Jobless with ADHD, panic attacks and suicidal ideation

Hi, my name's Dean and I live in Manchester.

I had to leave my job this month because my ADHD and mental health have been so egregious, that it impacted my productivity severely. There was no other way out of the situation - we tried to look at all other avenues.

I'm currently only at the beginning of my journey with exploring therapies and medication for ADHD. I've undergone some tests due to my diabetes, so they can see if stimulant medication might be viable, but I've not been given a timescale or a plan yet. Given the wait I had to endure before my formal diagnosis, I can only hope I get something within this year.

I have no savings. I'm tied into a tenancy until April 2026. I have DJ gigs with a club night I run, but they're not regular and the takings from them after addressing all costs aren't even enough to cover half my rent, let alone bills and food. I'm battling every day with low self-worth and extreme thoughts of how I could make it so I'm no longer here anymore.

I'm applying for jobs every day, and my sincere hope is that I get a job offer ASAP which means I can cancel this campaign before it's had time to even grow, but in the interim I'm genuinely scared and desperate. I don't want to be a burden on anybody, and it took me hours of agonising over whether to even start this fundraiser (I'm not looking to run away on holiday with the money or go on a bender, I just need to make sure I can keep a roof over my head).

While I know reaching out and asking for help is something we expect any of our friends or family to do, I'm not someone that does it myself easily. Any and all help, I can't put into words just how grateful I am for it.