The Hardest and Most Hopeful Season of My Life

There are two things I have always known I was meant to be: a teacher and a mom. For years, I poured my heart into nurturing and teaching others’ children as if they were my own, and into roles that uplifted people and communities. It is sometimes hard work, but it is my heart’s work. In September, I finally decided to become a ‘single mom by choice’. I had taken my first steps toward actualizing my longest held dream and was filled with hope because motherhood was within reach.

Then, in October, during what was supposed to be my routine annual checkup (ironically also Breast Cancer Awareness Month), the world and future I’d prayed for and dream about dissolved into uncertainty… I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma- breast cancer. All at once, in a single palpable moment, the fear of cancer and the fear of losing my chance at motherhood became the most imminent threat to… to everything.

Because it is Stage II, I must immediately rush into fertility preservation before cancer treatment threatens my fertility. The plan is clear and critical. First, a single IVF cycle- my only chance to prayerfully create embryos and hold onto the lifelong dream of becoming a mom. Then, chemotherapy begins in January- four rounds in total, I will lose my hair during the second round. This will take around three months. After a short break, radiation will begin around May- every day, Monday through Friday, for six and a half weeks. Then I will begin five years of hormone replacement therapy (HRT), pausing after fifteen months to hopefully carry the embryo to term, give birth, and then complete the remainder of HRT. This will be the most important fight of my life. All of this feels grossly unfair, and I am still reconciling it all, but I remain faithful and determined to fight for myself, for motherhood, and for the unknown and unborn child whom I’ve loved my whole life.

I have always felt confident and capable of doing many things on my own… but this season feels different. My community- my family, friends, church family, colleagues, former students & their families, and neighbors- has asked me to let them step in. So, here I am, gratefully accepting that offer because I cannot carry this season alone, I am saying yes to support and care. All of this is overwhelming, and more unknown expenses and needs emerge daily. In this season, I am understanding the need to ask for help and to let others hold me in the ways they are able, and I am asking you to please step in and help, as you are able, as well.

I am humbly asking for your support to make this process and this season a little softer and lighter to carry- to cover the very real burden of unexpected costs of treatment and care, and to allow me to hold steadfast to hope, healing, and motherhood. Your help means more than words can say. With all of that being said, admittedly, a “thank you” may feel small, but please know those words carry my whole heart, so THANK YOU!

With so much gratitude & love,

Khamia

How Your Support Helps: Your support will help me cover the urgent and unexpected costs of completing my one IVF cycle and beginning cancer treatment, including:

• IVF medications, cycle fees, and frequent monitoring appointments (not covered by insurance)

• Egg retrieval procedure costs (not covered by insurance)

• Embryo creation, freezing, and storage (not covered by insurance)

• Lumpectomy surgery and other medical copays (not fully covered by insurance)

• Chemotherapy related medications and supportive care (not fully covered by insurance)

• Radiation treatment copays and supportive care (not fully covered by insurance)

• Nutrition and food needs for a chemo safe diet (not covered by insurance)

• Head prosthesis, wig, and hair-loss care items (not fully covered by insurance)

• Transportation to frequent oncology, chemotherapy, and radiation appointments (not covered by insurance)

• Gas and ride-share costs for days when driving is not safe (not covered by insurance)

• Increased household needs and support during treatment and recovery (not covered by insurance)

• Travel support and in-home care during critical parts of treatment (not covered by insurance)

Thank you for walking with me in hope and faith. I am stepping into the hardest and most hopeful season of my life at the same time. Your support means more than I can ever express. Thank you for helping me fight for my healing, my future, and my dream of becoming a mom. I am so deeply grateful for every gift, every prayer, every share, every reference and resource, and every word of encouragement. Although I may be slow to respond, I promise I will as I am able. I will share updates throughout IVF, surgery recovery, chemotherapy, radiation, and the journey ahead!

UPDATE: Here is our road map:

• Oct 15: Breast cancer diagnosis (initially classified as Stage I)

• Oct 30: Lumpectomy surgery (mass and margin removed; small, but spread to lymph nodes, now classified as Stage II)

• November: Healing from surgery

• December: IVF everything (our ONE CHANCE)

• January: Chemotherapy, four rounds, one every three weeks

• April: Rest and recuperation in preparation for the next phase

• May to June: Radiation, every day, Monday through Friday, for six and a half weeks

• Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT): Five and a half years total, which will pause after the initial fifteen months so I can carry the embryo to term, give birth, and then resume treatment.

:)