Julie Casil: Job Loss & Fresh Start
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My mother, Julie Casil, has spent her entire adult life in struggle. As a child, I did not understand the heart breaking choice between spending time with her children and providing. She worked day and night to feed her three hungry children, pay rent, and keep us warm during the cold Washington winters. When I look back into my memories, what I do remember are getting food from the food bank, getting donated Christmas presents from strangers marked from “Santa,” and staring into the dark apartment parking lot, often much past my bedtime, waiting for my mother to get home from work.
Eventually, we moved to California, to live with my mom’s parents. As a child, I saw everything through a child’s lens. I did not fully understand why we moved. There, I was able to grow up knowing my grandparents, but at the sacrifice of my mom’s independence—we three children shared a bedroom, my mom slept on the couch or on our bedroom floor. Moving in with her parents allowed more supervision for us, but she was no longer a full grownup, relinquishing much of her adult freedom. I remember when she came home after breaking her back. She fainted on the way from the car into the house because of the extreme pain from trying to walk with a broken back. The hospital sent her away after a severe concussion with a broken back and pelvis because we had no money and no health insurance.
Before breaking her back, she started going back to college to finally finish her degree, but after the concussion, she couldn’t even remember how to read. I sat with her, happily reading to her my elementary school books. She had to start over, relearning how to read and write from her little daughter.
When I was in high school, she was forced with starting over again. She was faced with picking up our family again and moving across the country for my sister’s health. All of us had to drop everything to move and start somewhere new, with no family nearby to help.
When I was pregnant with my own little one, I often cried, fearing I would turn into my mother. I was afraid of sacrificing my dreams, hard work and freedom. My husband helped me to see my situation is different, I am not a single parent faced with the dilemmas and extenuating circumstances at nearly every turn that kept her from achieving her goals.
A few weeks ago, my son turned one. With the invitations to his birthday, I sent self-addressed envelopes asking everyone to please write him a letter to open on his 18th birthday. My mom told me about the conversation she had with her mother after receiving their invitations. My grandmother is 85 and mentioned the strangeness of writing a letter that probably would not be read until after her death. After telling me about this, I asked my mom how long ago her grandmother died—I was not even 10 years old and I do not remember her at all. We reflected on the passing of time, how it felt not so long ago when she was in my place with babies of her own, how suddenly and quickly her parents are aging, and soon she will be in my grandmother’s position.
Upon all of this reflection, I thought back to the struggle we went through when I was a child, how much time and life passed while my mom lived from penny to penny. Now, all of her children are grown and married, she lives in an apartment completely alone and she is still stuck struggling. Since moving into her apartment just 15 months ago, her rent has risen to a point she can no longer afford and this coming January, her job is closing the department in which she works. She has to start all over again—this time, not as a young mother, but as an aging grandmother and all alone.
When her job put her on four weeks of forced, unpaid furlough this summer, she was able to do some soul searching. She realized that all the pressure of juggling multiple jobs and fighting for food, kept her from doing something that really matters. She is now reaching out to business mentors and actively pursuing starting her own business. In addition to finding a new place to live, moving, and holding her through till she is able to get back on her feet, she is seeking to utilize her strengths. This campaign will help fund both her urgent needs, such as affording her rent, utilities and groceries, as well as paying off her debt and starting her own business.
I have spent as long as I can remember, watching my mother struggle to get food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. She needs a fresh start to help her get over the walls that have been holding her back. My heart hurts as I continue watching her struggle and sacrifice. I know she has so much life in her, but her joy is strangled by her struggle to survive. With your help, I know that we will be able to finally see my mom flourish.
We are so thankful for your support—you are providing life and hope!
Thank you,
Julianne Robbins
Eventually, we moved to California, to live with my mom’s parents. As a child, I saw everything through a child’s lens. I did not fully understand why we moved. There, I was able to grow up knowing my grandparents, but at the sacrifice of my mom’s independence—we three children shared a bedroom, my mom slept on the couch or on our bedroom floor. Moving in with her parents allowed more supervision for us, but she was no longer a full grownup, relinquishing much of her adult freedom. I remember when she came home after breaking her back. She fainted on the way from the car into the house because of the extreme pain from trying to walk with a broken back. The hospital sent her away after a severe concussion with a broken back and pelvis because we had no money and no health insurance.
Before breaking her back, she started going back to college to finally finish her degree, but after the concussion, she couldn’t even remember how to read. I sat with her, happily reading to her my elementary school books. She had to start over, relearning how to read and write from her little daughter.
When I was in high school, she was forced with starting over again. She was faced with picking up our family again and moving across the country for my sister’s health. All of us had to drop everything to move and start somewhere new, with no family nearby to help.
When I was pregnant with my own little one, I often cried, fearing I would turn into my mother. I was afraid of sacrificing my dreams, hard work and freedom. My husband helped me to see my situation is different, I am not a single parent faced with the dilemmas and extenuating circumstances at nearly every turn that kept her from achieving her goals.
A few weeks ago, my son turned one. With the invitations to his birthday, I sent self-addressed envelopes asking everyone to please write him a letter to open on his 18th birthday. My mom told me about the conversation she had with her mother after receiving their invitations. My grandmother is 85 and mentioned the strangeness of writing a letter that probably would not be read until after her death. After telling me about this, I asked my mom how long ago her grandmother died—I was not even 10 years old and I do not remember her at all. We reflected on the passing of time, how it felt not so long ago when she was in my place with babies of her own, how suddenly and quickly her parents are aging, and soon she will be in my grandmother’s position.
Upon all of this reflection, I thought back to the struggle we went through when I was a child, how much time and life passed while my mom lived from penny to penny. Now, all of her children are grown and married, she lives in an apartment completely alone and she is still stuck struggling. Since moving into her apartment just 15 months ago, her rent has risen to a point she can no longer afford and this coming January, her job is closing the department in which she works. She has to start all over again—this time, not as a young mother, but as an aging grandmother and all alone.
When her job put her on four weeks of forced, unpaid furlough this summer, she was able to do some soul searching. She realized that all the pressure of juggling multiple jobs and fighting for food, kept her from doing something that really matters. She is now reaching out to business mentors and actively pursuing starting her own business. In addition to finding a new place to live, moving, and holding her through till she is able to get back on her feet, she is seeking to utilize her strengths. This campaign will help fund both her urgent needs, such as affording her rent, utilities and groceries, as well as paying off her debt and starting her own business.
I have spent as long as I can remember, watching my mother struggle to get food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. She needs a fresh start to help her get over the walls that have been holding her back. My heart hurts as I continue watching her struggle and sacrifice. I know she has so much life in her, but her joy is strangled by her struggle to survive. With your help, I know that we will be able to finally see my mom flourish.
We are so thankful for your support—you are providing life and hope!
Thank you,
Julianne Robbins
Organizer and beneficiary
Julianne Robbins
Organizer
Smyrna, GA
Julie Casil
Beneficiary