Keep Ashleigh & Kobi’s Lives Stable While Mom Battles Cancer

“Could you say that again?” I asked weakly. “Stage 3 Metastasized Breast Cancer…” my provider said. A scene that has become all too commonplace in the richest country in the world, yet here I was; single mother of two small children—one seven and the other ten.

I am not special or unique from everyone else diagnosed and having to deal. And I don’t want to take away from their struggle. As a single mother, all I can think about is who will take care of them, if not me, who? Ashleigh is ten, on the spectrum, and has a rare genetic disorder. Kobi is a seven-year-old, high-energy, intelligent young man.

I am self-employed so I could be present and care for my children. Once I stop working, that income stops! I have kept an emergency fund, in the event of minor injury or kids getting sick, but it isn’t enough to sustain us through my 24 weeks bout of chemo, double mastectomy, radiation, and recovery.

I have tried to run every scenario possible. How can I keep my kids’ life as “normal” as possible during such a traumatic event?

I cannot.

Normally, I get them ready, drop-off and pick-up, prepare special lunches (with/without certain ingredients), and accompany Ashleigh to numerous hours of therapies. Ashleigh needs help with school work, attends gymnastics, voice and piano, Girl Scouts…will I be able to do all this with her after chemo? If I can’t, who will?

Her life is changing enough already. The more stable I can keep things; 1) the less I will worry about their emotional and mental health, 2) I can focus on fighting and beating this thing, and 3) without any income, we are at the mercy and kindness of strangers.

This is where you come in…

I am expanding my village to help me look after these two and help me to be here to see them.

I imagine for the next two years our lives will be turned upside down. I want to do everything humanly possible to keep their quality of life the same; even though mine will vary. I would like that to be one constant.

To do that, the children need an attentive nanny for when I’m unable to attend to them. Basic necessities, food, groceries, lunches, dinner, and snacks. That person could do drop-off and pick-up, extracurricular activities, meal prep, laundry, etc.

Between chemo and how much tissue and muscle that must be removed, I’ve been strongly encouraged to have a nurse to assist with daily tasks; hygiene, baths, drain tubes, Rx schedule, etc. I tried to say that was unnecessary but the provider kept saying, “I strongly urge you to reconsider.” I said no—outright because I just cannot afford it.

Utilities have to be paid and the emergency fund will only last so long, after that….

School tuition, extracurricular activities, uniforms, gymnastics, Boy & Girl Scouts, transport to play dates and events—oh no more snack mom duty (I’ll actually miss that—well, the gossiping with other moms!)

As a mother with little to no support, I am pleading with you to help raise $50,000 to ensure the next two plus years are the least disruptive to Ashleigh and Kobi as to allow me to focus on my health and recovery so I can be there for my babies.

I know there are a lot of people deserving. I thank you for reading this far.

My greatest fear is, “if I don’t take care of them […].”—With your help, I feel like they [this village] will.

Thank you for choosing to be part of our village.

Rachel