Jill Fernandez's Cancer Recovery Fund
Donation protected
2020 was a challenging year for most of us with all the changes, sacrifices, separation borne from the pandemic. Now 2021 has brought my best friend Jill, who is a single Mother of three children ages 10, 14 and 22, a devastating medical diagnosis. As much as safely social distancing allowed, I witnessed her health swiftly decline over several months. I knew something was wrong when she sought medical care during late summer - like many of us she does not go to the doctor often (for financial reasons but also warranted distrust). Jill is the most fiercely independent woman I know and rarely asks for help so I knew something was *seriously* wrong when Jill reached out and directly asked for support around the holidays because she was so ill. Jill was unable to decorate the Christmas tree with her children, wrap their gifts or even prepare a meal. I had not seen her in person for a couple months b/c of Covid19 precautions, so when I arrived at her home it was striking how much weight she had lost, as well as her level of extreme physical weakness and exhaustion.
On January 15th I accompanied Jill to an appointment for a CT scan. After drinking the contrasting liquid and waiting the instructed time, Jill went back inside the medical building but soon came out visibly distraught and said we needed to go to the hospital emergency room immediately. After a few frantic phone calls to make sure her two youngest children would be taken care of for the next few days, I drove her to the hospital. We both assumed emergency surgery would be the immediate course of action: since I last saw Jill on Christmas Eve her abdomen became so distended that she looked 9 months pregnant.
Emergency surgery was scheduled and then immediately postponed because bloodwork came back and the doctors were concerned with the severity of Jill’s malnourishment-intense nausea and digestive issues had plagued her for months and she was only able to keep down little if any food the previous several weeks. The doctors also wanted to remove what they thought was 2 liters of fluid build-up in her abdominal area (it was 4 liters), needed to find a gynecological oncologist for the surgical team (there are few in CT), and research a rare genetic blood disorder that Jill was diagnosed with earlier that week by the doctor who finally ordered diagnostic tests. Jill was immediately put on intravenous nourishment, medication was administered for the excruciating pain, she received a blood transfusion and her family and close friends were contacted.
The doctors deduced immediately that it was ovarian cancer and later tests showed that the tumor had punctured Jill’s lower bowel. They also suspected that the cancer had spread to her liver and/or lungs and likely the peritoneum (the lining that covers the abdominal organs). The surgical team waited 5 days to perform surgery so that she could increase her strength and lower her risk: Jill was told by the surgeon she would need a miracle to survive surgery. Against all odds Jill survived the surgery but it was extensive: 6 pounds of cancerous tumor was removed along with her appendix and 25% of her bowel. They also performed a complete hysterectomy. A pathology report later produced a definitive diagnosis: stage 4b ovarian cancer caused by a squamous cell carcinoma from a teratoma: this type of ovarian cancer is so rare (only 1% of people diagnosed with ovarian cancer have had this diagnosis) that there is no chemotherapy protocol. For those of you reading who are unfamiliar with medical jargon describing cancer: type 4b means that the cancer has spread beyond the organ from which it originated (metastasized), it is the most advanced type of cancer, it is a terminal diagnosis. If a person decides to try chemotherapy with the type of cancer Jill has at stage 4b, treatment centers on prolonging their life by a year or so.
What is the most heart-breaking and infuriating part of this already deeply tragic situation is that Jill knew months ago that she was sick and sought medical care. What she received instead of compassionate care was a complete dismissal of her concerns and litany of symptoms. When Jill told the doctor she saw in August, “I’m pretty sure I have cancer” he literally laughed her off, told her to take over the counter heartburn medicine and congratulated her on her 40 pound weight loss (which was unintentional and over a short period of time). In her own words: “By September I was sleeping constantly. By November I could barely eat. By December I was convinced I was dying (I was right) and I was bed-ridden”
My educated guess is that he looked at Jill, an overweight woman, and made assumptions based on harmful stereotypes. He assumed she was exaggerating and being overly dramatic and given that she was overweight she should be happy about the weight loss instead of listing it as a symptom. Had that doctor looked at Jill with dignity and listened to her with respect, he would have ordered a routine diagnostic test like a CT scan and some bloodwork and the cancer would have been found 6 months sooner and her prognosis not as dire. Had that doctor looked at Jill with dignity and listened to her with respect, three children wouldn’t very likely be losing their mother way too soon in their young lives and I wouldn’t be losing my best friend.
Not only is the cancer emotionally and physically devastating, it is financially catastrophic as well. If we had “Medicaid for All” Jill’s time and energy could be spent solely on treatment and recovery so she can be here for a long time to come for her children. Even with health insurance partially paid by her employer, Jill currently owes $5,000 and spent ALL her savings paying her deductible. Yes, Jill miraculously survived the major surgery, but she has not even started the 6 rounds of chemotherapy yet (so those bills are on the horizon). Further, while she is grateful to receive 6 weeks of short term disability (which covers 60% of her regular salary), the oncologist and surgeon believe it’s imperative given the severity of her condition that she not return to work for a minimum of 16 weeks, with the caveat that she likely will not be well enough to return to work at all. This leaves at least 10 weeks of treatment for which she will have NO income and will continue to be financially responsible for her two youngest children. This financial nightmare is a direct result of our broken system. Behind all the political arguments and bureaucracy are real humans who love and are loved, trying to figure out how to afford treatment for medical conditions and keep themselves and their children housed and fed: this should NEVER be an either/or decision, but for countless families tragically this is precisely the case. Please help me ensure that Jill can focus on healing without worrying about how to meet her children’s basic needs and without being denied the cancer treatment because she has unpaid medical bills.
Thank you so much for your support. Sharing Jill's cancer recovery fundraiser is encouraged and greatly appreciated
On January 15th I accompanied Jill to an appointment for a CT scan. After drinking the contrasting liquid and waiting the instructed time, Jill went back inside the medical building but soon came out visibly distraught and said we needed to go to the hospital emergency room immediately. After a few frantic phone calls to make sure her two youngest children would be taken care of for the next few days, I drove her to the hospital. We both assumed emergency surgery would be the immediate course of action: since I last saw Jill on Christmas Eve her abdomen became so distended that she looked 9 months pregnant.
Emergency surgery was scheduled and then immediately postponed because bloodwork came back and the doctors were concerned with the severity of Jill’s malnourishment-intense nausea and digestive issues had plagued her for months and she was only able to keep down little if any food the previous several weeks. The doctors also wanted to remove what they thought was 2 liters of fluid build-up in her abdominal area (it was 4 liters), needed to find a gynecological oncologist for the surgical team (there are few in CT), and research a rare genetic blood disorder that Jill was diagnosed with earlier that week by the doctor who finally ordered diagnostic tests. Jill was immediately put on intravenous nourishment, medication was administered for the excruciating pain, she received a blood transfusion and her family and close friends were contacted.
The doctors deduced immediately that it was ovarian cancer and later tests showed that the tumor had punctured Jill’s lower bowel. They also suspected that the cancer had spread to her liver and/or lungs and likely the peritoneum (the lining that covers the abdominal organs). The surgical team waited 5 days to perform surgery so that she could increase her strength and lower her risk: Jill was told by the surgeon she would need a miracle to survive surgery. Against all odds Jill survived the surgery but it was extensive: 6 pounds of cancerous tumor was removed along with her appendix and 25% of her bowel. They also performed a complete hysterectomy. A pathology report later produced a definitive diagnosis: stage 4b ovarian cancer caused by a squamous cell carcinoma from a teratoma: this type of ovarian cancer is so rare (only 1% of people diagnosed with ovarian cancer have had this diagnosis) that there is no chemotherapy protocol. For those of you reading who are unfamiliar with medical jargon describing cancer: type 4b means that the cancer has spread beyond the organ from which it originated (metastasized), it is the most advanced type of cancer, it is a terminal diagnosis. If a person decides to try chemotherapy with the type of cancer Jill has at stage 4b, treatment centers on prolonging their life by a year or so.
What is the most heart-breaking and infuriating part of this already deeply tragic situation is that Jill knew months ago that she was sick and sought medical care. What she received instead of compassionate care was a complete dismissal of her concerns and litany of symptoms. When Jill told the doctor she saw in August, “I’m pretty sure I have cancer” he literally laughed her off, told her to take over the counter heartburn medicine and congratulated her on her 40 pound weight loss (which was unintentional and over a short period of time). In her own words: “By September I was sleeping constantly. By November I could barely eat. By December I was convinced I was dying (I was right) and I was bed-ridden”
My educated guess is that he looked at Jill, an overweight woman, and made assumptions based on harmful stereotypes. He assumed she was exaggerating and being overly dramatic and given that she was overweight she should be happy about the weight loss instead of listing it as a symptom. Had that doctor looked at Jill with dignity and listened to her with respect, he would have ordered a routine diagnostic test like a CT scan and some bloodwork and the cancer would have been found 6 months sooner and her prognosis not as dire. Had that doctor looked at Jill with dignity and listened to her with respect, three children wouldn’t very likely be losing their mother way too soon in their young lives and I wouldn’t be losing my best friend.
Not only is the cancer emotionally and physically devastating, it is financially catastrophic as well. If we had “Medicaid for All” Jill’s time and energy could be spent solely on treatment and recovery so she can be here for a long time to come for her children. Even with health insurance partially paid by her employer, Jill currently owes $5,000 and spent ALL her savings paying her deductible. Yes, Jill miraculously survived the major surgery, but she has not even started the 6 rounds of chemotherapy yet (so those bills are on the horizon). Further, while she is grateful to receive 6 weeks of short term disability (which covers 60% of her regular salary), the oncologist and surgeon believe it’s imperative given the severity of her condition that she not return to work for a minimum of 16 weeks, with the caveat that she likely will not be well enough to return to work at all. This leaves at least 10 weeks of treatment for which she will have NO income and will continue to be financially responsible for her two youngest children. This financial nightmare is a direct result of our broken system. Behind all the political arguments and bureaucracy are real humans who love and are loved, trying to figure out how to afford treatment for medical conditions and keep themselves and their children housed and fed: this should NEVER be an either/or decision, but for countless families tragically this is precisely the case. Please help me ensure that Jill can focus on healing without worrying about how to meet her children’s basic needs and without being denied the cancer treatment because she has unpaid medical bills.
Thank you so much for your support. Sharing Jill's cancer recovery fundraiser is encouraged and greatly appreciated
Organizer
Karen Grossi
Organizer
New Haven, CT