Jenk's Fund Scholarship a Mason Jenkins memorial.

Colors are sharper and muted. Sounds are muffled and amplified at the same time. Time passes differently. Everything seems significant…and meaningless at the same time. The decisions I’ve had to make since it happened would have been impossible on a good day…but I can’t. I just can’t.

I have to.

My brain, my spirit and my body are in a battle to stay grounded and do whatever I can to escape the emotional and physical manifestations of pain.

This is the day I dreaded. The day I warned him about in every way I could summon...

and prayed would never happen...

and a choice by my brilliant, beautiful, bull headed, big hearted goon of an 18 year old son...a choice that cannot be taken back, that I'll find the words to talk about in time, but simply cannot now...a choice that he is not here to witness...a choice that leaves me wondering how we will ever get through this and feel anything ever again.

We buried my baby boy today.

Mason was the kid who looked out for kids who were bullied, lonely and left out. He was a hockey kid and was a tough guy...a Goon...on the ice.

He had the physical and mental strength to do what was needed for his team. He spent a fair amount of time in the penalty box...as Forwards do.

His heart was in everything he did...every interaction he had. Off the ice, his huge smile and bright eyes with loads of mischief in them made his presence fill a room. When he walked in, you knew it, and everyone was happier, safer, stronger and more fun when our guy was there.

He used his relationships and "social collateral" to benefit those who struggled. He could cheer you up, make space for you at the table, listen to the dark stuff and talk you through it, and he was present for those he loved. Really present.

We were not prepared emotionally, or financially, to bury our child. We were incredibly blessed to receive generous funding from the Joshua Chamberlain Society to help pay for his funeral, burial and grave marker.

We would like to pay that forward and have decided to create the Jenk's Fund Scholarship at Orchard Farm School District. Our goal is to create something that uses the impact of his life and death to provide funding to one of Mason's classmates that he would have graduated with this Spring. Our hope is to provide this funding for many years to come, as well. Special events and other opportunities to raise funds will be held by Jenk's Fund in the future, but we want to get this going now so we can make something beautiful out of this devastation right now.

We know that there are many bright students who cannot attend college or trade school because there are a lot of expenses that aren't included in merit scholarships. Donations to this GoFundMe will be used exclusively for scholarships for students whose families would struggle to purchase books, outfit a dorm room, purchase school supplies and cover other unexpected costs.

He brought the same determination he had on the ice to caring for others. We would like to invite you to join us in doing the same.

Welcome to Jenk's Fund! Let's do this!

(This Go Fund Me is created and written in my voice by Susie Pundmann, a friend who will be managing this with me along with Mason's family. I am involved in every step - from deciding that this was something we wanted to do, to talking through possibilities and drafting our story, to taking this live. I will be the sole individual managing the funds while we get things formalized with establishing the first scholarship.)