Brutal haircut my dude. 

As many of you have heard, Jason has been diagnosed with cancer in his kidneys. Today he's having surgery to remove a tumour from his right kidney. The surgery is basically a kidney haircut. The surgeon is cutting off the top part. And probably using a hydraulic jack to lift up his liver. I don't know. I'm not that kind of doctor. 

Following his surgery, Jason is expecting to be able to go back to work within 4-6 weeks. After he's had part of his kidney cut off. 

My reaction:



But whatever, we're all used to Jason's aggressive optimism. 


Wait, I just came here because someone shared the link. Who's this guy? Why are you taking the piss at him? Especially if he has cancer, that doesn't seem very nice....

Sit back and let me tell you about a story about a young boy who dreams were dashed....because he was an absolute shithead who made poor life decisions. I met Jason working in prisons almost two decades ago (god we're old). Jason was convicted of a violent crime at age 16, sentenced to 75 years in prison, and served over 20.  The penalty on his crime was extended given that it happened in the mid-1980s during the Satanic Panic and small town prosecutors are freaked out by heavy metal. 

Despite that less than stellar start, Jason has grown into a flourishing human bean. He enrolled and spent his time while incarcerated taking every education class he could. Upon release, he finished his Associate's degree, and has worked for the last 8 years as a garbage man, one of the unsung heros of public health. He wrote about his experience as a garbage man https://rootstalk-archive.grinnell.edu/sites/default/files/2017-02/Darrah_GarbageMan.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">here.  He regularly volunteers his time talking about his experience in prison, how education can be a force for good, and volunteering to be a mentor to other guys who have recently gotten out. He's obsessed with superhero movies (each new one is the "best movie ever"), art, and caring for his cat Rosie. 

So is Jason the salt of the earth? Hardly...he's like probably, at best, a Super Saver brand meat rub. Has he made really poor life decisions? Yep.  Is he still worth supporting? Abso-fucking-lutely. Jason's a great person.  He works impossibly long hours in a job that is extremely physically demanding, literally cleaning up after the rest of us. I'm hoping we can help him actually take some time off and fully heal, which is not a thing he's known for doing. 


4 Weeks  Does Seem Aggresively Optimistic.... 

Just in case there's even a *minor* calculation error in this timeline, I wanted to put together a fundraiser. Our goal is 6 months of rent for Jason, plus the costs associated with using the GFM platform (calculated at 100 donations * 30 cents a pop plus the 2.9% user fee).  

Any additional money will probably be used to buy terrible food that he shouldn't be eating after surgery or to offset medical costs (but probably the first one, let's be honest). 


Does he know about this? 

Look. I tried. Kinda. 



But he wouldn't agree to my terms so here we are.  I launched this very strategically on the day he was going into surgery so that he can't shut it down.  The only person the money can release to is him.  


What's in it for me? 

Smug satisfaction that you're helping that dopey sunofabitch and like, if we reach our goal, I'll send people postcards from Australia. They'll probably have kangaroos on them.