My fertility journey!

At the age of 13 I got diagnosed with pcos, the doctor didn't tell me what this was nor what it could mean. The Internet explained so much aswell as my parents.
In 2013 I met my now to he wife and lived happily until we decided to have children, we had to look into so much details to ensure that all the legal side was complete and enable both of us to be on the birth certificate and have the same parental rights. We decided that my wife would carry first as she had a better chance of success then myself. After two iuis at the fertility clinic we fell pregnant with a beautiful daughter who is now 2.

Not long after she was born we decided to get myself tested to start the process as we wanted our children to be close together in age and knowing how long the process before treatment it was the best solution. 
After all tests we was ready for treatment as awaiting my cycle.
March 2020 and we went into lockdown closing all fertility clinics. My cycle then started the day of lockdown.

Once the country reopened in June I started my first iui. This was like text book, follicles grew, medication was working and everything went smoothly. The tww was the hardest part but we got through it, the result was negative in july   I then went back into the clinic for baseline scan to do a back to back iui however they found a cyst in my overie so was told that the treatment couldn't go ahead.

Fast forward to mid August all ready to start another round but my cycle was no where to be seen. This is very common with pcos, funny enough she showed her face when we was swimming booked in for a  covid swab to be done and awaiting the result. The results came back 2 days later and was POSTIVE! This meant another cycle had to be cancelled and I then had to wait for my next cycle and a negative covid-19 test. September came and my cycle showed up and I was enable to start treatment, covid clear all medication and injections waiting to be used. Went for baseline scan and was given the go ahead to start injections of gonal f and buserlin. I was put onto the minimum dose as that worked last time however this wasn't the case. My follicles didn't grow! They increased my dosage to double however this had no impact and the follicles didn't grow any further then 10mm. The clinic decided to cancelled this round due to this meaning again we lost a huge amount of our funds.

The dreaded wait for aunt flow to show her face again begain. However this time she decided to make me wait 70 days! Went back to the clinic for my baseline scan, and I heard the dreaded words of a cyst again... another cycle would have to be cancelled however the amazing nurse requested to do a blood test to check for estrogen as if this was low it would mean that the cyst wouldn't grow with the hormone medications and would despurse itself. I had to wait until I got a phone call back before I could start medications, the next day in the afternoon I got the phone call to say I could go ahead and start the Injections however this time I would be on x3 the amount of gonal f. I returned every other day for baseline scan. The following scan I returned and the follicles had grown i had 1@12 and 1@11 it was working finally.
I returned for another scan on the Wednesday to be told that they haven't grown and I had 2x11 follicles and my lining had began to start thinning. They decided to increase my gonal f to daily instead of every other day. However when returning for my next scan this didn't make any effect on the follicles and this round got cancelled. 

I sat and cried for hours and hours whilst my wife just held me. Yes I know we have a child and I'm so lucky however every woman dream is to carry a child and have feeling of them growing. The kicks, the movement, the hick ups and I haven't had this.
The nurse discussed with me and supported me whilst explaining the next steps and this would be for my case to be discussed at their weekly nurse and doctor meeting. This was 4 days away

I got the phone call to say that I would need to book a doctors consultation to discuss things further with the doctor and my next steps in treatment.  I asked the nurse on the phone what was said and she said that it will be discussed with the doctor however they discussed trying a different medication or moving onto IVF.
A different medication might not work. 

During iui they are trying to ensure only 1-2 follicles grow to mature and to ensure this they monitor you closely. However with IVF they want multiple follicle to grow but ensure that they don't over stimulate you as you can become very ill.
We are going to require IVF, and because my wife tash has previously had a child im not entitled to NHS funding. I requested to try and egg share for anyone who don't know this is where I share half of my eggs with a unknown recipient and I keep the other half. This also reduces the cost majorly. In my head I was thinking we have to use a donor to be able to conceive a child so how amazing would it be for me to be able to give back. I had my blood drawn to check my amh levels however these are out of the range of 15-35 so am unable. Infact its over 3x the amount (94). This is an indication of pcos as like I have previously said iv been told on and off that I suffer with.

So now that leaves us here... another loan out? Save for another 6 years whilst paying of the previous loan? Or is it time to give up for a few years

This is the hardest one of the hardest things we have had to do, asking for help is definitely our weak point and telling such a personal story, opening my whole life up to the world. 

Thank you for reading infertility sucks!! 

Love K & N