NS Court Gives Kids to Abusive Dad

My name is John Shymko, and I live in Ontario, Canada.  I am trying to organize a campaign to help a friend in Nova Scotia, whom I am unsure of whether I can publish her name without possibly bringing her children into the public microsope, which I believe is both unfair and quite possibly illegal.

So I am acting on behalf of this woman, who is going through hell with our legal system, an abusive ex-husband, and the unbalanced power that money and privilege afford.

I have a history of activism and can be reached at [email redacted] if anyone has further questions or needs validation of my identity.  This is not a scam.

I am just trying to balance the scales.  I am letting my friend speak for herself. Please help me to help her and her children.  Following is her story in her own words.

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I  pray you will never feel this pain…

”If you ever leave me I will make ruin of you financially, lie about you and take your children!” This was something my ex-husband had vowed when I told him he needed to let me go…

I am a mother of 4 who endured unbelievable abuse for many years. He hit me, called me names, punched my son, berated  my daughter, accused us all of things we didn’t do. The father was finally removed from our home in 2011 for domestic violence.

Whew!!! But the abuse was far from over. He started to drag me through court repeatedly to make me suffer, and was sending me thousands of pages of emails with false accusations and lies about myself and the children.

He then started lying about my oldest son, claiming he had sexually molested my youngest. Three years of this and him telling everyone my son was a pedophile and now we have a report that vindicates my oldest son and exposes my ex for the liar he is. It also documents years of abuse we suffered at his hands and the emotional scars left on my oldest son.

Now, 4 years later, I would have thought we would have come out on the other side but no! I have been dragged into court countless times at this point costing more than $65,000, (and it’s far from over) even when this man has committed assault against myself, my teenage son, my teenage daughter (both of whom had the RCMP ready to lay charges but when you are amidst a custody abuse, the Crown usually backs down worried that there may be false allegations.

First, because of a violent attack on me, my ex-husband had only ever had supervised access with our two younger children. Last April, after a very brief time of unsupervised access, he was charged with a violent assault on our then five-year-old.

The child was interviewed, examined at the hospital, charges were laid and he wasn’t permitted to see the children without supervision for 8 months.  He has also showed up at our home (he has a restraining order and is not permitted to do so) and refused to leave, for which he was arrested (again).

The courts re-interviewed my daughter and she “forgot” what had happened. The Crown  was forced to drop the charges. Now my loving ex was allowed to see the children without supervision.

The Department of Community Services tried to get him to continue with supervision because this made the children more comfortable. Me ex claimed his rights are more important than the needs of a 6 and 7 year old and that I must be making all this up!!

He insisted that he will only see the children if he can do so with no one watching!! The children were afraid and said repeatedly to me (their mother), the therapist, and the DCS workers that they really wanted to feel safe with daddy and could someone else please be there?

“Well then I won’t see you for a very long time!” was my ex's answer.

I was left to pick up the pieces and make that sound reasonable and ok for the children.

Then, ….it all crashed…

I went to Family Court and was told that I have not been supporting the father in his visits with the children, in spite of evidence I have.

I try to even play a recording that demonstrates all of the concerns the children have when they return form their visits, to show that I am encouraging the kids to see their father, telling them how much daddy loves them, etc.

The judge stated children have no voice in a courtroom! She also didn’t allow me to speak, saying “I already know what your answers will be”’

Aside from the father locking them in the basement, dragging them down the stairs, squeezing them so tight trying to quiet them that it leaves bruising, calling them liars, telling them he’s taking them away from their mommy, the judge stated I have alienated the children from their father.

She wants to hear nothing more that I have to say. She tells me that I am irrational and most likely suffering from a mental illness. Maybe it’s delusions? Maybe I am unable to see the world as others do?

She is unsure what it is, but very certain that I must never care for my poor lost abused children again. (I am, by the way, a professional. A teacher of young children with a Master’s degree and clean teaching record for 20 years).

The judge also accused me of being such an actress that she claims I have managed to make DCS, The police, the counsellor and others around me believe all of my claims!!

 In fact, the judge believed the issue was so cut and dry that the children were to be immediately overturned to the care of their father.

This, the same father who just that morning was only allowed to see the children with supervision because the child protection system viewed him as a danger.

Now, he is the preferred care-giver and I am evil. The judge says I have abused them by alienating their father, without an ounce of evidence! I was told I won’t see my babies again until visitation is arranged at some unknown later date.

I have already had to succumb to a battery of psychological tests at this very judge’s demands.

There were no psychological concerns. This father…not so. He has a personality disorder. One that makes him insensitive and at times abusive to others (Narcissistic).

Still, the judge maintains that I am mentally unwell and this is part of why my kids must be removed from my care.

Now, today, despite asking to speak to my children and/or have their brothers and sisters, grandparents and step siblings speak to them, I am told by my ex that I am not permitted to talk to them and if I try to contact the caregiver, school, doctor, etc. I will be charged!

I ask for the court order where this is stated and am ignored.

And I am the one said to have alienated him?

Please help me find a way to fight this monster. He has my babies and I know they want to come home. I have nothing to fight him with, I lost my last home and all of my pension fighting him already. He comes from a wealthy family with seemingly endless resources.

I ask for your help getting my little ones back to their family where they aren’t locked in the basement or dragged down stairs or held against their will and called liars.

In my home we talk to one another, play mini stick hockey, read books, go for walks and generally treat each other with respect.