I am a single mother with loving, bright, amazing dependents!

I need your help. As hard as it is for me to ask for help, this is not the time for my pride and self disappointment to get in the way of asking for the help needed to reduce the impact on the wellbeing of my children’s future.

I am in desperate need of help coming up with the retainer fee for a legitimate attorney. My children do not deserve me getting a felony and impacting my ability to drive them anywhere for years or to be able to apply for and hold down a respectable job.

If I felt this charge was warranted and accurate then I would humbly accept my punishment and I would not fight the issue. However, this is not the case in this situation.

A public defender will not suffice and ultimately my children will be unnecessarily impacted by this charge.

Even $5 from each person that feels I have ever significantly helped them in their lives at one point or another would add up and make a huge difference in my ability to fight for the betterment of my own, and in turn, my children’s futures. Every little tiny bit of help will forever benefit the rest of our lives in a tremendous way!!!

I humbly reach out and ask for your support!

A year and a half ago I had a nasty car wreck totaling my dad’s car I was borrowing. The airbags did not go off and I fear I sustained a traumatic brain injury and some significant brain damage making all normal life activities more challenging. My health has steadily declined causing me to isolate more and more and to feel completely alone, other than my dependents that need more from me than I’ve felt capable of offering them alone.

I developed Ulna nerve palsy causing me to loose my job and become virtually unhireable which increased my depression and anxiety. All of this still was not enough for me to learn how to ask for help and rather to just push everyone away further and isolate more.

The day of the car wreck I had worked a double. I did have two margaritas and smoked one joint in between my work shifts at 4pm, getting off work around 9pm and getting in the wreck from being so very tired at 11pm. I was trying to avoid an object in the road and turned the wheel abruptly, over correcting, causing me to loose control over the vehicle and slam into two different concrete walls holding up an overpass and totaling the vehicle. I was going 30 mph in a 35 zone and no other cars were involved and zero property damage. When the cop showed up he gave me a DUI (my first ever) even tho I blew a 0.03 on the breathalyzer even though the legal limit is 0.08.

The public defender did not help me reduce the charges, but I was able to do the deversion program allowing fines to be significantly reduced. Due to my low alcohol content I did not have to put the interlock device in my vehicle (that I no longer had). I was just almost finished with all the other restrictions and requirements to be done with all that when I was again pulled over the other night (two nights before Christmas) in my new to me junker car, going 15 mph in a residential area. I should have known better than to drive at night right before the holidays.

My kids were out of town with the dad figure for winter break and I was feeling sad and lonely. I never go out at all anymore but went for a burger at a bar because in Ashland all regular restaurants close at 8pm and I was hungry with very little food at the house.

This random human talked me into giving them a ride home on the way to my house. Once in the car they suggested we go to another bar for one more drink. My immediate reaction was No. I even said I don’t like to be responsible for anyone else and just wanted to go home.

After not drinking or smoking anymore for quite some time, my tolerance is very low and I felt very tired and ready to go home. I also felt responsible for getting this person back to their car so I waited around for them to finally be ready to go back. They were being very loud and rambunctious going to my car and another person followed asking for a ride also. My gut said no but I also let them talk me into coming along. ‍♀️

Lesson Learned!!

Their noise getting to my car drew attention from the cops trolling for people leaving the bar. I had had two drinks in three hours which is within the legal limits so I thought I was in the clear. A cop followed me for about 10 blocks through a residential area waiting for me to mess up. I thought I was following all rules and laws immaculately but some deer crossed the road. I stopped and waited for the deer and then when I proceeded to go around the last of the deer that weren’t moving the cop said I did not use my left turn signal so he hit his lights and pulled me over. I then find out the human I was getting back to their car had several DUIs and no license and the one who jumped in my car last minute had a nasty reputation with all the Ashland cops which did not help my situation.

The cop said he had to take away my license and I needed to check in with the courts and DMV to find out why. I asked if I could just park the car and we all walk from there. He said no. He said I was transporting dangerous individuals and asked me to step out of the vehicle. When I did he said he smelled alcohol and weed on me and said he needed me to perform a field sobriety test. I told him I have my OLCC license and know that two drinks in three hours is within the legal limits and that I was not impaired or causing any harm or being unsafe. I know my rights and the laws and I was not breaking any just by smelling of these things does not mean I was breaking any of the laws that I was within the legal limits of.

He had me perform the field sobriety test and I thought I had passed perfectly. He had me do them over and over in the rain and cold until I was shivering and numb and eventually said he was arresting me. He took me to the station and had me wait 45 minutes for any alcohol to metabolize more. I blow in their device several times until I failed blowing a 0.082 finally. I asked how often their machine is calibrated because I can do math and that does not add up and I felt I was being targeted and set up for failure. I was extremely cooperative and kind and thanked them for their service and told him I had just watched all the horrific videos in the deversion program of all the incredibly and overly intoxicated people they deal with on a daily basis and I understand they are just wanting to keep people safe and alive and I would not want to deal with all they have to deal with and I’m very grateful for them doing a job very little people would ever want to do.

I honestly thought I deserved to be allowed to just walk home having learned my lesson to never go out to a bar ever again. Or if I ever did, once in a blue moon, to call an Uber. I was shocked that I received a DUII (for the smell of weed and alcohol on me) and for what I felt was an unfair and inaccurate reading of a failed breathalyzer. Because it was so close (a year and a half) to my last DUI, I will not be eligible for the diversion program again, or for a hardship license allowing me to drive for up to 5 years, and will receive a felony charge on my record. This will impact my life SO intensely and seriously punish my children.

I can no longer drive my son to school in the snow and rain. I walk him to school now, which is lovely in nicer weather, but very challenging in the ice and rain, and unfair to him when it’s literally freezing out. I can no longer drive 3 and 1/2 hours away to where my daughter goes to college and drive her to her orthodontist appointments 2 1/2 hours away every month and a half. She does not have her own car at this time. It’s a whole other expense we have no way of affording currently.

It was already challenging to get a job with my health issues in this tiny town where there are more qualified people needing jobs than there are jobs available. I will have an even harder time getting a job with a felony on my record. I have some stay at home online gigs that piece some funds together here and there but we are barely surviving on this as it is.

I will have challenges getting to all my doctor’s appointments in the next town over with a limited bus system now without a license. The bus does not run on Sundays and the largest joy I currently have going for me is attending church again at the Sunday service on the other side of town and e-dance that is at night after the bus stops running in this sleepy tiny town.

Since wrecking my dads car, he relies on me to help him get groceries twice a month and propane for the airstream he lives in since his knees don’t work well and walking is very hard for him. He also has weakening eyesight and his driver license has expired and he has increasing health issues, making him basically disabled and is increasingly becoming my dependent as well, as much as his pride will not admit.

My mom has had other options she refuses and chooses to live in a broken down van in town that does not run. I know that I did all of this to myself and to my children and my aging parents. I am so ashamed and disappointed in myself and have Absolutely learned my lessons. I never want to party again and only want to do right by my family and my spirituality and inner healing and peace.

I humbly ask for support raising money for the retainer fee for a real attorney to help me have a fighting chance at get these charges dropped, or significantly reduced, allowing me a second chance and impacting my children and aging parents less, allowing me to get my life back on track.

I promise I will not take this help for granted and every penny that is donated to support this good cause, I will put towards bettering the lives of my dependents so I can be the example for them that I know I am capable of being and get my focus back to what is most important.

I will be a healthy example of what can be done with a second chance and regain my self respect and atone for my mistakes. I will become a good friend again and work on getting a job that does not weigh so heavily on my health issues and do the work to heal my health so I can repay any and all debts I carry.

Even $5 here and there from everyone that feels I have greatly helped them at some point in our lives will add up to make a tremendous difference in the future wellbeing of my aging parents and my incredible children’s futures.

They are so deserving of me getting a second chance to be the mother and daughter that I deeply need to be for them. This is all I want in this whole wide world. Asking for help is hard for me, but without any help, I just won’t be able to do this one on my own without any support. If it weren’t for my family suffering from these consequences, I would face my punishment alone without asking for help, but my kids do not deserve my pride affecting their futures. My kids need your help.