For the last 30 years, I have lived life with Cerebral Palsy, and while this has come with its fair share of challenges, it has been nothing compared to the severely dislocated, and essentially shattered left hip I’ve had to contend with for the last 19. Having CP, you kind of get used to various minor pains. You accept them to be the norm. You grit your teeth, and you move on. However, there is no getting used to the kind of pain associated with having the type of long-standing hip injury that I endured. You can’t truly get used to pinching your sciatic nerve dozens of times every day, or the feeling that the opportunity for you to feel “normal” again is slipping away. You don’t get used to the fear that you’re one wrong move (or fall) away from disaster.

The same can be said of being rejected by dozens of doctors who deem you unworthy of fixing. All you can do is try to prepare for hearing the word “No” again. However, there is no preparation for hearing the word “YES”. About a week ago I heard that word for the first time. After fighting for this surgery since I was 11 years old, refusing many surgeon’s offers to just “cut the leg off and be done with it”, it is finally happening. In the second week of April, I will be undergoing a major surgery to completely replace my left hip. This is very exciting news, but it is also very sudden and unexpected for me. The surgery will be very complex, and I will require a long time to fully recover.

This recovery will include countless hours of physical therapy. However, I only get 12 sessions through my insurance. Additionally, this surgery also requires me to purchase a new manual wheelchair that is fitted to my new hip alignment, a shoe lift, and a specialized walker to help me get used to and rehab the new joint.  None of these things will be covered by my insurance and are very costly.

Through all of this, struggling with pain, being rejected by doctor after doctor, watching my body deteriorate over the years from this injury, I have maintained that I was worth fixing. Now, I’m hoping that those who agree will be willing to help me make it through this incredibly difficult period.

After I complete this surgery, I will regain much of the mobility I have lost over the years. If everything goes to plan, I will be pain free for the first time since I can remember. I will also likely be able to transition back to using a walker for a considerable amount of my daily activities. While I won’t ever walk completely independently, being able to use my walker again means everything to me and opens up a whole new world of possibilities and removes many of the everyday barriers I face as a wheelchair user. I am beyond excited / scared / worried, but this is my chance to FINALLY do something about it. In the wise words of Lin-Manuel Miranda “ I’m not throwing away my shot”.