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INTRODUCTION
You may have applauded during the Olympics, and the U.S Open was loved by many. Here’s a completely different kind of competition you can cheer for: a race against time to find my biological father! I’m going overseas to look for him, not by paddle or by balloon, but by air! I’ll be doing it with my trusty sidekick, a licensed, Japanese private investigator who specializes in finding lost loved ones. This sounds like a T.V show, I know, but it’s true; I’m flying to Japan October 2nd to look for this long lost parent of mine, who moved back to Japan before I was born. We will see how things develop, but I’ve set a deadline for this fundraiser for October 25th.
I never was able to connect with him or my Japanese heritage. I want to find him before it’s too late. He’s roughly 65, and after spending many years wondering about him and looking for him, I decided to hire professional help to track him down. I have estimated $4200 in expenses, which includes two retainers for the PI, and other expenses, such as public transportation, car rental, gas and other minor incidentals arising from this search. Would you like to play a role in this odyssey of mine? I have started with only a few, measly clues and finding my dad has proven very difficult in times past. Now, with the help of the PI, things are looking much more hopeful.
Please see the latest developments below.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
Any offerings you can provide no matter how big or small would wholly be appreciated by this little heart of mine. I’m prepared to cover the costs of this search solely by myself, but many friends have expressed an interest in helping me. I thought this fundraiser would be a fun way for those of you who want to assist me in this quest. I know this is for something personal, but each and every word of encouragement and monetary contribution means so much to me. Your taking the time to share this fundraiser with a friend or to offer whatever you feel compelled to give, will boost my spirits and increase my chances of finding my father.
I leave for Tokyo October 2nd and return on Nov. 1st. I’ve begun paying for the PI now, and anything you find in your heart to share would help us.
THE BACKSTORY
In Portland, Oregon, many years ago a young woman named Sharon befriended a classmate who had participated in a foreign-exchange program to Japan. This friendship led Sharon to meet a man named Kenji Fujii, a business undergrad majoring in marketing. Kenji came from a very traditional family in Japan. I like to imagine what the United States felt like to him in those days, in a perpetually green, mountainous state. What did Kenji hope to gain while living in America? Did he wish to embrace American culture and a different lifestyle for himself? Were people welcoming? How did he feel as an outsider, and how did he handle it?
Kenji had lived in Portland over the course of 3 years, and it was during his final school year when he and Sharon began to date. I can only imagine what the times were like back then and what cultural shifts may have been taking place to push our society to a place in which an inter-racial relationship was accepted. The most prominent white and Japanese interracial couple that comes to my mind is Yoko Ono and John Lennon. Whatever it was that drew my mother and father together, at some point in the late fall I was conceived.
Kenji had to return to Japan when he finished his courses in December. It was after his departure that my mother learned that I was growing inside her. The weight of the variety of emotions that fell on her still stirs me. Kenji was thousands of miles away in a time without Internet, and the cost of international telephone calls was prohibitive. My mother largely bore the burden of motherhood herself, both literally and figuratively. As a young woman, with an uncertain future, the prospect of being an unmarried mother in a society that still frowned heavily on having children out of wedlock, must have been frightening, and I’m thankful she endured her heartaches.
When spring came, Kenji returned for his graduation ceremony. We believe he was 25 years old. He learned from his friends that she was pregnant. The timing of everything seemed to put a lot of pressure on their ability to talk about what they both wanted. Kenji’s feet were standing in two very different worlds, and he could only choose one of them. He informed my mom that his family had arranged a Japanese bride to marry him. So he had to make a decision between my mother and me or his family, his fiancé, his culture, his traditions, his inheritance, the promise of his future, and so on. Kenji offered to support my mother financially. She declined. Why? I suppose, largely out of fear she might lose me. No doubt, this was tough. They decided it best to part ways and not see each other again. Kenji moved back to Japan and they never spoke again.
I don’t blame Kenji for the choice he made or hold anything against him. I don't seek any retribution. They both were trying to do the best they knew how. As a result, I have never met my father, and the only picture I have is from his college yearbook.
ABOUT ME AND WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW:
One of my biggest concerns is losing my chance of ever knowing him and connecting with half of my family history, which is so foreign to me. There are a variety of reasons why I would value getting to know him. From a practical standpoint, I'd love to know any health related illnesses I may be more prone to. But I think my reasons for wanting to know him are more existential. Who are my ancestors, the roots from which half of me is constructed? What sorts of mysterious similarities do we share? Do I have siblings? Are there artistic traits or certain kinds of aesthetic predilections that I inherited? Of course there are all the obvious things I’d like to know as well from a cultural standpoint: the art, the language, the music, the food, the history of the Japanese people, all of which I could learn something about by meeting Kenji.
This longing for a deeper understanding of this part of my identity started from an early age. It was largely by intuition that I discovered I had a different father when I was 10 years old. At that age, I began to fear sharing this side of me with my friends who couldn’t understand it and it took me many years before I felt comfortable sharing with folks that I was half-Japanese.
Throughout my life as an adult, I’ve discussed my desire to find Kenji and after my own futile efforts in searching, I decided the best thing to do would be to just go and seek help there.
This is a risk I decided to take because it means a lot to me to find him. I hope my journey will encourage others to pursue their dreams and seek out what quests they have been setting aside. So far, the news I’ve received from the PI has caused a kind of emotional roller coaster as I move further and further away from the world of the unknown and into the world of the known. We’ve been able to discover that Kenji does in fact come from a prominent family who for many years owned a nationwide food chain. This is where we’ve been able to do the bulk of our investigating. Thankfully, there’s been an abundance of public records with which to match my father’s name to this family. These findings have led us to begin acquiring addresses of exact houses where Kenji and his relatives could live!
I have a lot of fears and fantasies about what could eventually happen. Will he be someone I like or interests me? Will he possess qualities that I may find enlightening? Will he be emotionally available or intelligent? Will we follow false leads? Will he even be alive? Will he think I’m trying to blackmail him? What’s the best way to approach him? These are questions I ponder as the reality of meeting him draws closer. However, I know I can’t let these hopes or fears distract from who I am already. I’m mentally prepared to not find him or be rejected. I know by now that I can remain calm in the face of things that are out of my control. I’m comforted knowing you, and that I have friends who love me, and my life is beautiful the way it is. On the bright side, Kenji may have been waiting for this moment my entire life. It’s impossible to know. There’s no playbook for this. As I move forward, I hope to keep you all updated and provide deeper details of our progress. You will be able to follow me Instagram here: Joshua_zer0
どうもありがとうございました
Dōmo arigatōgozaimashita
Thank you very much!
Joshua,
You may have applauded during the Olympics, and the U.S Open was loved by many. Here’s a completely different kind of competition you can cheer for: a race against time to find my biological father! I’m going overseas to look for him, not by paddle or by balloon, but by air! I’ll be doing it with my trusty sidekick, a licensed, Japanese private investigator who specializes in finding lost loved ones. This sounds like a T.V show, I know, but it’s true; I’m flying to Japan October 2nd to look for this long lost parent of mine, who moved back to Japan before I was born. We will see how things develop, but I’ve set a deadline for this fundraiser for October 25th.
I never was able to connect with him or my Japanese heritage. I want to find him before it’s too late. He’s roughly 65, and after spending many years wondering about him and looking for him, I decided to hire professional help to track him down. I have estimated $4200 in expenses, which includes two retainers for the PI, and other expenses, such as public transportation, car rental, gas and other minor incidentals arising from this search. Would you like to play a role in this odyssey of mine? I have started with only a few, measly clues and finding my dad has proven very difficult in times past. Now, with the help of the PI, things are looking much more hopeful.
Please see the latest developments below.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
Any offerings you can provide no matter how big or small would wholly be appreciated by this little heart of mine. I’m prepared to cover the costs of this search solely by myself, but many friends have expressed an interest in helping me. I thought this fundraiser would be a fun way for those of you who want to assist me in this quest. I know this is for something personal, but each and every word of encouragement and monetary contribution means so much to me. Your taking the time to share this fundraiser with a friend or to offer whatever you feel compelled to give, will boost my spirits and increase my chances of finding my father.
I leave for Tokyo October 2nd and return on Nov. 1st. I’ve begun paying for the PI now, and anything you find in your heart to share would help us.
THE BACKSTORY
In Portland, Oregon, many years ago a young woman named Sharon befriended a classmate who had participated in a foreign-exchange program to Japan. This friendship led Sharon to meet a man named Kenji Fujii, a business undergrad majoring in marketing. Kenji came from a very traditional family in Japan. I like to imagine what the United States felt like to him in those days, in a perpetually green, mountainous state. What did Kenji hope to gain while living in America? Did he wish to embrace American culture and a different lifestyle for himself? Were people welcoming? How did he feel as an outsider, and how did he handle it?
Kenji had lived in Portland over the course of 3 years, and it was during his final school year when he and Sharon began to date. I can only imagine what the times were like back then and what cultural shifts may have been taking place to push our society to a place in which an inter-racial relationship was accepted. The most prominent white and Japanese interracial couple that comes to my mind is Yoko Ono and John Lennon. Whatever it was that drew my mother and father together, at some point in the late fall I was conceived.
Kenji had to return to Japan when he finished his courses in December. It was after his departure that my mother learned that I was growing inside her. The weight of the variety of emotions that fell on her still stirs me. Kenji was thousands of miles away in a time without Internet, and the cost of international telephone calls was prohibitive. My mother largely bore the burden of motherhood herself, both literally and figuratively. As a young woman, with an uncertain future, the prospect of being an unmarried mother in a society that still frowned heavily on having children out of wedlock, must have been frightening, and I’m thankful she endured her heartaches.
When spring came, Kenji returned for his graduation ceremony. We believe he was 25 years old. He learned from his friends that she was pregnant. The timing of everything seemed to put a lot of pressure on their ability to talk about what they both wanted. Kenji’s feet were standing in two very different worlds, and he could only choose one of them. He informed my mom that his family had arranged a Japanese bride to marry him. So he had to make a decision between my mother and me or his family, his fiancé, his culture, his traditions, his inheritance, the promise of his future, and so on. Kenji offered to support my mother financially. She declined. Why? I suppose, largely out of fear she might lose me. No doubt, this was tough. They decided it best to part ways and not see each other again. Kenji moved back to Japan and they never spoke again.
I don’t blame Kenji for the choice he made or hold anything against him. I don't seek any retribution. They both were trying to do the best they knew how. As a result, I have never met my father, and the only picture I have is from his college yearbook.
ABOUT ME AND WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW:
One of my biggest concerns is losing my chance of ever knowing him and connecting with half of my family history, which is so foreign to me. There are a variety of reasons why I would value getting to know him. From a practical standpoint, I'd love to know any health related illnesses I may be more prone to. But I think my reasons for wanting to know him are more existential. Who are my ancestors, the roots from which half of me is constructed? What sorts of mysterious similarities do we share? Do I have siblings? Are there artistic traits or certain kinds of aesthetic predilections that I inherited? Of course there are all the obvious things I’d like to know as well from a cultural standpoint: the art, the language, the music, the food, the history of the Japanese people, all of which I could learn something about by meeting Kenji.
This longing for a deeper understanding of this part of my identity started from an early age. It was largely by intuition that I discovered I had a different father when I was 10 years old. At that age, I began to fear sharing this side of me with my friends who couldn’t understand it and it took me many years before I felt comfortable sharing with folks that I was half-Japanese.
Throughout my life as an adult, I’ve discussed my desire to find Kenji and after my own futile efforts in searching, I decided the best thing to do would be to just go and seek help there.
This is a risk I decided to take because it means a lot to me to find him. I hope my journey will encourage others to pursue their dreams and seek out what quests they have been setting aside. So far, the news I’ve received from the PI has caused a kind of emotional roller coaster as I move further and further away from the world of the unknown and into the world of the known. We’ve been able to discover that Kenji does in fact come from a prominent family who for many years owned a nationwide food chain. This is where we’ve been able to do the bulk of our investigating. Thankfully, there’s been an abundance of public records with which to match my father’s name to this family. These findings have led us to begin acquiring addresses of exact houses where Kenji and his relatives could live!
I have a lot of fears and fantasies about what could eventually happen. Will he be someone I like or interests me? Will he possess qualities that I may find enlightening? Will he be emotionally available or intelligent? Will we follow false leads? Will he even be alive? Will he think I’m trying to blackmail him? What’s the best way to approach him? These are questions I ponder as the reality of meeting him draws closer. However, I know I can’t let these hopes or fears distract from who I am already. I’m mentally prepared to not find him or be rejected. I know by now that I can remain calm in the face of things that are out of my control. I’m comforted knowing you, and that I have friends who love me, and my life is beautiful the way it is. On the bright side, Kenji may have been waiting for this moment my entire life. It’s impossible to know. There’s no playbook for this. As I move forward, I hope to keep you all updated and provide deeper details of our progress. You will be able to follow me Instagram here: Joshua_zer0
どうもありがとうございました
Dōmo arigatōgozaimashita
Thank you very much!
Joshua,