Lady bEast needs your hElp
Donation protected
I am asking for your help and financial support, since my life and fragile financial safety net were forever changed on April 24th, when my husband of seven years lost his battle with epilepsy. Joe passed just months before „Phase 2“ of our lives was to begin – a life with two stable incomes, a dog or two, and the outlook of less hard, stressful work and financial stability. A life in which we could finally focus on paying off my debt in a decent and fast manner.
So … how did I get here?
I met my (recently deceased) husband in 2009 – via MySpace, of all the places. Joe was just about to have his first collection of short stories, poetry and prose published, and I offered to help him set up a page for his „Blood will have its Season“ collection and his work in general. While setting up the page we started talking about everything else - „The Work“ in general, music, movies, comic books … and without realizing we fell in love head over heels.
A year later Joe left his life in the USA behind and moved to Berlin, Germany, so we could start a new life together. Our plan was daring: for the next 10 years he was going to focus exclusively on his writing career, while I would provide the family income.
We knew there would be long months, wolves at our door and the occasional really long week until the next payday. Next to providing for rent, electrictiy and all necessities, I was also paying off a massive amount of debt I had amassed as a young, stupid and clinically depressed young grown up. Joe was aware of all of this, helped me to pay off what we could together and adapted from his „fat suburban cat“ lifestyle to „barely scraping by“.
Our plan worked out for the next seven years. I provided a tattered financial safety net, while he continued to work as a writer, later even becoming an award winning editor. Things looked amazing: his career had reached a level we hadn't even dreamed of: nominations for the Shirley Jackson and Bram Stoker Awards. His name had become known and praised in the Weird Fiction community, repeated invitations to the Necronomicon Providence … and then our lives fell apart.
In early August of 2017 Joe complained about headaches and dizzyness. He collapsed a few days later, being feverish, confused and in severe pain. A MRI revealed a growth in his brain that was threatening his life and had to be removed in a dangerous and possibly life changing surgery.
He barely survived the next days at the ICU, and the surgery finally revealed that he had somehow grown an abscess on the optical center of his brain,
A return to a creative life was considered impossible, but we would fight. One day after he returned from hospital and was to start his rehab, a previously undiagnosed autoimmune disease kicked in and left me legally blind for six months. Almost three years later I still have only regained 30 percent of regular eyesight.
Our tattered financial support instantly fell apart. Even with the help of a previous GoFundMe, we barely scraped by. My income had dropped from 1600 EUR to 800 EUR within six months.
While my employer is still graciously waiting for me, others were not so understanding. By early 2018 most of my monthly payments to the companies I owed money to had been cancelled by them, as I could not pay the minimum amount of money they demanded. My bank account was impounded and locked at 1100 EUR per month, Any additional income will instantly be used to pay off my debt.
Our original plan had been to work hard until 2020, apply for Joe's Social Security payout after his 65th birthday in July and to start paying off my remaining debt in larger sums. The plan was scrapped early last year, since we were facing the very real possibility of losing our flat. We lost several hundred USD in payouts.
Late last summer Joe collapsed at home again and was later diagnosed with severe epilepsy, instantly receiving the highest possible dosage of several medications. He became dizzy, severely confused and verbally aggressive until the medications finally worked for him in early January.
But by early March he was back at the ICU, and in April he was diagnosed with „status epilepticus“ - my beautiful husband's creative brain had gone into overdrive. He would have continous seizures and rely on mind numbing sedatives and a ventilator to stop him from choking.
On April 21st the doctors and I decided to follow his wishes in his Living Will and let him pass peacefully instead of having to spend the rest of his „life“ sedated and on a ventilator,
Joe passed on April 24th 2020.
If not for the help of friends, fans and family I would not even have been able to pay for his cremation and urn. I am scraping together every cent I have to pay of my debts, but several companies will not agree to a bankruptcy agreement, so I am left with a severe amount of debt, a banking account that requires 5000 EUR to be paid off before any further agreements can be made – and I will not be able to return to work until January 2021.
I am, as much as I hate it, asking for your help in this difficult time. Every cent that is being forwarded through GoFundMe is going straight to paying off my debts, as I only have this one banking account.
I am thankful for every little help that you might be able to provide, so I can get back on my feet after not only losing my husband, but my future on April 24th 2020.
The newly crowned King in Yellow and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Much love,
Katrin aka Lady bEast
(formerly known as Lady Lovecraft)
So … how did I get here?
I met my (recently deceased) husband in 2009 – via MySpace, of all the places. Joe was just about to have his first collection of short stories, poetry and prose published, and I offered to help him set up a page for his „Blood will have its Season“ collection and his work in general. While setting up the page we started talking about everything else - „The Work“ in general, music, movies, comic books … and without realizing we fell in love head over heels.
A year later Joe left his life in the USA behind and moved to Berlin, Germany, so we could start a new life together. Our plan was daring: for the next 10 years he was going to focus exclusively on his writing career, while I would provide the family income.
We knew there would be long months, wolves at our door and the occasional really long week until the next payday. Next to providing for rent, electrictiy and all necessities, I was also paying off a massive amount of debt I had amassed as a young, stupid and clinically depressed young grown up. Joe was aware of all of this, helped me to pay off what we could together and adapted from his „fat suburban cat“ lifestyle to „barely scraping by“.
Our plan worked out for the next seven years. I provided a tattered financial safety net, while he continued to work as a writer, later even becoming an award winning editor. Things looked amazing: his career had reached a level we hadn't even dreamed of: nominations for the Shirley Jackson and Bram Stoker Awards. His name had become known and praised in the Weird Fiction community, repeated invitations to the Necronomicon Providence … and then our lives fell apart.
In early August of 2017 Joe complained about headaches and dizzyness. He collapsed a few days later, being feverish, confused and in severe pain. A MRI revealed a growth in his brain that was threatening his life and had to be removed in a dangerous and possibly life changing surgery.
He barely survived the next days at the ICU, and the surgery finally revealed that he had somehow grown an abscess on the optical center of his brain,
A return to a creative life was considered impossible, but we would fight. One day after he returned from hospital and was to start his rehab, a previously undiagnosed autoimmune disease kicked in and left me legally blind for six months. Almost three years later I still have only regained 30 percent of regular eyesight.
Our tattered financial support instantly fell apart. Even with the help of a previous GoFundMe, we barely scraped by. My income had dropped from 1600 EUR to 800 EUR within six months.
While my employer is still graciously waiting for me, others were not so understanding. By early 2018 most of my monthly payments to the companies I owed money to had been cancelled by them, as I could not pay the minimum amount of money they demanded. My bank account was impounded and locked at 1100 EUR per month, Any additional income will instantly be used to pay off my debt.
Our original plan had been to work hard until 2020, apply for Joe's Social Security payout after his 65th birthday in July and to start paying off my remaining debt in larger sums. The plan was scrapped early last year, since we were facing the very real possibility of losing our flat. We lost several hundred USD in payouts.
Late last summer Joe collapsed at home again and was later diagnosed with severe epilepsy, instantly receiving the highest possible dosage of several medications. He became dizzy, severely confused and verbally aggressive until the medications finally worked for him in early January.
But by early March he was back at the ICU, and in April he was diagnosed with „status epilepticus“ - my beautiful husband's creative brain had gone into overdrive. He would have continous seizures and rely on mind numbing sedatives and a ventilator to stop him from choking.
On April 21st the doctors and I decided to follow his wishes in his Living Will and let him pass peacefully instead of having to spend the rest of his „life“ sedated and on a ventilator,
Joe passed on April 24th 2020.
If not for the help of friends, fans and family I would not even have been able to pay for his cremation and urn. I am scraping together every cent I have to pay of my debts, but several companies will not agree to a bankruptcy agreement, so I am left with a severe amount of debt, a banking account that requires 5000 EUR to be paid off before any further agreements can be made – and I will not be able to return to work until January 2021.
I am, as much as I hate it, asking for your help in this difficult time. Every cent that is being forwarded through GoFundMe is going straight to paying off my debts, as I only have this one banking account.
I am thankful for every little help that you might be able to provide, so I can get back on my feet after not only losing my husband, but my future on April 24th 2020.
The newly crowned King in Yellow and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Much love,
Katrin aka Lady bEast
(formerly known as Lady Lovecraft)
Organiser
Katrin Pulver
Organiser
Berlin, Berlin