Jonathan Beck's Home - End of Life Expenses
Donation protected
On October 19, 2019, I found the love of my life, my fiancee and my best friend, Jonathan Beck, deceased by suicide.
Jon and I built a home together with my son, Xander. We were happy. Jon is the father by heart in my son's life. They played pool at the VFW on Tuesdays, went to the driving range on Fridays (man time!) and last week, Jon was teaching him to play chess.
Jon was a pure ray of light and love in so many lives. He always made sure that everyone was smiling and felt that they mattered. I know how much he loves me.
I'm struggling with his loss on every possible level. I know that his friends and family are as well. I joined a support group yesterday for spouse/partner survivors of suicide. I was reminded that there are many people that love Jon, and love us, that are looking for a way that they can help. I was told that I needed to let myself accept help and not be afraid to ask if I need it. This is incredibly difficult for me; I take care of people. But here I am at the suggestion of several people in my life.
I do not have any answers, and from what I am learning, most likely never will. Jon did not leave a message, and as far as we can see, made no preparation. I do not believe that this was planned in any way. Jon would never intentionally cause us pain. I do not know what happened, or what he was thinking during those last moments. This is something that I will struggle with for the rest of my life. What I do know is that he loved us very much.
He had a life insurance policy at work that he designated me as the beneficiary, but due to the nature of his passing and the age of the policy it will not pay out to me. We cannot access his accounts until the death certificate is complete, As we were not yet legally married, I have no rights.
I am taking a deep breath today and reaching out. If you would like to make a donation to this fund, it will go to paying for Jon's funeral home expenses. Whatever is left I will use to assist me with his accounts pertaining to our home. Thank you for your love and support. It means more to me that I can put into words right how.
Know that there are many people that love you, no matter how dark your day seems, or how loud the monsters in your head scream. Please reach out to someone, anyone. You are loved, and you are needed. The world will NOT be a better place without you.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
Jon and I built a home together with my son, Xander. We were happy. Jon is the father by heart in my son's life. They played pool at the VFW on Tuesdays, went to the driving range on Fridays (man time!) and last week, Jon was teaching him to play chess.
Jon was a pure ray of light and love in so many lives. He always made sure that everyone was smiling and felt that they mattered. I know how much he loves me.
I'm struggling with his loss on every possible level. I know that his friends and family are as well. I joined a support group yesterday for spouse/partner survivors of suicide. I was reminded that there are many people that love Jon, and love us, that are looking for a way that they can help. I was told that I needed to let myself accept help and not be afraid to ask if I need it. This is incredibly difficult for me; I take care of people. But here I am at the suggestion of several people in my life.
I do not have any answers, and from what I am learning, most likely never will. Jon did not leave a message, and as far as we can see, made no preparation. I do not believe that this was planned in any way. Jon would never intentionally cause us pain. I do not know what happened, or what he was thinking during those last moments. This is something that I will struggle with for the rest of my life. What I do know is that he loved us very much.
He had a life insurance policy at work that he designated me as the beneficiary, but due to the nature of his passing and the age of the policy it will not pay out to me. We cannot access his accounts until the death certificate is complete, As we were not yet legally married, I have no rights.
I am taking a deep breath today and reaching out. If you would like to make a donation to this fund, it will go to paying for Jon's funeral home expenses. Whatever is left I will use to assist me with his accounts pertaining to our home. Thank you for your love and support. It means more to me that I can put into words right how.
Know that there are many people that love you, no matter how dark your day seems, or how loud the monsters in your head scream. Please reach out to someone, anyone. You are loved, and you are needed. The world will NOT be a better place without you.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
Organizer
Michelle Rowell
Organizer
Waverly, IA