This Christmas, Hannah’s blended family changed forever following a domestic violence incident that resulted in an emergency restraining order. Hannah’s husband headed straight to the airport and flew to Dubai when he was served and his daughter (Hannah’s stepdaughter, A, 16) was left in Hannah’s care. A needs your help.

I am Lori Wilkins Sims, founder of NachoKids Academy. I have been helping stepfamilies navigate difficult dynamics for over a decade, but this situation really stands out from a stepmom I know well. I know us stepfamilies can unite to help protect this poor girl.

Quick summary/ TL;DR:

A 16-year-old girl is asking the court to let her stay with the stepmother who has raised her, because she does not feel safe with either biological parent. A Guardian ad Litem has been appointed to represent her voice, but the full cost falls on the stepmother, whose husband fled the country and stopped financial support. Funds are needed immediately so the court can hear the teen’s independent voice.

See Hannah’s words below:

TEEN GIRL NEEDS YOUR HELP

“I have been in A’s life since she was 4, and I have been raising her full time since she turned 13. We have been through thick and thin together and share a deep, loving bond.

A was having a lot of academic, social, and emotional difficulties when she first came into my full-time care. She had been expelled from school and feeling helpless and hopeless. I am happy to say she has since been absolutely thriving.

A is a great student now, even scoring 99 percentiles on standardized tests. She is in student government, works with suicide prevention advocacy, volunteers, and is a devoted teammate in Cheer and Junior Lifeguarding. She is also a wonderful, beloved big sister to my three young children, her half siblings. She has big goals of attending Rutgers University and studying business.”

WHAT’S HAPPENING?

“A’s biological parents want her to be sent to Dubai to her father.

A has told me and police that she does not feel safe with either of her biological parents, her mother due to past experiences and a minimal relationship over the last few years, and her father due to recent and escalating behavior that has left her feeling scared. Since the restraining order, distressing conversations with her bioparents have led her to regularly seek police guidance.

A’s father has told her that he would have likely been fine with me having guardianship if not for the restraining order, and that he would consider it if I were to drop the restraining order and get back together with him. He is putting A in the middle with his coercion; while also admitting she is safe with me.

A is begging to be allowed to stay with me, but legally she no say. She is mature and wants to advocate for herself and what she believes is best for her wellbeing and future.”

WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?

“I raised A’s concerns to a judge and asked for help.

The judge granted me temporary emergency custody, recognized that there is risk, and assigned a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) to ensure A’s voice is heard. The GAL will speak with everyone involved, especially A, and make recommendations to the judge about what is in A’s best interest.”

THEN WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?

“Unfortunately, the cost of the GAL ($400 per hour) falls entirely on me, as I was the one who made the request. The judge selected a specific GAL for the case, and I am not permitted to seek lower-cost alternatives.

I was told this will probably be $10k or more.

After the GAL report, there will then be legal fees to determine jurisdiction since this is a cross-border custody dispute.

Since the restraining order, A’s father has abruptly stopped all financial support, despite existing court orders. He flew to Dubai the day he was served and it seems the financial aspects of court orders cannot be quickly enforced there. I’m already in a separate case of my own with A’s father regarding the restraining order. I have no way to additionally support A’s legal fees.

Without the funds to support the GAL’s work, the court may not receive A’s independent voice in time, which could affect decisions about her placement. The GAL is scheduled to report to the judge on A’s behalf on January 23, only a week away. I must pay the retainer immediately and then figure out ongoing legal costs for her in the weeks that follow.

My own court case has a hearing 3 days later. I am completely overwhelmed. But she does not feel safe elsewhere, and I won’t turn my back on her.

It is incredibly difficult for me to ask for help, but A and I cannot do this alone.”

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

“If you’re able to donate, even a small amount makes a huge difference. If you can’t donate, please consider sharing this page.

Funds raised will go directly toward GAL costs. Any remaining funds will help cover related legal expenses and help stabilize all four children after the abrupt loss of financial support, including necessities like rent and groceries.

A and I are deeply grateful for every prayer, share, and donation. Your support truly means more than we can express. I promise to keep you posted regularly.”

MORE FROM LORI:

Hannah was a long time admin of NachoKids Academy and has been supporting stepfamilies for many years. She even went back to school to get a research masters degree to help improve stepfamily studies. She was invited to the very first Stepfamily Research Conference in Malta last year. She is currently working with a Harvard professor to publish a paper in improving stepfamily therapy, though that has been paused as her whole world is now upside down.

Hannah has devoted herself not only to her stepdaughter, but to improving the lives of all stepfamilies. It is now our chance to help her, to help A.

This link will likely be shared through many stepfamily support groups. If you’re a stepparent who is tired of the “evil stepmother” stereotype, I hope you’ll help spread this far and wide. Spread it on facebook, spread it on reddit, spread it on tiktok, spread it on X. Send this to lawyers who can help, domestic violence advocates, anyone with a big following and influence! Let’s show A and the world that stepparents and stepfamilies CARE and will always protect stepkids from abuse.