Kohen's Gender Affirming Top Surgery

Hello!

I am fundraising to offset the costs of Top Surgery, which I have been waiting what feels like a lifetime for.

I am so grateful and thankful for the friends and family I have that have been supportive of me since the beginning of my journey, but in case you've stumbled upon this and don't know what top surgery is and why it is something I've been hoping for, here's a rundown on both.

What is Top Surgery & Who Gets It?

Top surgery is a gender-affirming surgery that many folks look to have to remove breast tissue. This surgery is sought after by Transgendered folks, Non-Binary folks, Gender Non-Confirming folks, Masc presenting folks, and really anyone looking to remove their existing breasts or to flatten their chest. This kind of surgery can serve many purposes, depending on the person that's looking to get it done. But it can be a game changer for folks with gender dysphoria.

What is Gender Dysphoria & Why Does it Matter?

Gender dysphoria is a term that describes a sense of unease that a person may have because of a mismatch between their biological sex and their gender identity. This sense of unease or dissatisfaction may be so intense it can lead to depression and anxiety and have a harmful impact on daily life. People who have gender dysphoria also often experience discrimination, resulting in stress. Accessing health services and mental health services can be difficult due to fear of stigma and a lack of experienced care providers.

Adolescents and adults with gender dysphoria without gender-affirming treatment might be at risk of thinking about or attempting suicide.

Folks with gender dysphoria will often try to mitigate those uncomfortable feelings when looking at themselves by trying to diminish/make smaller the things they feel uncomfortable with - and in my case, that's my chest, which I diminish its appearance by wearing a binder daily.

What is a Binder? Why do People Bind? What are the Side Effects?

A binder is something anyone can wear but is often worn by Trans, Non-Binary, Gender Non-Confirming, and Masc presenting people. Chest binders compress breast tissue to reduce its appearance. While binding is very effective in practice, it also comes with serious risks including difficulty breathing, chest and back pain, rib bruising and fractures, shortness of breath, overheating, and skin damage. Top Surgery is the safest long-term option, compared to wearing a chest binder daily.

Who am I & What is My Story?

My name is Kohen and I am 29 years old, but I started my sexuality and gender journey at a very young age, ever since I could remember really. To save everyone my novel of a life story, the TLDR version is that I always felt a little different. I always felt that I didn't fit into the box I was placed in. From the beginning I found myself feeling more comfortable in men's clothing and with a men's style haircut. When I got older and when my more feminine physical features started showing through, they made me very uncomfortable to look at and to have on my body. I couldn't tell you how many times I looked at myself and compared myself to the men at school, at the mall, and everywhere - asking myself why I didn't look like that. I couldn't grasp why my outward body didn't match what I felt on the inside.

If you read the above portion, these kinds of negative feelings and associations I had with myself and my body didn't have a positive impact on my mental health and treatment in the outside world. When you choose to not conform to the box you were placed in and start to live your life outside of it, some people around you might not understand and people tend to fear what they don't know. So I've lived with the weird looks, stares in public, and nuanced talk about me for as long as I can remember. When friends and family started changing their opinion of ME as a person, my personality, my character, and my morals all based on my outward appearance - that's when it really started to hurt. Because I've always been ME. But changing the way I looked, helped me LOOK more like the me I've always FELT.

Constantly bullied and harassed in school was my normal being the only out lesbian - because when I was younger and where I grew up, talk about the LGBTQ+ community was not done frequently enough. I had no idea how to conceptualize the feelings and the thoughts I had because there were no words for them. "Lesbian" was really all that was available to me at the time, so I went with that. It felt...a little better but still didn't feel right. I didn't learn about the option of "transitioning" until much much later on in life. I often wonder if I had learned about that option sooner - how much easier my life would have been on my mental health and overall outlook on myself and life. I wish I had known there were other people like me, who thought like me. I hated feeling so alone and isolated. If only I had access to the knowledge and acceptance I have now, my younger self wouldn't even believe the life I have now. They would be so proud of the support system I've built, the friends I've made, the relationships I've built, and the confidence I've gained back since starting Testosterone 2 years ago and now with top surgery within arms reach.

I'm Asking For Help

Again, in short, this surgery is going to be life-changing for me and the excitement I feel now that I have a date locked in for it - APRIL 24th - is something I cannot put into words. However, this kind of surgery is expensive itself, but also expensive due to the recovery time afterward that I will have to take off work and will not be able to bring in the income for rent, bills, groceries, and so much more. I'm so thankful that my girlfriend has been so supportive of me from the beginning and will of course be by my side through the entire process, but I am asking for help financially so that while I'm recovering she isn't left to handle everything on her own.

Thank you so much to every single one of you for just visiting this page, educating yourself on the various nuances surrounding Transgendered folks like myself and top surgery, listening to my story, and helping out in any way you possibly can - even sharing this page to your friends and family is a huge help!

You're all helping to change my life for the better!