love that there is now a huge hole in your family, or even begin to convey what happened? How do you deal with the loss of a mom, a wife, a twin, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a companion, and someone that you planned to spend the rest of your life with? How do you deal with the death of someone that happened so quickly and unexpectedly that you can’t breathe, and you cannot even grasp what happened? And how do you ask for help in dealing with the loss when you don’t even know where to start, and your life is now upside down? You don’t. But you need help, so this is where we start. We are asking for help for Elly’s family. We are telling Elly’s story for Elly’s family – to respectfully ask for help because help is needed for little Leo as well as Drew who is now a single dad with three children.

Elly’s Story

Elly slipped away from us late Sunday night and her family was with her when she took her last breath at the hospital on Monday, January 30, 2023.

While at home, she fell, lost consciousness and never woke back up. She stopped breathing and Drew revived her with CPR and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation while calling 911. First responders quickly attended to Elly and rushed her to Region’s Hospital, but once Elly had lost consciousness, she never woke back up. Drew and Elly’s close friend, who is a paramedic, was on scene as well and relayed everything that they were doing to try and save Elly.

Regions called in its top neurosurgery team. But after assessing Elly, she was found to have suffered a massive brain bleed which caused swelling, pressure, and closing off most of the major vessels, preventing regular blood flow to Elly’s brain, and therefore not enough oxygen to sustain brain function. The doctors did not know how this happened. But Elly had been struggling with chronic migraines and occipital headaches her entire adult life.

The Neurosurgery team told Drew that Elly was brain dead and there was nothing doctors or surgeons could do to bring her back. They were keeping Elly’s body alive with machines and told Drew to call the rest of Elly’s family to say goodbye. Drew couldn’t breathe when he heard those words. He would not tell you that, but in that instant, we saw everything in his body freeze in time, and stopped, just like Elly’s life stopped.

We brought the kids, Trinity, Ariel, and poor little Leo in his jammies to see his mom and dad at the hospital. Elly’s dad, stepmom, and her twin sister Erin were there by Elly’s bedside, Erin holding one hand, and Drew holding the other. Neither of them wanting to ever let go. Leo didn’t understand, but Trinity and Ariel did. Trinity held on to her dad and sobbed and sobbed. Other family arrived, and Drew’s close friend came to support him. Doctors and nurses were in and out of the room not wanting to see or deal with what was really happening. Doctors and nurses have that silent body language that you watch with a knot in your stomach. You know the message they are conveying is not one of hope, but one of silently knowing too much, knowing there is no hope, and knowing this is a day they are not going to forget soon. It is the kind of day that leaves a mark, even for a professional caregiver who has to deal with this far too often.

Nobody wants to let go of someone they love. You listen in disbelief and nonacceptance. You hear the words, but they don’t register. Doctors know, at least the good ones do, that seeing is believing, and while Elly’s heart continued to beat, her brain and Elly’s soul had already left.

So, they did further tests to show Elly was gone. Drew and Erin watched in agony as each test was done, and Elly didn’t respond. She didn’t wake up. Elly was sleeping, but that deepest sleep from which she would never awake. What do you do when the person you love with all your heart won’t respond? How do you make the decision that no one wants to speak about.

Elly’s story is one of hope, as Elly was a donor. But let’s be honest, the family and loved ones of the donor make the awful decision in the end. They know logically that Elly is helping other people by donating her body parts, but they have to come to grips with it really not being Elly anymore. Elly’s spirit left when her soul slipped away.

The donor team came in and started to make arrangements. Drew, Erin and Steve held Elly’s hand and stayed with her. Then the time came…the time to stop the machines, and to truly let Elly’s body be at rest. The doctors and nurses stayed in the background waiting for the nod, the word, the moment that someone from the family would say okay, we are ready to let go. Elly’s dad wanted it to be over. His heart had been broken before with the loss of a child. But Erin, Elly’s identical twin and other half of her soul cried out in anguish “I will never be ready to let her go.” Drew sobbed as he held the hand of his forever love and life partner and broke down “I can’t do this.” But who can? The priest had come and given last rights. The kids have come and said goodbye as they looked away and were so afraid of what would come next. Drew and Erin were left. The machines had been turned off. Drew and Erin wait, watch, and hold Elly’s hands and head while the last breath leaves her body, and her last pulse whispers away. And when that happened, Erin crawled into bed next to her soulmate and twin, her dear Elly and laid with her until she was ready to let her go. Drew held her until he could know in his heart she was truly gone. And we watched from a distance as the ache and emptiness settled over that room.

The Rest of Elly’s Story

Drew and Elly have Leo, Elly’s pride and joy. Leo is 5 and loved, loved, loved his mom with every fiber of his being. He confided in her like she was his best friend. He told her great stories, she taught him the wonders of the world, and she made sure he knew every moment of every day how much she loved him. Elly’s story will continue in Leo as Leo is her legacy. Leo made her happy when she was sad, he made her laugh when she was down, Leo woke her up when she was tired, and Leo knows Elly, his mom, always has his back. Elly read to Leo every single night – he loved stories with mom. Elly took walks with Leo and had him finding rocks, feathers, plants, animals, and any strange little thing nature had that they could find.

What Leo doesn’t understand yet is that Elly cannot be here to take care of him. Leo understands yesterday and today and tomorrow, but he does not understand next month or next year. That falls to Drew, the dad Leo counts on, the dad that takes care of his every need, drops him off and picks him up from pre-school, plays games, does meals, bed time, stories, doctors, and all of the day to day activities that come with raising a child. Drew has Trinity and Ariel to help, but they are just kids who lost a parent in Elly too.

Elly’s family, Leo, Drew, Trinity and Ariel need help to get back on their feet emotionally and financially. Who at the age of 35 has their life planned out from insurances, to providing for future care or needs. Not many, and not Elly. Elly was trying to think ahead though, and just about two weeks before she died, she started inquiring about life insurance. She didn’t plan on dying at 35. She thought she had time to get these life-plans in order. But it didn’t happen. She died far too young, and far too unexpectedly. So, this family needs our help. They need help to just meet their bills to adjust to going from a two income family, down to a one income family, and to help Drew in his role as a single dad to provide and care for his family, for Elly’s family…for Leo.