TLDR; I broke my right leg and had to have surgery. A plate and lots of screws later… I could really use your help.

What Actually Happened:

Hello, my name is John. I am really okay at lots of things, but apparently I am excellent at breaking my leg!

I mastered this skill in just one clumsy "oh-look-a-kitty" ADHD moment on July 1st at 8:10am, when I stepped out of the back of a U-Haul Truck and really stuck the 50 inch landing. My femur and knee applauded, but my tibia was really blown away-literally, multiple fractures and a meniscal tear.

My right leg won me a no-expenses-paid trip via ambulance to a terrible resort (the hospital). After waiting for 36 hours, I was treated to an “open reduction and internal fixation of the right bicondylar tibial plateau fracture and a right lateral meniscus repair” (surgery) on Sunday, July 2nd.

*Thanks to my great friend since 1st grade, Courtney Roper, for writing this and getting it set up for me while I have been mostly incapacitated. I do not have her clever wit and charm. And thanks to everybody who chooses to help me right now.