Justice & Support for Sierra

Sierras Facebook post On July 3rd, Sierra was the victim of domestic assault. As the result of defending herself, she is now also facing charges. This fundraiser is to help offset the financial burden of a lawyer and court fees. Here is her story. If i lose friends or followers or business because of this, then so be it. It’s time to stand up for myself. I am terrified for my children to see me this way (no they were not around when this happened and no, they were not ever witnesses to any physical abuse by him to me, i would’ve never allowed that to happen.) I still have no idea what to tell them happened to me, but i know damn well i would never want my daughter being in a situation like this so here goes nothing. July 3rd, the man i love and the man that claimed to love me, did this to me. It wasn’t the first time. It was just the worst time. And it is now the last time. I’ve struggled and been back and forth on posting this because I’m so embarrassed of my face... but i shouldn’t be embarrassed. He should be embarrassed. This is the hardest post i have ever had to make, but if i don’t have a voice, then who will? Domestic abuse is a real thing and it’s closer than you think. Never in a million years did i think i would be a woman to stay in an abusive relationship, but here i am. And it’s sad. And I’m ashamed of myself because i knew better and i know i deserve better. But he made me feel multiple times over and over that i was worthless, or that i deserved it. Or if i didn’t hug guys, or dress a certain way, or do things with my friends then he wouldn’t be mad. If i didn’t make him mad he wouldn’t act that way. That i deserved the way he treated me and that it was my fault. And i believed him for so long. He had me that brainwashed that i believed that i deserved it. That it was my fault. If only i was better. The constant put downs. The constant mental, emotional and physical abuse. He made me hate myself. He made me change myself. He made me feel like i was never good enough and that he could do better than me and he did me a favor by staying with my “piece of shit ass”. He made me feel worthless. He took advantage of my kind heart and my forgiveness. I enabled him. I kept taking him back. I believed i deserved it because he made me feel like i didn’t deserve better. The lies he told everyone around him that it was my fault. Constantly running my name to the ground, lying to everyone around him that would listen, to make himself look better and feel better about himself. The lies he told himself and everyone that it was ME, not him. The multiple death threats more times than i can even count. A gun put to my head. And i still stayed because i was scared. And i loved him. And i still love him and that’s so sick, isn’t it? I lost all my friends. No one would be around him because they knew of the abuse. I lost all my family because of him. I had lies spread about me and so much more and i stayed. And he made so many promises that he would be better and work on his anger but none of it was his fault, it was all mine and always mine. Well this, no one deserves this. No one. I’m not posting this for sympathy, because please don’t feel sorry for me. The fault i have in this is staying far longer than i should’ve and having too big of a heart and giving too many chances. I’m posting this for awareness because i never thought i would be that person. And i bet none of you did either, huh? Well, here’s the cold, hard, bloody and bruised and broken, ugly truth. And i don’t want the same thing happening to the next girl he tries to manipulate and gaslight with his narcissistic ways. He’s good at it. So if this saves another woman, then this embarrassing post is worth it. And if you are in an abusive relationship, get out. You can do better. You are better. You will survive. You are worthy of love and so am i. And this, my friends, isn’t love. It sucks that this is what it took for me to break free but I’m finally free. And i hope he truly enjoys his 15 minutes of shame. Because he still tries to deny this even with multiple witnesses. Isn’t that funny? So this is me finally finding the strength to be done. You better believe i fought like hell right back. I will heal, i will rise. I’m a survivor and i always have been and whoever is going through the same thing, i pray you find the strength to leave before it comes to this. He said he “was going to make me ugly so no one else would want me”... so here’s just few hours before this happened last night. Let’s hope there is no permanent damage and i can get that girl and that smile back because i will smile, for real one day. And not that fake one that’s hiding behind all of this. Im not going to live in shame or fear anymore or keep protecting him and lying for him because I’m better than that and I’m stronger than that. And this is not my fault. It is his fault and only his. And it’s not your fault either, no matter who you are or “what they say you do to deserve it.”