Kate's Charity Head Shave

Hey lovelies!

Please sponsor me to shave my head on the 5th Feb 2023, when it will be colder! I’m raising money for two local, Cornish charities, Gather (www.gathercornwall.co.uk) and Man Down (www.mandown-cornwall.co.uk).

Gather is “a community organisation that supports people affected by sexual trauma. A place to connect, raise awareness and break down the isolation of shame & secrecy, through accessible peer support”.

Man Down is a “non-profit Community Interest Company”. They provide “informal peer-support talking groups all over Cornwall for men with mental health concerns. Together we can end the stigma and reduce the number of male suicides in Cornwall."

I will also be donating my hair to be made into wigs for cancer patients.

I’ve chosen these charities because as a survivor of sexual assault, I have first hand experience of how important it is to have a safe space to share an experience without judgement or shame.

At age 9 I lost a friend to suicide, and in later life working as a support worker I regularly witnessed people self harm. As a result of this and being sexually assaulted I have been diagnosed with complex PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Lots of people associate PTSD with war veterans, but trauma comes in many different forms and can result in mental health diffculties, including PTSD. Triggers can come in the form of any sensory experience such as the smell of cigarette smoke, the colour red, the sound of a motorbike or even just a word, and can last from minutes to months. Triggers often change meaning they can come unexpectedly. When a person is triggered they may experience visual, auditory, or physical flashbacks, re-living the trauma as if it is happening in that instant.

Victims of sexual violence are likely to experience fluctuating, or permanent, feelings of not knowing who or how to trust. Trust is everything. It allows us to feel safe, calm and relaxed. It allows us to build friendships, relationships and communities. Furthermore, our bodies can hold trauma. Not feeling comfortable in our own bodies creates feelings of mistrust and disconnection, not only from ourselves but others too. Without trust we are left lonely and isolated.

As a survivor of sexual assault, for years I felt I was hiding a dirty secret, which created a feeling of shame. I carried this for years when actually the shame was not mine to carry. I’ve chosen Man Down in recognition that men also experience emotional, domestic and sexual violence but often are less likely to talk about these issues or seek support. Male suicide rates are higher than women's, possibly as men are less likely to discuss their emotions. Feeling less isolated & alone can often be a life line to help someone feel worthy, and sometimes having a stranger to talk to can feel easier than a loved one.

Holding things in can make any of us unwell which is why both these charities are so important. AND both these charities offer FREE support making them accessible to everybody. Having free access to a safe space allows people to process experience more easily. To be heard and be seen in a non-judgemental environment is essential to the ongoing road to recovery.

I've been meaning to do this since the lockdowns in 2021. During this time I was triggered by the Sarah Everard case, then several of my friends tragically lost male relatives to suicide. The impact of suicide on relatives and friends is so huge, and support groups can be lifelines, both preventative, and to those left behind.

It's taken me this long to have the courage to share why these charities matter so much to me. My hair is now double the length!

I’ve chosen to do this now as this time of year can be difficult for many people. I hope that by raising money and awareness for these two charities, we can make a difference. Please donate generously!!