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When my sister and I look at a picture of our dad we see a man whom if we had to describe in one word it would be: successful. Not only in business but in life. In what he’s been given but more importantly what he’s given back. Successful in turning his life into something – despite the odds based on his childhood. Successful in having a loving, close-knit family even though he never saw what that looked like as a child. Supporting his 3 children to no end even though his only son has never been able to say a single word to him. Successful in community and friendship – through his involvement in numerous organizations even when it would have been easier to say he didn’t have the time or didn’t feel like it.
When YOU look at his picture you see the face of a man that has been through hell.
If you only SAW his picture, you would never believe his outlook on life and positivity. If you only HEARD his voice you would never believe the scars on his body or the number of medical treatments and procedures he has been through.
Our dad, John, has spent his life working as an independent financial planner. He has spent countless hours helping his clients prepare for their future and create their retirement nest egg. Being independent comes with its own risks – of not having your own 401K, affordable medical insurance plan and various other benefits that most people automatically receive from their employer. While this is a lot to give up, our dad thought it best for his clients. By being an independent agent he could truly offer the best advice and products for each individual client’s needs.
He has also spent years dedicating his time to causes near and dear to his heart.
Our dad and mom, Deb, have a son, Jeff, who suffers from severe mental impairment. As most dads, our dad envisioned a life playing ball, golfing and bonding with Jeff. While those dreams were not possible, John has still dedicated himself to Jeff by being an active member for years in Variety Club of Iowa, Mosaic Homes and Special Olympics.
He has given of himself in serving through the church, helping at-risk children learn to read and involvement through West Des Moines Rotary. He and Deb have also opened their home to several foreign exchange students and have always had an ‘open door’ policy to any of our friends.
In 2006 John was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma. What began as a lump in the side of his cheek quickly turned into multiple surgeries to remove re-occurring tumors from an aggressive cancer. In addition to the surgeries he received around 600 shots of radiation to the neck and face area and spent 2 1/2 hours a day for 30 days in the hyperbaric chamber.
The side effects from these treatments alone left his neck disfigured and caused severe burns to his throat, neck and mouth. But our dad continued his positive outlook, continued working and volunteering and knew he would beat this.
With tumors still recurring, the ‘final option’ for our dad took place in November 2006. The option was called The Radical and was offered only because of his great outlook on life and contagious positive attitude.
A grueling 17-hour surgery was performed in Iowa City by a team of the country’s most talented and educated doctors. Pieces of his body were used to replace cancer stricken pieces – ie., a shin bone for a new jaw, a pectoral muscle for a new neck, etc. By the time he was done he looked like a quilt, but he was alive.
A support group named ‘Johnny’s Walkers’ was formed to support John. They participated in a couple local 5k events, provided notes of encouragement during his radiation treatments, visits during recovery and ongoing prayers.
It is now 2016. John is alive but he is not well. Effects of cancer have taken a lot from him. His career, savings and his body have been destroyed – but not his will to live.
He has been seeking treatments in Omaha with their Oncology department. He suffers many problems from the aftermath of cancer – those that most don’t see or usually talk about. Of course he is happy to just be alive. That is the main purpose of all of this. There is NO ONE that could possibly go through all that he has been through otherwise. Most people wouldn’t have survived mentally or physically the toll cancer takes. He is alive because of his attitude and his will to live. He is not done.
Look at the picture of the man sitting in the car. He has just endured his 11th surgery. His legs show raw skin and scars of other patches from previous skin grafts. The latest was used for the inside of his mouth to recreate a space for a mouth with teeth. Blue devices hold the new skin so it adheres to his mouth. He cannot talk. He cannot swallow. He weighs less than 120 pounds.
We have never heard him complain. Never heard him question “why me”. Never heard a negative sentence from him as to how he looks, feels or of what’s to come.
We have heard only positivity and his mantra, which he once taught his daughters to help through a difficult time. Every day, multiple times, he repeats to himself: “Every day, in every way, I’m getting stronger and stronger”.
We believe this has saved him on more than one occasion. We hope it continues to work one more time.
While John & Deb would never dream of being ones to ask for help, we are asking of you now on their behalf.
Our mom is working part-time, is his care-giving and cheerleader and our family's glue. With the loss of John's practice, a deleted savings & retirement account and no end in sight for on-going medical bills (the Radical cost over $1 Million alone) and more treatments ahead, they could use your generosity and your help. We are asking you to please consider donating whatever you can to help our dad who has given so much. They need your help today!
Hugs from John & Deb’s children,
Andrea & Brian Maschka, Jeff Donald and
Lindsay & Scott Kaven
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Organizer and beneficiary
Deb Donald
Beneficiary