(I have removed all identifying information after getting advised to do so due to fear of any harm coming to my family and others due to me just by association)

My name is J, and I come from a sunni Muslim family in Pakistan. After a long inner struggle, I could no longer pretend to believe in Islam. Choosing honesty over fear has cost me everything, my marriage has ended, I’ve been forced out of my in-laws home where I was staying as a guest only with my return planned in July, I shared the roof with my wife and child here in the U.S. , and now my family in Pakistan has learned the truth, I am facing total rejection; and possibly worse.

I’m now at a life-altering crossroads; with no home, no family support, and no legal way to earn an income. I only came to the U.S. on a visitor visa to see my wife’s family. Now, I have nowhere to go.

In Pakistan, leaving Islam isn’t treated as a personal decision , it’s considered blasphemy. Apostates face the death penalty, mob violence, and a justice system that often turns a blind eye to vigilante killings. If I’m deported back, my safety would be in serious danger.

As for my wife; while she acknowledges that I was never a bad husband, father, or person, she believes that, under Islamic law, our marriage is no longer valid. She admits I was always present and loving with our son, but for her, religion must come first. Her beliefs, family, and community pressure have made it impossible for her to continue the marriage, even if it means tearing apart the father-son bond between me and my child. For her the after life as portrayed in Islam is more important than the current reality of this worlds life and our sons care and needs of a loving and present father. I understand her fear and where it’s coming from, but it has left me completely alone, homeless, and emotionally and physically shattered.

According to religious ruling im not allowed at all to visit or have custody of my Son since im an apostate and all my rights as father cease to exist once im out of the fold of Islam.

I feel like im betraying my son although its not even his fault at all, he has no idea what or what not islam is even. My heart is torn and I cry almost every night whenever I see his picture or video or voice even. I never cried in my life over anything at all but this just breaks me into tears for hours. No matter how much I tell myself its be ok its ok the tears still keep rolling uncontrollably.

That’s why I’ve made the incredibly difficult decision to seek asylum in the United States on the grounds of religious persecution. I’ve already spoken with attorneys who specialize in helping ex-Muslims like me, those who face threats from their own families, communities, and governments.

But the asylum process is long, emotionally draining, and expensive. To do it legally and safely, I urgently need to raise $12,000 to cover:

• $6,000 in legal fees for an experienced asylum attorney and filing

• $6,000 for survival basics (rent, food, transit) while I wait 5–6 months for work authorization

• A small buffer for paperwork or emergencies

The most heartbreaking part of this is my 21-month-old son, Moo, the sweetest, most joyful little boy who calls me Baba jan baaaba janna and only knows unconditional love, he remains in the U.S. but whom I’m no longer allowed to live with. If I’m forced to leave the country, he’ll grow up without his real father. I want to stay close to him, support him in every way I can, and build a future he can one day return to. I want to build my life here from scratch and show by example. All I ask is the chance to live honestly, safely and build stability for my son to look up-to, and near my son.

I’m not asking for comfort, I’m asking for a lifeline. Your support can help me:

• File a strong and legal asylum case

• Avoid sleeping on the streets or ending up in detention

• Rebuild my life from scratch with dignity, without risking illegal work

If you believe in freedom of belief, the right to conscience, and the importance of a child having a present, loving parent, who can give him unconditional love and be his best friend; please consider helping, your generosity could save my future.

And if you’re unable to donate, please consider sharing this with someone kind who can. Even that would mean the world.

With gratitude and hope,

Jay