JD needs help getting something off his chest!

Hi my name is Jaime Dean, and I am a Trans Man.

My goal is to raise enough money for my gender affirming top surgery. Explicitly, this means having my breasts removed (aka top surgery), so that I can feel comfortable in my own body.

My earliest memories of dysphoria come from when my breasts started to develop. I remember staring at them in a mirror and disliking them so much that I felt miserable about my appearance.

At that age, I absorbed a lot of messages about my body, and my gender.

-I believed it was normal for a woman to hate her body.

-I believed that if I dieted, exercised and lost weight I would eventually have a body I could be proud of.

-I believed that if I just wore the right clothes and underwear, I would feel better about myself.

-I believed that I had to lose weight in order to find and fit into the clothes and underwear that would make me feel good about my body.

-I wasn’t able to comprehend that the reason this body looked and felt so wrong to me was because, no matter how hard I tried to play at being one, I wasn't meant to be a woman.

In August 2021, after a year of exploring my gender identity, I was referred to the NHS Gender Identity Clinic. At that time they reported seeing patients for a first appointment who had been referred in October 2017.

As of my last check earlier this year, they were seeing patients for a first appointment who were referred in December 2018.

After three years of waiting, they have cleared one year of their wait list. I have escalated this to my local Integrated Care Board, but despite best intentions, I suspect nothing can or will be done about it.

Fast forwarding to now and I have been on Testosterone for the best part of 3 years. I have been fortunate enough that I have been able to afford a private prescription. The result of taking Testosterone is that I now have a beard, a deep voice.

I have collected and curated a wardrobe of clothes that make me feel happy and confident in myself - men’s clothes.

Even with my deep voice and facial hair, every day I have to contend with a body that doesn't feel like my own. My breasts still present a real and present danger to my health both physically and mentally.

Physically, they put me in danger of being identified by people who want to harm trans people. Additionally, in order to reduce their visibility I use compression garments. Due to the size of my breast tissue, these garments are uncomfortable and act as constant reminder to me that my breasts are present even if they help my appearance in public.

My breast tissue prevents me from doing activities that most who do not experience gender dysphoria take for granted.

In the summer months my compression garments often result in my overheating. Moreover, I cannot enjoy swimming or sunbathing because I have no way to comfortably cover my chest and avoid being stared at.

I have tried to be a patient patient, to wait for a miracle to occur, however waiting this long for what would consititute a life-giving surgery is proving to be almost too great a torture.

I would love to be able to fund this surgery by myself; however I am in need of help and so am turning to you, my friends, for support. After all as the saying goes: it takes a village.

I have set a goal of raising £4000.

Alongside my own contributions, around £3500 of the total raised will be used to directly fund the surgery.

Anything on top of this shall go towards only necessary travel and accommodation expenses before, and during recovery from, the operation.

Any monies raised above that which are not strictly necessary to achieve my surgery, I shall be donating to causes which help to fund other trans individuals’ gender affirming surgeries.

I suspect it will take time to raise this money but I am grateful for every penny donated.

In the meantime I shall continue to work on preparing myself for the surgery. This includes losing weight, and toning my upper body so that the surgery has the best chance of achieving its purpose of helping me to lead my life-worth-living.

Thank you for all your love and support.

For personal reasons I do ask the people do not share this publicly at this time. Thank you.