Asking for help is hard

Hey everyone, I’m Eva.

A lot of you might know I’ve been having a really hard month. I wanted to reach out and explain my situation a bit better and why I am asking for your help.

I moved to Tucson a little over a year ago. I really just wanted to know the feeling of living alone and to be able to show my self I can do this. The first year was hard financially at first but it did get easier. It also got easier to make friends. I started to realize wow I can actually do this!

I was so focused on making sure the bills where paid, the dogs were fed, the plants had water, all the chores were done. Over preforming at work and for those around me, I was hurting myself and not even realizing it. All those minimal pressures I put on myself on a weekly basis were about to stop me dead in my tracks.

Crippling pain set in and I was stuck. I wasn’t taking care of my mind. I was disassociating from the red flags my body was trying to show me, and even worse I was disassociating from my positive thoughts. My nervous system began to malfunction, the anxiety and depression took over. I wanted to fix it all on my own. I thought if I just focused on me that eventually I would be happy. I had to realize that wasn’t going to happen. I needed help. I needed treatment because I was going down hill fast. I realized I can’t do this all on my own. My thoughts are not my own. The negative view I am seeing is not my own.

Sunday morning came along and I found myself feeling a little hopeful…and then just like that I sank so deep I found myself at the emergency room. In was in fear of my own life even though deep down I knew I was okay, I just couldn’t see me in all the darkness.

I am going into treatment asap, that is why I am asking for help. It’s not easy to open up to those around you, let alone ask for the help you know you deserve. I will be admitted as an out patient to a rehab treatment facility to begin my healing journey.

I am raising money to help cover some of my medical bills. Treatment should be my focus right now and financially that is going to be a struggle. I have to do this so I can get better, that is why I have to ask for help.

Only donate if you can, If all you can give is kind words and loving energy that is worth millions to me. Thank you for reading a little piece of my story. I love you all.