Classical Ballet Intensive Course
Donation protected
Five years ago I felt forced to close a very important chapter of my life. The choice to step away from the ballet world seemed, at the time, like the right decision. No one seemed interested in what I had to offer and I had just lost my very first professional job. The initial months were incredibly difficult for me but why wouldn’t they be? I had been dancing since the age of 2.5 and never once dreamt of becoming a veterinarian, a school teacher, a concert pianist or a successful lawyer. I always wanted to be a ballet dancer. So naturally this was something that was going to take time to adjust to.
The first year passed, then the second…then the third. I attended weekly open ballet classes in the city to stay in shape but even after all that time, I couldn’t get through plies with out choking on my tears. It was then I decided I needed to remove myself completely. So I did.
Flash forward to November of 2016. I was on the train, headed to school when I saw for the first time a ballet school. Right there on the other side of the train tracks. How could I not have seen that before? I took the train every day and this was the first time I’d ever noticed it. I jotted down the name and that afternoon I did a little internet-scoping.
The school offered courses in very technical classical ballet and for a moment I thought maybe that would be something I’d enjoy doing on my days off but I had to put it out of my mind. I was still dealing with so much heartache and my wounds were just starting to heal, or so it seemed. I couldn’t re-open those sores.
But I couldn’t get the images of that school out of my mind…
So I emailed the director/owner of the school and she warmly welcomed me to come take a class. I remember preparing my bag that morning. Unwrapping my tangled pointe shoe ribbons, trying to mend the holes in my ballet tights, finding a leotard that would be the most flattering (I’d lost a little of my classic ballet lines). I was so nervous. I remember taking hold of the barre and just shaking. Somehow I made it through that class and I don’t remember much except for the girls I met and the warm embrace of the director. I continued to come back. Around December of this year I came to her with a question I’d been too scared to ask. “Do you think I could dance professionally again? Am I too old?”. I’ve never asked this question to anyone, and I hadn’t even said it to myself out-loud, but she understood me. Better than any mentor I’ve ever had and I felt comfortable. Her response was very simple. “We won’t know the answer to that until you try. If this is something you want to go for, I’m here to help you.” It was that simple.
Flash forward again to two weeks ago. I was gathering my things after class and I felt a little tap on my shoulder. It was one of the young students from the elementary levels. She looked up at me with big doe eyes and said, “I heard you are a real ballerina.” I didn’t really know what to say so I just kind of stared. Someone immediately jumped in and said, “Yes! She is.” Not wanting to lead ANYONE on I quickly said, “Well, I danced professionally. But that was a little while ago. Mostly I just love ballet, a lot.” And to that she replied, “I love ballet a lot too. It’s hard. But I someday I’d like to go to America and be a ballerina.” I smiled, choked back the lump in my throat and said to her, “Professional or not. Once a ballerina, always a ballerina. No one can take that away from you.” I had NO idea where those words came from, but they leapt out of my mouth involuntarily and it wasn’t until I was alone on my drive home that I realized I had said those words because I needed to hear them. Not her. Though I hope she remembers them. I let one person’s opinion of me 5 years ago rob me of who I was and everything I’d worked for. Very unlike me, but true love makes us blind and I was (and am) truly in love with ballet.
Flash forward…AGAIN..to…now! It’s April 24, 2018 and I’m sitting in a coffee shop, listening to the La La Land soundtrack. And in one month and two days I will step on a stage again for the first time in over five years. Somewhere between that first class and now, my heart began to heal again. I discovered..or maybe rediscovered something about myself that I absolutely needed to be reminded of. You can take the girl out of the ballet but you can’t take the ballet out of the girl.
As part of my pursuit to re-enter the ballet world, I not only have to prepare mentally but I have to prepare physically. Which leads me to my latest bit of news. I am happy to announce that I’ve been accepted to take part in a two week intensive course here in Italy. Five hours of classes a day in the most thorough and traditional technical method classical ballet has to offer. I’ve been working tirelessly over the last five months to prepare my company audition video footage and this course will be a chance to get some amazing one-on-one attention before I finish everything and put myself out there. I have a goal to earn $1,000 and that should help cover my tuition and some of the extra expenses (travel, pointe shoes, uniform requirements). Any help is appreciated! That being said, I cannot thank you all enough already for your overwhelmingly kind words and gestures of love and encouragement.
xoxo
The first year passed, then the second…then the third. I attended weekly open ballet classes in the city to stay in shape but even after all that time, I couldn’t get through plies with out choking on my tears. It was then I decided I needed to remove myself completely. So I did.
Flash forward to November of 2016. I was on the train, headed to school when I saw for the first time a ballet school. Right there on the other side of the train tracks. How could I not have seen that before? I took the train every day and this was the first time I’d ever noticed it. I jotted down the name and that afternoon I did a little internet-scoping.
The school offered courses in very technical classical ballet and for a moment I thought maybe that would be something I’d enjoy doing on my days off but I had to put it out of my mind. I was still dealing with so much heartache and my wounds were just starting to heal, or so it seemed. I couldn’t re-open those sores.
But I couldn’t get the images of that school out of my mind…
So I emailed the director/owner of the school and she warmly welcomed me to come take a class. I remember preparing my bag that morning. Unwrapping my tangled pointe shoe ribbons, trying to mend the holes in my ballet tights, finding a leotard that would be the most flattering (I’d lost a little of my classic ballet lines). I was so nervous. I remember taking hold of the barre and just shaking. Somehow I made it through that class and I don’t remember much except for the girls I met and the warm embrace of the director. I continued to come back. Around December of this year I came to her with a question I’d been too scared to ask. “Do you think I could dance professionally again? Am I too old?”. I’ve never asked this question to anyone, and I hadn’t even said it to myself out-loud, but she understood me. Better than any mentor I’ve ever had and I felt comfortable. Her response was very simple. “We won’t know the answer to that until you try. If this is something you want to go for, I’m here to help you.” It was that simple.
Flash forward again to two weeks ago. I was gathering my things after class and I felt a little tap on my shoulder. It was one of the young students from the elementary levels. She looked up at me with big doe eyes and said, “I heard you are a real ballerina.” I didn’t really know what to say so I just kind of stared. Someone immediately jumped in and said, “Yes! She is.” Not wanting to lead ANYONE on I quickly said, “Well, I danced professionally. But that was a little while ago. Mostly I just love ballet, a lot.” And to that she replied, “I love ballet a lot too. It’s hard. But I someday I’d like to go to America and be a ballerina.” I smiled, choked back the lump in my throat and said to her, “Professional or not. Once a ballerina, always a ballerina. No one can take that away from you.” I had NO idea where those words came from, but they leapt out of my mouth involuntarily and it wasn’t until I was alone on my drive home that I realized I had said those words because I needed to hear them. Not her. Though I hope she remembers them. I let one person’s opinion of me 5 years ago rob me of who I was and everything I’d worked for. Very unlike me, but true love makes us blind and I was (and am) truly in love with ballet.
Flash forward…AGAIN..to…now! It’s April 24, 2018 and I’m sitting in a coffee shop, listening to the La La Land soundtrack. And in one month and two days I will step on a stage again for the first time in over five years. Somewhere between that first class and now, my heart began to heal again. I discovered..or maybe rediscovered something about myself that I absolutely needed to be reminded of. You can take the girl out of the ballet but you can’t take the ballet out of the girl.
As part of my pursuit to re-enter the ballet world, I not only have to prepare mentally but I have to prepare physically. Which leads me to my latest bit of news. I am happy to announce that I’ve been accepted to take part in a two week intensive course here in Italy. Five hours of classes a day in the most thorough and traditional technical method classical ballet has to offer. I’ve been working tirelessly over the last five months to prepare my company audition video footage and this course will be a chance to get some amazing one-on-one attention before I finish everything and put myself out there. I have a goal to earn $1,000 and that should help cover my tuition and some of the extra expenses (travel, pointe shoes, uniform requirements). Any help is appreciated! That being said, I cannot thank you all enough already for your overwhelmingly kind words and gestures of love and encouragement.
xoxo
Organizer
Joelle Rane
Organizer
New York, NY