Trigger alert for those of you who may have suffered from sexual abuse or loss to suicide.

Some of you may know our story, but many may not. I was married for 24 years with three amazing boys before my husband died tragically in an accident in 2020. But this story is not about that. This is my son’s, Toby’s story.

Toby was a beautiful, happy, blue-eyed boy who loved life. Baseball runs deep in our blood, and my husband loved coaching or assistant coaching our boys' teams. We loved baseball, and we loved (and continue to love) our baseball families. For those who know travel sports, you know the bond you form. We were more than friends. We truly embraced each other as family.

Unfortunately, one of the mothers on Toby's team pulled the wool over our eyes. Unbeknownst to us, at the age of 39, she began sexting and sending our 13-year-old son nude pictures of herself via SnapChat. Shortly after he turned 14, she engaged in sexual acts and intercourse with my son. Soon after, his behavior quickly deteriorated. He became a form of himself that we had never seen before, nor did we understand. After a couple of very unimaginably difficult years, Toby revealed his secret. An investigation occurred, and an arrest was made. She was part of a reputable, generous, well-connected family in the community. Sadly, the jury acquitted her presumably due the lack of physical evidence and despite having two witnesses who testified to seeing inappropriate acts. (Snapchat history cannot be collected after 30 days, therefore there was no hard evidence of the sexting and pictures at the criminal trial.) She hired an expensive attorney, and he did his job. It was a devastating outcome.

The verdict was crushing. As hard as he tried, the actions of this woman haunted him. In 2022, Toby filed a civil lawsuit. He was willing to settle the civil suit before trial. He just wanted closure. However, while she did not deny the allegations, she couldn't offer as much as an apology, an acknowledgment that what she had done was wrong, or reassurance that he was not to blame. When she stated she had nothing to give, it was a kick in the gut. Later that night, Toby wrote a note saying he could not continue to suffer, blaming this woman for everything. He took his life the next day. He was only 21.

An estate was created in Toby's name to continue the civil lawsuit. The verdict was found against the woman, in favor of Toby. Soon after, she filed bankruptcy in an attempt to once again escape her responsibility for what she has done. To defend the judgment from being discharged in bankruptcy court, I have had to hire a bankruptcy attorney.

This is becoming a very expensive endeavor, especially due to the fact that I am now a single mother soon to have two kids in college, trying to maintain a household, all while working on a public school employee salary. I am determined to hold this person accountable. I don’t believe her claims of having no money, though I may never see a dime from her. She cannot be allowed to walk away from the level of trauma and devastation her actions have caused not only Toby, but to our entire family since the time of her egregious acts.

I am not good about asking for help. Many of my friends and family have already been so generous with their financial support following my husband's and Toby's deaths. I truly do not want to ask more of those who have already been so giving and supportive. I simply ask that you help me share this far and wide so that I may get support from others who may find it in their hearts to help. This is for Toby. He deserves justice! He deserves to have her be held responsible! His life means something, and I will not give up on his fight!

Thank you for your continued thoughts, prayers and support. Please share and ask others to share. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Becky