Peace for Claudine

As many of you may know, my mother went missing July 6th of 2014. My mom was my best friend, my role model, and i didn’t realize it then, but she was my lifeline and other half. In the summer of 2013 my family decided to make the move from New York, back to Florida, but this time my mom decided not to come back with us. For reasons of her own, many that I’m beginning to understand the more i grow and am starting to forgive her for them. She decided to move to Kilmarnock Virginia the day after I headed to Florida. I began my freshman year of high school and we spoke on the phone every single day, multiple times a day. She knew more about my “personal life” than my friends did..She even came to visit us in Florida on two separate occasions for lengthy periods of time! December of 2013, and the most recent visit, June of 2014. She had plans on moving back to Florida for good, but she explained to me that this was not going to be easy as she fell into an abusive relationship while in Virginia. As I learned more and more about what she was going through, while never once hinting to me that she was in distress, for the fear of worrying me. That is when I truly started to realize and admire how strong my mother was. A week before July 4th, she left Florida, with clear intentions on collecting her belongings and making the drive back home to me for good..in her car. After continuously talking to my mom everyday, like normal, the communication eventually stopped. This was not like her at all and that is when I knew my world had just been flipped upside down. The police department and detectives in Kilmarnock immediately started conducting interviews, and search parties in their small town, relentlessly looking for any clues, leads and high hopes of saving my mom. Her former place of employment, the Kilmarnock Inn, hosted a vigil for my mom and provided support like no other towards me, my father, and my moms sister. Missing posters on every light post, never a day that my mother was forgotten. Everybody in this unfamiliar, small town seemed to know and love Claudine. After months of investigations, there was more than enough substantial evidence as to who hurt her and what his motives were, to keep her in Virginia. After already being in custody for about a year, todd kessler was found guilty. A six-day trial was held in August 2015, where myself and many family friends were either subpoenaed or traveled thousands of miles to show their support and love for my one of a kind mom. In less than 30 minutes of deliberation, a jury convicted him of second degree murder and disposal of a body. Although knowing the man responsible for taking my moms life is behind bars for the remainder of his life, he still refuses to admit what the evidence provided, simply cannot deny. Here we are now, in 2023 less then a month away from July. The 9th anniversary of when my mother went missing and also her birthday, on July 21st. She would be turning 53. I am now married to the man of my dreams and have a beautiful 5 year old daughter, who i wish could’ve met my mom more than anything in this world. They would have been each others pride and joy. A majority of my deceased family on my moms side is buried on Long Island, and eventually I would like for her to have a spot next to her family in New York as well. As the years keep passing by and I religiously show Lilly pictures and videos of my momma, she is coming up with new questions the older she gets. Questions i never thought her little brain would think to ask. For the last year and a half i have been in contact with a cemetery here in Orlando Florida, desperately wanting a place I can go and truly feel that I am sitting, talking, and visiting with my momma. In the world we live in now, everything is more expensive and each and every person is going through hardships of their own, in their own personal lives. With each passing day since I have decided on getting a headstone, I’ve realized I may not be able to do this on my own just yet. My family and I are reaching out for help because i know how badly my mom would’ve wanted this. Living in New York, we went to her families cemetery maybe twice a month and left flowers…and I’ll never forget…left a cigarette for one our cousins i never had the chance to meet. I would finally be able to take a drive up the road and sit with my mom. Somewhere I can go whenever I’m sad. Whenever I’m happy and have news I know she’d love to hear, or if I just need to sit in silence and feel her presence, i would go straight to her. Somewhere I can bring Lilly and teach her that whenever she feels she has nowhere to go, even though she’s in heaven, she still has her Grandma and Grandma hears her and protects her. I talk to my mommy constantly, everyday, everywhere and no body has been found to lay to rest, but having that headstone that my mother so rightfully deserves, would bring us that much more peace. We may never get the closure I’ve always hoped for but this is a step I feel we need to take to make our hearts a little less heavy, all while feeling closer to her in spirit. I pray that with the help of my friends and family, we can finally accomplish this milestone in our healing journey. And now..if you have reached this point, i would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for even just reading it all and hopefully gave you a minute to think about my mom in your own way, with your own memories. A beloved Mom, Daughter, Wife, Sister, Aunt, Cousin and now Grandma️❤️‍