This morning we lost all of our earthly possessions.....
our beautiful home on the hill overlooking the Puget sound and our trees of life, burned to the ground.....
“How did it happen?”
Thank God no one was home. The boys were at their dads, the cat with mom, and Scott and I about to catch a plane back home from my 50th birthday trip in NYC....
Its 2:30 am and I am awakened by Scott’s gentle but firm hand on my shoulder....”I just got a phone call with some disturbing news...”
Now I’m terrified....
“Our neighbor says our house is on fire.....he can see the flames and fire trucks”
A few calls to the local fire department and our security company and our fears are confirmed.....
“Looks to be a total loss”
“How did this happen?”
“Where do we even begin?”
We are now on a flight home.....home?.....
what is that going to mean?
no home to return to...
No sleeping in our own bed...it’s gone now.
No mornings watching the sun rise from our kitchen windows.....they are now debris.
No gathering for meals around our table....it is no longer there.
Where will we go when we land?
Do we go to where our lives once were rooted and existed? What will we see when we get there?
Am I ready to add this image to my now vivid memory of what I had, just a week ago, gleefully left? The grand adventure awaited us and would surely usher in the next decade of my life with great stories to recount and memories to keep close.
Memories.....boxes of my life burned in the fire....gone
I am not sure I am ready...
My husbands writings.....all of his heart, soul, time, energy, inspirations and discoveries populating the pages of his leather bound journals...now littering the ground in tufts of ash.....gone
“How did this happen?”
Life as we know it will not be the same..
We will forge ahead together.
We will have to slowly rebuild what, just a few hours ago, we lost.
My memory isn’t what it once was. I must reconcile that I have much to let go....images, scrapbooks, keepsakes from my life before today that I won’t see again or in some instances won’t remember.....
I am grateful. My heart will need repair and time, but I am grateful.
Scott and I are alive and well....our children are safe and loved....our cat is fine and at ease at grandma’s house....we are ok. Part of our lives is now gone forever but what about the life that remains? It is full of thanks for all of its blessings, hopeful that what will rise from this muck and mess will be beautiful, and happy that we can look around and know that all that we truly need is right here.
Scott, the kids and I will find our home in each other. I know, in due time, we will create another space that we can “call” home. But I have to be honest and speak my truth in this moment. All of my spirit and soul, every cell in my body is aching to go home....I just want to go home. I want to walk in and feel the instant warmth and familiarity. I want to see it. I want to smell it. I want to feel it. It is gone.
The road ahead is daunting. I am scared. I feel overwhelmed by all that needs to be done and sorted out. My heart gives me solace. There is peace in knowing that we will steadily find our strength, that we will rise up and we will see the sun once again
- Carri Gest
- liisa thorson
- Josie Johnson
- Jaime Loughlin
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