She migrated in this area in 2013 her first stop was Wilmington North Carolina with her two cats and a car full of luggage. After that she relocated to Calabash North Carolina for a caregiver's job for terminally ill patient.
She lived there for a year. Shortlly after that she moved into Captain Andy's Campground in Calabash North Carolina. She stayed there on the deposit that she had when she lived with the terminally ill person whom she cared for by then she was down to one cat the other one was lost.
After her funds ran out at Captain Andy's she met one of my friends she stayed with him for about a week and then finally migrated to Little River where she stayed with one of my other friends across the street..
After that she moved in with me and when I found out her story she earned all respect from me because no matter what happened with her fight to migrate in this area she stayed and she roughed it out.
I will only give you small details to try to give you the impact that we both went through... Some of the things I cannot explain because of the horror behind it...
Our story began in june 2017... Jeanette came to me and said she was having problems with her side hurting on the right and she was also having problems urinating.. she went to the doctors and they ordered a CAT scan and MRI on her right kidney.. the MRI showed that her right kidney had shrunk 30% due to a blood clot.. so they scheduled her for surgery at facility number one… I'm going to number the facilities because she was in five separate facilities within a seven-month span.
In June of 2017, she got her first surgery done they removed the blood clot and they put a stent in her right artery going to her right kidney… she did well for about a week after the second week she started having complications she started swelling up at the joints her elbows her wrists and her feet….
So the hospital had to admit her to have further surgery this time she had four more stents and a double bypass in her right leg.. this is when the hell started…
She immediately started having complications due to the loss of blood because she had O negative type blood and I believe that this facility did not have enough on hold for her because they had to order it from Florida…
during this time waiting for blood they kept her secluded in a far part of the hospital under 24-hour guard where nobody else was because she was screaming and going through rages of anger she was hallucinating she didn't know who she was. She was talking to people that weren't there. I watched this for almost a week. This is what happens to people going through dialysis with poisons in their blood while she was internally bleeding.
She was internally bleeding somewhere and they could not figure out where she was losing the blood..on top of that she had to go through dialysis three times a week four hours at a time. Dialysis drained her immediately it made her sick every time she went through it.
They narrowed down the bleeding finally after about 8 weeks in this facility to her colon so they flushed it out and the bleeding seemed to stop.
they would not do any exploratory surgeries because of the fact that her insurance was running out of course.
At this time I thought it would be wise to have her make me the power of attorney because the doctors were not telling me anything they were keeping me out of the loop.
She has slight depression issues and I did not want her to be confused by making the wrong decisions the staff so I talked her into making me power of attorney for her and for her sake I am glad she did…
After I finally confronted the doctor that was under her care after all these surgeries because I wanted to find out where she was at this point from bleeding.
the doctor came in with a nurse and completely humiliated us made me feel like I was a piece of shit because of her insurance when all I wanted to know is where she was standing with a prognosis at this stage.
Just simple questions at this point like when do you expect her to go home or to the next facility next. Then all he did was basically told her in so many words it was her fault why she's the way she was and it was because of her insurance because nobody else could do anything else for her at this facility. how sad was that…
After another week-and-a-half arguing with the administrators because they wanted to ship her off to a physical rehab facility two and a half hours away. I told them you cannot put her in a facility two and a half hours away because it will put a stop her mental stability towards her healing.
without me giving her the mental support that she needs right now if you drive her two and a half hours away it would diminish her mental state towards her healing because she did not have anybody here for her but me...
I finally talked them into finding a place closer by here it was a physical rehab we will call this facility number two..
NOTE: I will not name any of these facilities to protect the guilty for now....
facility number two she did very well there it was a physical therapy place they treated her like gold there.
she was out of that place sooner than they expected she was supposed to be there for twenty days and they had her out of there in nine days because she did so well her spirits were high her will to live was high.
Facility number two she was there during the 2017 eclipse before that she was at the other facility number one for eight weeks.. as I said her spirits were strong and her will to live was very high. We had a future to look towards to we planned on getting married at this point and started the arrangements.
She got out of facility number two and we started doing a routine every day every other day taking her to dialysis getting her on a nice Reno diet because of her dialysis and a safe temporary place to stay near the hospital for a couple weeks till she goes home.
Three weeks after she got out of facility number 2 she got sick and went to the emergency room at facility number one. They gave her more antibiotics and sent her home.
2 days later she was still feeling sick and her stool was passing blood so I decided to take her back to the emergency room at facility number one myself I am still her power of attorney I thought it would be a good idea.
They said that her kidney infection got worse so they gave her some more antibiotics and 4 ccs of saline solution.
The nurse told me to ring her buzzer when the antibiotic was done which should only take about 5 minutes.
So I stepped outside to call people and let them know how she was doing 25 minutes have passed.
I went back to the emergency room where Jeanette was the antibiotic bag was empty in the saline solution bag was half empty.
I rang the nurse and told her that the antibiotic was done another 15 minutes have passed so by then 3/4 of the bag of saline solution was gone.
Jeanette kept telling me that she had to poop and that she wanted the nurse to help her.
By the time the nurse got back to the emergency room she already had Jeanette discharge papers waiting for her and she did not want to help her go to the bathroom so I stepped up and grab the wheelchair and took Jeanette to the bathroom myself while I was saying I will do your job for you and she kindly walked away.
I took Jeanette to the bathroom she went to the bathroom and she wanted the nurse to look at her stool because it had blood in it I can bear witness to it also.
The nurse said it was only because of her infection and she continued to discharge Jeannette anyway.
She went back home two hours later my friends had to call the ambulance because Jeannette could not get out of bed and she could not breathe.
They took her to facility number 3 from there.
By the time I got to the emergency room in facility number 3 the doctors told me what was wrong they said that she was diagnosed with c.diff which is a very contagious infection and that they had put too much saline solution into Jeannette which caused her to have a coronary and almost suffocated.
So not only did they misdiagnosed Jeannette in facility number one they also neglected her because they are the ones who started her on the dialysis with all the original surgeries from the start.
they should have known better than to put that much fluid into her body along with the unneeded antibiotic she should have been admitted to the hospital in facility number one in the first place.
Facility number 3 seems to be on top of the situation from the start when she was moved from the emergency room to ICU in facility number 3 she was having complications with internal bleeding again. She was having problems having transfusions on top of the internal bleeding on top of the dialysis that she was going through three times a week.
After about four weeks in ICU, they were giving her a transfusion and she started to deplete she started to hallucinate she started to get sick the alarms started going off in the ICU room. She started slipping into a sort of state that almost looked like she was having a stroke but she wasn't.
During this time I was trying to talk to her and figure out where her pain was coming from I tried to keep her awake and coherent, she could understand us but she could not speak it sounded like she had slowness from a stroke but it was not a stroke.
She almost got to the point to where we were figuring out where her pains were coming from which was her stomach and her right leg I then she flatlined. I stepped out and let the doctors do their work. I got her heart beating again but an oxygen mask on her because of the fluids in her lungs and I told the doctors there that it was the same problem that happened in facility number one.
So by this time, the doctors wanted to do some exploratory surgery because of the internal bleeding but we had to argue with the dialysis doctor because the dialysis doctor wanted her to go through dialysis first.
So I stepped in with my power of attorney rights and told the dialysis doctor that she has had nothing but problems with dialysis from the start while she has enough strength I want them to do the exploratory surgery and figure out where this bleeding was coming from.
So they immediately moved her to exploratory surgery the surgeon came out and told me that it was from her colon where the c diff infection had settled and the bleeding was coming from so they removed part of her colon and saved enough so that they can put it back on later and gave her a colostomy bag. I told you that it will be okay if we will get through this just as we have before.
Immediately I jumped in action and started helping more.
I learned how to change a colostomy bag I learned how to roll her over the proper ways in bed I learn how to help her out of bed I learn how to help her learn how to walk again to give her the will and the strength that she needed mentally.
I spent the night at the hospital a lot from that point actually I did it well before. I started at facility number one I part time moved into facility number 3 also.
I would go to work from the hospital and juggle my work around her dialysis days so that I would be there for her when she was done.
I would try to eat every meal possible with her and make sure that she ate also to keep her strength up.
After infection started clearing up they wanted to figure out where to bring her next for physical rehabilitation.
I wanted to take her home with a visiting nurse but they recommended me to take her to physical rehab place because they expected her to be back at the hospital if they sent her home with me so I took their advice and started looking two places they referred me to.
I read the reviews online and neither one of them looked good one place claimed to have head carpeting it in there smelled like mold while the other place had bed bugs at one time.
After inspecting these two facilities I chose one. we will call this next facility number 4.
After three days in facility number 4, Jeanette started complaining to me that they were not answering her buzzer they were not bringing her ice and they were not bringing her food before she went to the dialysis center. Jeannette needed to eat at least 2 or 3 hours before her dialysis so that she can digest it so she would not get sick.
So I complained about that and they straighten that out with her feeding her before she goes to her dialysis.
When she went through her dialysis she had to do it early in the morning because it would take an hour to drive an ambulance to the dialysis center then another four and a half hours at the dialysis center then another hour drive back to the facility.
a lot of times she would miss her dinner a lot of time she would miss her lunch so I would make sure I would get there to get it for her.
I could not understand why they did this when there was a dialysis center two blocks away from facility number 4.
The next day she called me and she told me that the nurse disrespected her they tried to help her up into the shower at the nurse was hurting her and clock watching her and being Huffy Puffy with her. I and yet another incident Jeanette texted me and told me that a nurse was hurrying her while she was trying to get out of bed and supposedly assist her with a shower
Need be reminded that Jeanette retained extra fluids from facility number one and she still has them in her body at that point so she had a hard time walking.
At this point, she called me while I was an hour and 45 minutes away working. She said that she needed ice and the nurses were ignoring her calls and would not change her colostomy bag.
So I decided to quit work that day and drive to the hospital first I called them and asked them if they would bring her ice and change her colostomy back note this an hour and 45 minutes away.
When I got there they still didn't give her ice or change her colostomy bag.
I was infuriated and went right to the administration. there were only two nurses there that really helped and cared.
I caught these people ignoring Jeanette buzzer before they knew who I was I would stand by the nurse's station text Jeannette on her cell phone to press her call button and I watched them just ignore it while Jeanette was pressing it and they ignored it for more than twenty minutes.
They would leave the outside doors unlocked all night long through the hours I knew because I stayed there patient's rooms were only 50 feet away from the outside door which was left unlocked all night long and many many occasions.
The Parking lot was dark the whole area was not lit up adequately enough for people safety there were no cameras on the grounds there is no security.
By then I confronted them about it and then I went back to Jeanette's room and discovered some medical supplies that were missing that facility number 3 gave us to go home with.
By the next day, I had Jeannette removed from that facility for neglect and abuse her stay there only lasted 6 days.
The next day we started her in facility number 5.
Facility number five seems to be a little bit better because they had more people working the patient administrator experience was different but they also full of me too by hiding things.
She immediately started having problems with her dialysis again because of the fistula in her arm. It was not adequate enough to get the blood flow through so she had to go through a procedure to make the fistula opening wider…a fistula is what they use for a dialysis patient to cleanse your blood...
Her stay there only lasted 7 days this was a facility for physical rehabilitation also and they were not getting her out of bed because the bed sores proved it.
She started retaining even more fluids on top of the fluid buildup from the last facility. she could not breathe because the fluids were retaining in her lungs again so they had to rush her to the emergency room on my demand.
I had the experience from her recent fluid build-ups. So they took her to the emergency room which was facility number two again.
At this point, they put her through extensive dialysis so that they can remove the excess fluids from her body.
The extracted 25 lb of fluids from her body cuz she retained from the last two and a half months prior to this…
Her stay this time only lasted 3 weeks.
She could not take any more she refused all medical treatment and refused her dialysis… as much as I tried and tried and begged and tried she just refused and wanted to go to sleep….
I think the doctors at this facility had something to do with her mental downfall pertaining to many conversations that the three of us had to each doctor that I had thrown out of the room..
Something happened while I wasn't there at that hospital something happened between conversations with Jeanette and that doctor or shall I say an intern who thought he was a doctor and the doctor that he worked under wasn't any better
in one week's time she gave up and that was not Jeanette she was a fighter. for now I cannot say anything to protect the guilty
My warning to anybody who has handed down a job for a caretaker or caregiver for somebody who's in the hospital to have somebody else there to while you are not at the hospital have a backup person because these doctors can really manipulate people
I exchanged wedding vows with her our honeymoon with her final moments at the hospital before she passed away because that was her wish
I watched her take her last breath after I sang her favorite song stand by me giving her a kiss and telling her it was okay to go to sleep and she took her last breath.
Jeanette and I were together for 4 years during our times that we had bad I still treated her like a wife when we were apart.. she had nobody in this area to help her and I decided to help her through all of this because I cared.
For 7 months I would go back and forth to the hospital every day sometimes stay there 3 or 4 days at a time.
For several months I would tend to her needs bathing her changing her colostomy learning how to do things to care for her when she went home.
For 7 months I juggled my work around her schedule around her dialysis around her doctor's appointments to speak to these doctors to explain things to this nurse, to learn something else from another doctor.
This was the time that I dedicated for this woman because I cared for it dearly when nobody else would I kept her spirits and will to live as long as I could but she just could not do it any longer because of her suffering.
I only beg and hope that others get the proper care and medical treatment they need before they go through something like this.
Jeannette was only receiving disability every month. she had no insurance and these extra expenses I paid out of my own account and it as drained it to zero.
please help me so that I finish her final wishes and expenses...
These are some pictures that are compiled for anybody to view.
Copy and paste the address if needed. She was a simple person
Jeannette was a very simple person. She would charish a ten dollor jacket.
She loved her photography she mainly loved waterfalls but she had to do things different here so she did nature. I showed her all the good hiding places.
We would just drive around in the car a lot and find these places to just kick back and we would enjoy each moment that we shared
she was my buddy my pal and i am going to miss her so much. She touched a part of me that no words can explain even when she argued with me I still could not stay away from her . We still always said goodnight and goodmorning to each other no matter what.
i wont be the same..
Jeannette had no life insurance and was on disability
These funds will be used for her final expenses as far as her urns and cremation for her son and I and any bills that need to be paid in her behalf plus her probate.
- Molla Donaldson
- Kris Chislett
- Lesley & Jim Symes
- Cindy Benvenuti Butler
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