The worst betrayal is betrayal by a loved one. I have always been very independent and made my own way. I was taught by my parents that if you had more than others, it was your duty to give and make the world a better place. Naïvely, I believed and trusted that everyone else had the same values, especially all of my siblings. I was heartbroken to find out that my sister, who became the executor of my mother’s estate and her primary caregiver, did not share those same values. My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease in 2015. She began to have a series of falls and serious injuries, that became more and more disturbing and unexplainable. My sister and her husband were very angry & controlling with everyone else in the family and I assumed it was due to stress from the situation. In 2017, I contacted the Center for Aging in the county in Pennsylvania, where my mother lived to see if they could help counsel my sister and her husband and mediate with the rest of the family. They told me that they suspected Elder financial abuse as there were several red flags indicating that, and put me in touch with that department. They wanted to investigate and I said no as I couldn’t imagine my sister doing that to my mother. My sister and her husband had a very dramatic improvement in lifestyle shortly after my sister took control of my mother’s finances. Regrettably I did not allow Elder Protective Services to intervene until it was way too late. My mother’s dementia progressed rapidly, the pandemic came about, and circumstances became even more confusing. I will never know exactly what my sister did or didn’t do. However, I do know that she has never been transparent and has never answered any questions that I or anyone else has ever asked her. She claims that my mother was a “private person” and didn’t want the rest of her children to know anything about her finances. My mother died in August 2024, after having been non-verbal and requiring sedation for almost three years. It was heartbreaking.

I have had several serious health challenges and severe financial setbacks in the past four years which have unfortunately caused me to incur a lot of debt. My real estate appraisal work has been very slow for the past four years due to high interest rates and acting is always a very competitive business. Appraisal work is beginning to pick up a little and I am doing a few days on a very low budget movie next month. I also do Airbnb with my guest room and rent my home out for filming whenever possible, but things are still very challenging every day to help make ends meet. I am doing the best I can to pay the debt off, but I still owe about $60,000 in credit card debt mostly due to medical bills. The stress of carrying so much debt along with long term under employment has definitely impacted my health physically, mentally & emotionally, making it very difficult for me to keep moving forward. I struggle to find hope and purpose. I have been in survival mode for four the past four years. My recent diagnosis with dry macular degeneration has added an additional level of stress as it requires daily care. Please pray that my eyesight remains stable. All I want to do is stay in my home and live a peaceful and healthy life. I am not one to ask others for help. I have always been fiercely independent and I would rather give than receive. However, at this point, I must reach out and ask for help, especially since it appears that the distribution of the funds of whatever is left from my mother’s estate will be delayed indefinitely as my sister wants to go to court for a “first and final accounting” before a judge. She was advised by attorneys to do this to protect herself from anyone challenging her actions as executor. The rest of us would prefer a typical Family Settlement Agreement, which would settle the estate quickly as everyone wants to move on, and not incur additional legal expenses. However, there is nothing the rest of us can do to stop her from taking this to court. I know that my sister’s actions are not what my mother would want. My mother loved all of her children & grandchildren equally and did not play favorites.

I feel blessed that I inherited many of both of my parents’ good qualities, which are priceless. I am especially grateful to have gotten their resilience which has given me the strength to keep going. This picture of my mother and me was taken on my birthday in 2011, which was also Mother’s Day. I was a Mother’s Day baby, so it was always very special when they fell on the same day. Saint Patrick’s Day was always her favorite holiday, so I decided to post this on Saint Patrick’s Day in her honor. I am not looking for a handout. I am a very hard worker. I would much rather have a hand up. Any help in any way would be greatly appreciated. Kevin