Johnny Rockard Coffin Campaign

The Penis Coffin Campaign Video Come join the party, you heretics, apostates, iconoclasts and hedonistic party lovers. Come, celebrate my death like no other death you will probably ever celebrate. The shock, irreverence and sheer frivolity of the occasion will be yours to make whatever you choose of it, as disgracefully as possible.

I care not a stuff for ceremonies, especially religious ones. So absolutely no prayers whatsoever shall be uttered. No mention of god or blessings. Just a truly and wonderfully anarchistic event of vicars and tarts suitably and scurrilously anti-dressed for the occasion.

As befits my life, in death I will rest (and probably burn in hell) in a penis shaped coffin, and this crowdfunding campaign is to raise at least £5000 for the coffin to be made and stored until the time of my demise arises.

Your contribution, no matter how small or large, will be a middle finger salute to tradition as people know it.

If all of this upsets or offends your ideological or theocratic outdated beliefs, then good. You will have a justifiable reason to contribute to this campaign just to see the back of me and send my carcass forth to eternal damnation, I am grateful as your contribution will be taken as donating 'just for the hell of it'.

If on the other hand, like myself you see the tongue-in-cheek hilarity of such a celebratory send-off, by contributing to this fund you are a part of history in the making. Because never before has anything like this been done, and equally I am grateful that you choose to be a part of this with me.

Together we will all form an important part of my forward journey and the planning which will bring the final celebration to fruition - not that I'm in any great hurry, mind you. A year, or two ahead, perhaps.

When the final target amount is reached the funds will be released to the company for the coffin to be made and stored.

Pretty much all that was needed to be said is in the video above, and there are two further videos on my YouTube channel.

There will be briefings and updates as the campaign progresses, as well as a dedicated Facebook group page, Twitter account, and further along I hope to introduce a very tongue-in-cheek blog entitled 'Death Door Diaries' which will consist of random thought snippets regarding my everyday life, the muppets I encounter in person and on social media, and anything else which springs to mind in the moment on an ad-hoc basis.

PLEASE NOTE -  There are media reports stating I have 'lung cancer.' This is entirely incorrect and misleading. I have stated that I have a chronic lung disease (COPD). This should in no way be interpreted as lung cancer because it isn't.

About death generally -

My blog 'Death Door Diaries' is now up and running at the following address -

It's nothing dark or macabre in any way. Just my humour and the occasional rant which diarises odds and sods in my life,  as and when they happen. Please follow my ramblings as I head further towards my goal of a penis shaped coffin.


Johnny Rockard

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