Well I seem to have “won” the cancer lottery. It is time to let you all know what has been going on with me health wise. In June I was diagnosed with having a very large cancerous tumor in my liver..… the size of a small plum. In late August, I went to SF for a Y90 chemo bead infusion surgery directly into the tumor. Hopes were that it would shrink enough to qualify me to begin the transplant process. A liver transplant is a real possibility and life need, but there is a new, even worse, development that has been discovered by my medical team. During a routine PET scan done about a month ago in late September to make sure the liver cancer hadn’t traveled elsewhere, it was discovered that I have a new separate aggressive cancer in my neck near my vocal cords. After discussing the risks/ benefits of a horrendous life-altering throat surgery, it was decided by a cancer board to proceed with a double whammy of a strong chemo infusion schedule along with a separate targeted radiation beam treatment on my neck to save my vocal cords. I was at risk of loosing my ability to talk, taste and smell. So it was decided that I quickly begin a Chemo infusion therapy with the “brutal” drug Cisplatin once a week at Kaiser Santa Rosa and weekly M-F targeted radiation treatments at the Rohnert Park Cancer Center for two months. I will have a specialized and face contouring rigid full face mask to wear during radiation. Permanent small tattoo dots help the technicians accurately line up my neck each day. No motion of my head is allowed and is ensured when the mask is bolted down to the table before I am mechanically moved in to the radiation chamber. Sounds fun, right? Terrifying is more like it, but I am practicing my controlled breathing and meditation techniques to use which hopefully will keep me calm. My medical dance card has been extremely full. After undergoing everything from additional CT scans, MRIs, tons of blood panels, counseling, oncology specialist calls, radiation doctors, GI doctors, endoscopies, and, making sure an oral surgeon deemed my existing teeth healthy enough to undergo both treatments without having teeth extracted, it has been a scary uncharted ride for me. It is so out of control frightening for me. Dental is extremely important for patients undergoing neck radiation. The treatments severely weaken your jaw bones and make you susceptible to contracting serious infections for the rest of your life such as if you undergo any future serious teeth extractions. So you have to go get your teeth looked at and cleaned every three months by a dental specialist. None of that is coved by my insurance. My chemo infusions and the separate radiation treatments start Monday November 2. They will last 7-8 weeks. Swallowing and eating will be a huge challenge as my saliva glands will not be working and blisters from the radiation will make my mouth and throat miserably sore. Side effects have been explained to me and after the chemo wipes out my immune system, I will be in recovery, healing, restoring my internal balance. I will have many months of recovery and system rebuilding. My future hearing, fragile teeth and jaw bone, different sense of taste and overall fatigue will most likely become part of my future world, even though I am visualizing having zero lingering permanent side effects. So there you know all know what I have only shared privately with my friends and family. Let’s see how I do. I have created a GoFundMe page as I realize the implications of trying to pay my bills while in deep recovery mode. I am searching out a naturalpathic parallel wholistic treatment to work on rebuilding my internal organs and regain my platelets and white blood cells to ward off infections. This person will also be a plant based nutritionist specializing in post- cancer patients like me. I am going to need a PT who understands muscle rebuilding after radiation. Not sure if Kaiser offers that, but I am looking into it. Thank God Kaiser has approved me as low income and are covering all my other surgeries, copays, tests, treatments and doctors visits for a year. Thank you Kaiser Billing. I have closed my wholesale glassware business and have no plans for returning to showing my fine art for a long time. I have been blessed enough to have three angels that are helping me with my basic living expenses through the end of the year. I am so grateful for these special angels… two good friends and one local art organization. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. But with all of this I am still finding it finacially challenging to prepare for my immediate needs and future needs. My fatigue is already very high and will be off the charts after the two treatments begin. Many of my side effects build up over time and show up after the eight week treatments are over and could last for a very long time. I spend a lot of time sleeping right now because of my liver cancer and treatment hasn’t even started yet for my throat. And when the throat cancer is knocked out, I will still have a failing liver to deal with. And I can’t be put on a transplant list until I have been clean of secondary cancers for five full years. So I am in all of this for a while. For now I just am asking for help getting me through at least the 6-9 months. I would love to go back to work asap but with a compromised immune system, that won’t be a possibility until my whole blood cells return. So, if you feel like doing anything for me in the near future, I am really moved at your offers of bringing me meals and offering companionship. But I am following a strict high protein, anti cancer diet that I am able to make at home. ( Now I get to be my own Personsl Chef!) I am freezing soups and smoothies to prepare for the time during the targeted neck radiation treatments when I won’t be able to swallow very much at all. So prepared meals are not something I need right now because I need to watch sodium levels as well as any outside exposure risks to Covid, simple colds or the flu. So once treatments start, my compromised/ destroyed immune system makes me a high risk patient. Thank goodness I have a ton of face masks left from the Covid lockdown days. 1. So instead of purchasing outside food or meals for me, any small monetary donations will help me buy my much needed organic groceries which will help me feel more in control of some things in my immediate future. 2. Your donation will help me pay for my specialized dentist. I will start seeing them every three months starting in March. 3. I can also immediately go purchase the things like special lotions and ointments for my radiation skin, neuropathy items for my hands and feet, soft leisure wear for infusion days and bed days and to enable me to purchase things and pay for medical services not covered by Kaiser and Medicare. It all adds up and this Artist Woman has been living month to month for years, so I am really living bare bones these days. 4. Your donation will help me pay a bill here and there as needed. This kind of urgent need is throwing me a mental curve filled with worry and anxiety. I weigh every little thing I buy these days, choosing the less is best path. And that doesn’t help me feel calm and cared for. Worrying whether or not I can pay my normal monthly bills during the 3-6+ month timeframe for intense recovery is adding to my burden. I am not able to work right now as the part time gallery manger down in Sonoma because I need so much sleep without demands. Sometimes my brain fog is so thick that I can’t find the right words. Very frustrating and exhausting. And my days as a Personal Chef will be impacted greatly. So I am trying to find the positive in each moment. Right now, before my treatments begin, I am trying to fortify myself with nutrition and walking for muscle retention. I have unfortunately already lost about 30 pounds in three months with my liver cancer and my radiation specialist says I will loose a lot more with treatments. If I can’t get enough hydration in me during chemo and the additional radiation, I will be given hydration IVs. If I can’t get enough nutrition into my body then they will need to insert a temporary feeding tube for Ensure type of liquid meals. Yummy, eh? Anyhow, that’s my first entry. I will be writing more as I know more. Thank you for being in my loving healing circle. Forgive me if I don’t post much on Facebook for a while. I am trying to limit my exposure to news and other things to keep my head clear. But you can always message me and I will respond back, ok? Thank you. I love you all! ❤️❤️❤️❤️Kay