Joe's 30th Calls For A Sassy River Raft!
Donation protected
ATTENTION: ***THIS IS A SECRET AND WILL BE GIVEN AS A SURPRISE!***
This Go Fund Me is to celebrate our deeply cherished, Joe Sway Mckernan's 30th Birthday.
To be frank, I, Joe’s Partner have been sitting here for quite some time, and I am struggling to find what reasons will tug at all of your heart strings so you decide to make it rain capitalism all over Joe and their future.
Me telling you that Joe loves capitalism as a reason doesn’t feel like enough to get anyone on board.
So, I’ll have you know that Joe has wanted a river raft of their own for a while now. I like to think that my intuition knows at least one reason. When Joe is on a river with their people, I watch Joe sip on a special kind of healing. The healing that makes all of this surviving worth it for a moment. It is a perfect mixture between drunk laughter, heinous jokes, and the closeness that comes with exchanging stories both painful, and blissful with the people that have shown up again and again.
I think that maybe a raft solidifies something important to Joe; a permanent place on the river with the people that Joe calls home.
So, folks. I am asking that we throw down what we can by August 1st, in order to purchase a quality used raft and frame for Joe's 30th birthday.
I have no control over your “why” behind donating to this special gift that will fall into Joe’s hands. We’ve each held our own nuanced connections with Joe, maybe none of them created or nurtured on a river, but I will say that there are a few things Joe has done for all of us or someone we love. So if nothing else, pop over whatever feels feasible for the below reasons and we will be stepping closer to making Joe feel valued, cared for and cherished by their communities on their 30th birthday.
Reasons to for sure at least pop over something substantialish to get Joe a solid raft and frame:
(1) Joe has absolutely called you out on your bullshit, and has given you necessary feedback on how you could be less of an ass, and therefore you are now healthier and your relationships are less unwell.
(2) Joe has made you, AND your friends Joe Eggs.
(3)Joe has some how met one of these two basic needs without you asking or knowing it even happened:
- Refilled water or any beverage of sorts.
- Told you to eat because you were hangry, or gave you a well rounded snack before you got hangry.
(4) Joe hugged you, and you immediately started crying.
(5) Joe listened to you so well that everything just began to make sense.
To be clear, Joe would never ask you to pay them for any of these forms of care, but I am. With that, gratitude for supporting this gift will be actively shown through finding a day where we can all cram our bodies on to Joe's new raft at the local pool.
For further convincing: below are hot and sassy pictures of Joe living their best life on the river without their own raft with some: not all, of the most important people to ever happen. (Please notice that Joe is meeting refill needs in at least two photos)
Let's Get It!
With Love and Gratitude,
Madz
Photos By: Matthew Gilbertson
This Go Fund Me is to celebrate our deeply cherished, Joe Sway Mckernan's 30th Birthday.
To be frank, I, Joe’s Partner have been sitting here for quite some time, and I am struggling to find what reasons will tug at all of your heart strings so you decide to make it rain capitalism all over Joe and their future.
Me telling you that Joe loves capitalism as a reason doesn’t feel like enough to get anyone on board.
So, I’ll have you know that Joe has wanted a river raft of their own for a while now. I like to think that my intuition knows at least one reason. When Joe is on a river with their people, I watch Joe sip on a special kind of healing. The healing that makes all of this surviving worth it for a moment. It is a perfect mixture between drunk laughter, heinous jokes, and the closeness that comes with exchanging stories both painful, and blissful with the people that have shown up again and again.
I think that maybe a raft solidifies something important to Joe; a permanent place on the river with the people that Joe calls home.
So, folks. I am asking that we throw down what we can by August 1st, in order to purchase a quality used raft and frame for Joe's 30th birthday.
I have no control over your “why” behind donating to this special gift that will fall into Joe’s hands. We’ve each held our own nuanced connections with Joe, maybe none of them created or nurtured on a river, but I will say that there are a few things Joe has done for all of us or someone we love. So if nothing else, pop over whatever feels feasible for the below reasons and we will be stepping closer to making Joe feel valued, cared for and cherished by their communities on their 30th birthday.
Reasons to for sure at least pop over something substantialish to get Joe a solid raft and frame:
(1) Joe has absolutely called you out on your bullshit, and has given you necessary feedback on how you could be less of an ass, and therefore you are now healthier and your relationships are less unwell.
(2) Joe has made you, AND your friends Joe Eggs.
(3)Joe has some how met one of these two basic needs without you asking or knowing it even happened:
- Refilled water or any beverage of sorts.
- Told you to eat because you were hangry, or gave you a well rounded snack before you got hangry.
(4) Joe hugged you, and you immediately started crying.
(5) Joe listened to you so well that everything just began to make sense.
To be clear, Joe would never ask you to pay them for any of these forms of care, but I am. With that, gratitude for supporting this gift will be actively shown through finding a day where we can all cram our bodies on to Joe's new raft at the local pool.
For further convincing: below are hot and sassy pictures of Joe living their best life on the river without their own raft with some: not all, of the most important people to ever happen. (Please notice that Joe is meeting refill needs in at least two photos)
Let's Get It!
With Love and Gratitude,
Madz
Photos By: Matthew Gilbertson
Organizer and beneficiary
Madz Wright
Organizer
Portland, OR
Joesph Mckernan
Beneficiary