#jimsmental suicide prevention mentalhealth

Hello and welcome to my Go Fund Me page. My name is Jim. I’m 45, from Bristol. This is my story:

After managing to hold down a job while sofa surfing for the last six months of 2022 I finally found myself homeless on Christmas Eve. Having exhausted all my options I had no one to turn to and nowhere to go. Despite working it was impossible to put a roof over my head. Even if I could afford a deposit, agency fees and six weeks rent up front, the ongoing rental payments, coupled with the cost of living, would still have been more than I took home. I was in an impossible situation.

Back in November 2022 I was reported as a missing person for two weeks and made an attempt to take my own life - which I’m very glad now to say I failed at. But I tried to get help regarding my mental health and the doctors all said the same thing: Here’s some tablets and a six-month waiting list. On my most recent attempt to contact a doctor I was not even able to get through to make an appointment. The system is broken through underfunding. It is not working.

So what do I do about my situation and the loop I’m stuck in? Well, I spent my last £300 on camping and hiking equipment and on Sunday January 8th I will undertake the biggest challenge of my life. I will be heading to Bridgewater to pick up the Somerset coastal path and will walk the coastline of England and Wales - which will take over a year - in all weather conditions, embracing whatever the world throws at me. This will be the hardest thing I will ever do I but through determination, support and help from family, friends and the general public, I can do this.

I will be video-blogging my daily journey through both the good times and the bad, the ups and the downs. I will use my social media as a platform and also keep a record in my diary. I want to help others and raise awareness for people who have also been to the depths of hell. I having nothing to lose.

Having quit my job to do this I am left with no source of income. To that end I’m hoping to sell my car (the only thing I own) for around £700, which will keep me going for a few months. I will still need to pay my monthly mobile bill and feed myself - and I will likely find I need money for accommodation, whether that be for pitch fees or a dorm in a hostel.

I'm hoping people will help and join me on my venture. If someone can give me a bed for the night, a meal, a coffee or even just join me for a walk, I will muchly appreciate it. Any small donation or help will be greatly received. Periodically I will need to dip into the funds raised through this Go Fund Me page but all the money remaining when I finally get back to Bristol will go to Suicide Prevention UK.

I am a man on a mission. I’ve got this. I want to make my kids proud of me. I don't want to die anymore. Peace and love. Thank-you. Jim x

January 2023

If any charities or sponsors would like to get involved my socials are:

Facebook Jim McIlwain

[email redacted]

UPDATE. Saturday June 10th.

My original plan when I reached Scotland was to follow the English border from east to west and begin my southbound journey down the English west coast to Wales. But about a month ago, when I actually reached the border, I just kept going. Entering Scotland was an amazing feeling of achievement. I could barely believe I’d walked that far! And now I have covered Edinburgh, Dundee, Aberdeen, Inverness, Glasgow, Lanark, Saltcoats, Largs and the Isle of Cumbrae. I also scaled Ben Nevis which was a massive accomplishment for me, and something I thought, in my previous life, I would never get the opportunity to do.

From Sunday June 11th I will continue my hike from Gretna Green, back into England and then on to Wales. This journey has been transformational for me. I have not only been on a physical journey but a mental one too. The homeless bloke from Bristol who set off into the unknown on January 8th was broken by circumstance but I am now a different person. Covering hundreds of miles alone gives a man time to think and examine his life and where it all went wrong. About two weeks into my journey I gave up alcohol and that too has allowed me to see clearly. From being homeless and devoid of hope I now have big ideas for my future. I’d love to live in a van full-time and set up something to help people who have also suffered from suicidal thoughts and tendencies because, as I have discovered over these last six months, there is an alternative and it is a much better place to be! You just have to find it and I want to help you with that.

As stated above, dipping into the funds raised through this page has been unavoidable. I am frugal however and, thanks to your generosity, it looks very much as if I should reach my £5,000 target to donate to Suicide Prevention UK when this journey reaches its conclusion.

I have met some amazing people along this journey and will no doubt meet more. My faith in humanity has been restored. I’d like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart. Follow me on Facebook and join me for a walk sometime. I’d love to see you.

Jim x