A or “O” (is a universal donor)
I have a story to tell in the hopes to get some attention and love for one special kid. Kincaid, now 13 years old, was born with a genetic, chronic kidney disease called Polycystic Kidney Disease. To look at him you would not even realize he is sick. Kincaid plays the saxophone and is on the swim team, but he is functioning on 19% of his kidneys.
Being born with this we knew that a transplant was in his future, we just didn't know when. Fortunately medication through his life has kept him stable. We hoped it would be several more years.
THE TIME HAS COME! He is now on the transplant waiting list. The doctors are hoping in the very near future for the transplant, actually talking this Christmas, if we can get a donor. We thought we had a possible match but that is just not the case anymore.
Now I’d like to tell you about Kincaid’s mother Audra. Audra had experienced Polycystic Kidney Disease before because she had two sons before Kincaid that also had this disease. Audra unfortunately lost both boys to that disease. One living 4 weeks and actually almost got to come home. The other lived only for 4 days. Needless to say her spirit was crushed. It took her years to find her light..
Well.. In 2004 she found her light and purpose in a little girl that she adopted from China. Her name is Olivia and she is courageous and beautiful! Having two biological kids myself I had started the process of adopting from China and shared that news with my best girlfriend and next thing I know they are joining us on the road to adoption. I was so over the moon excited that she was doing this that I couldn’t be that excited for myself and I was ok with that.. I was so happy for her!!! It was a beautiful journey to adopt together and knowing that she was going to have a baby girl was incredible. Now my daughter Lena and Olivia, now both 15 yrs old, are the best of friends.
A couple years later Audra discovered she was pregnant again. She was extremely worried that the same disease would take this baby away too. At that time there was a 1 in 4 chance of this disease inflicting her babies and it happened to all 3 of her boys. Although affected by the disease, Audra delivered Kincaid on the side of the road in an ambulance. Funny that she actually thought about putting Delk (road) in his name. Kincaid was the only baby she got to hold right after birth, in that ambulance. After a while in the hospital Kincaid got to come home. Even though he was in and out of the hospital earlier on he got to grow and thrive with the continued help of a great medical team. Audra’s family was complete.
Audra, early on, got tested and was a match for Kincaid for when he was ready for a transplant. She knew that there was no question where her son was getting that kidney from.
It was coming from her...
On December 27, 2016 Kincaid and Olivia lost their mother to a horrific tragedy. Two days later Kincaid makes reference to along with losing his mother, he also lost the kidney that was intended for him.
I was having a Christmas gathering at my house with a few people and about 15 minutes after Audra drives away from my house her husband took her life. Her husband was convicted last October and sentenced to life plus 16yrs.
I’ve lost my best friend of 17 years but I can’t think about that because I feel selfish. All that matters is the well being of her two babies. Their loss is unimaginable.
Olivia and Kincaid now reside in Tennessee with their wonderful, loving, protective grandparents. Their whole lives uprooted and torn apart of what they knew. They are being very well taken care of and trying to move on with their new life. Missing their mother so much and confused about their fathers choice but doing well.
Kincaid's grandparents have to make the trip to Atlanta often for his medical needs.
The transplant will be done here in Atlanta.
The kids are on the grandparents insurance but the surgery alone out of pocket is pretty steep. Also insurance only covers 3 donor testings a year.
With the grandparents being retired and a unexpected life shift which they lovingly and gladly took on, this has obviously made things harder financially.
I have to find help for this family!! I have to find a kidney for Kincaid!!
I feel that with the passing of my best friend this is what I can do to honor her life. For those who knew her she was a strong, beautiful woman that loved her children fiercely and stood up for them and herself as much as she could.
“Love Her but Leave her Wild”.. that was inked across her shoulder the summer before she died.
I guess my plea to you is to consider getting tested for organ donation for Kincaid. Just consider it. I just learned that 30% of kidneys alone in the US are discarded for different reasons and not used. The waiting list is very long for a deceased donor.
The success rate for a live donor is so much better and faster.
Also, of course there is a worry for Olivia. She is the ultimate protector of her little brother. They are extremely close but she worries that she will lose her brother now. I would like to bring some joy to her life, to both of them anyway that I can.
I have seen many smiles and heard such laughter from them since all of this occurred. They are wonderful, beautiful children and I pray they rise above this and not let what they have endured at such a young age define them.
I know Audra, their fierce protector and her purpose, keeps an eye on them. I feel it.
It takes a village.
If you feel led to see if you are a match, please click the link below for more information:
Hannah Bagwell is in charge of transferring all donations to the account set up for Kincaid. If you would rather send a check or wire transfer, please contact Hannah at [phone redacted] or you can email [email redacted].
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