I give up. After 2 years of getting the same robotic rejections from any and all tech companies, I have to admit that my 6-figure tech career is over. I don't have a tech career anymore, and I need to start over. I am declaring bankruptcy, and I need your help. It costs $2000 to file a Chapter 7 claim, ironically—why would a bankrupt person have that kind of money laying around? But whatever. IT'S OVER. It started with this devastating medical bill in Florida that Covered California would NOT cover, and a layoff, and my shitty family luring me to Florida when I was subsequently made homeless and bankrupted. Thanks a lot, you idiots. Thanks to my "family," I live in an unheated garage with a cat and no toilet. So here's the deal—I already paid the upfront fees for a retainer and I need $2000.

Venmo me at @Kevin-Munroe or hit me here.

And I promise you, once I get back on my feet, I will write the most EPIC comedy set about the fuck-shit people have put me through in the last 3 years. JUST YOU WAIT.