Let’s Make Ronald Poop Again!

Meet Ronald. He’s a dashing 6-year-old orange cat with a tragic backstory involving a mysterious toy ingestion, a malfunctioning colon, and a lot of poop-related drama.

Two years ago, Ronald swallowed a toy that did not pass go and absolutely did not collect $200. Instead, it played a long, sinister game of Monopoly in his intestines, eventually exiting in a dramatic and life-changing event that left Ronald… well, let’s just say his bowel movements have never been the same.

Since then, it’s been a literal uphill battle for every poop. Ronald now lives a life of enemas, medications, vet visits, more enemas, special diets, and yet somehow… even more enemas. He’s been scoped, X-rayed, poked, and prodded, and no one could figure out why his little kitty caboose just couldn’t keep up.

Until now.

This Christmas, Ronald and my sister Blanca flew out to California to visit me — his poop-obsessed auntie and longtime vet tech. After hearing about Ronald’s struggles, Dr. Alvandi let me keep Ronald at work so that together, we could help figure out a solution to his problem.

We discovered the root of Ronald’s suffering: the toy he passed years ago had caused permanent damage to his colon!

The only way to fix it? Surgery.

And not just any surgery — we’re talking colon resection: fancy, invasive, risky, and yes, absolutely necessary if Ronald is ever going to have a normal bathroom break again. Without it, Ronald will continue to suffer daily, and we’re reaching the end of the line….

Here’s where you come in.

We’re raising $5,000 to fund Ronald’s surgery.

Blanca is a young professional who just bought her first home and has already poured thousands into Ronald’s care. Putting him down is an option — but not one we’re ready to take.

Ronald is funny, affectionate, weird in the best way, and totally worth the effort.

So let’s do this. Let’s rally for this resilient little ginger boy.

Donate today. Because no cat’s life should revolve around poop… unless he wants it to.