Jason's Getting Top Surgery!

Hi, my name's Jason and I'm a transmasc guy who is fundraising to pay for FTM top surgery.

My surgeon will be Dr. Hope Cherie of Charlotte, NC, who has consistently had excellent results in the field of body masculinization for over 20 years. Like many gender-affirming medical facilities, hers is not covered by insurance, which means that I will be paying out of pocket for the surgery.

The total cost for the surgery, post-op appointments, facility fees, and surgical supplies for recovery is $12,500. The surgery I'll be undergoing is a double incision with a chest lift and nipple graft, which is the procedure that was recommended to me during my surgical consultation as the best one for the results that I'm seeking. I am fortunate to live within a reasonable driving distance of Charlotte, which means I will not be incurring travel expenses, and I have managed to save and scrape enough to be able to pay approximately half of the surgery costs immediately. I have been working very hard at my job to keep chipping away at the overall cost, but it's become clear to me that if I continue the way that I'm going, it could be a very long time before I'm able to cover the entire bill. While my transition is still ongoing, top surgery has from the beginning been the symbolic "major milestone" of my journey, and it's the hurdle that has plagued me for my entire life, even before I realized that I was trans. Waiting this long has already taken a toll on my mental health, and I want nothing more than to finally put this demon to rest once and for all.

So, I'm swallowing my pride and asking for help.

I began binding about three years ago, and while the visual results of doing so have consistently left me with a feeling of finally being "right", the discomfort and difficulty breathing that I often have has made it very difficult to wear a binder. I've had many times where I've nearly passed out at work and had to immediately remove my binder, leaving me able to breathe but at the cost of struggling with the dysphoria for the rest of the day. And the pervasive feeling of not being "good enough" at being transmasc to power through and keep my binder on. My constant anxiety around not being able to breathe properly (an anxiety that was only made worse during the COVID pandemic) makes it so that choosing to wear my binder means choosing either to not be able to breathe properly, or not be able to focus on anything except what my chest looks like. And as my transition continues, it will reach a point where I'll have to bind any time I go out in public or risk harassment, threats, and possibly assault. I do not live in a "trans-friendly" location, and survival makes stealth a necessity when I'm out in public.

I'm so tired of having to choose between the physical pain of binding and the emotional pain of dysphoria. I'm so tired of backaches, skin irritation, dizziness, and black spots in my vision when I bind. I'm so tired of only wearing shirts 2-3 sizes too big to hide my chest and still feeling like it's all anyone sees when they look at me. I want to be able to get out of the shower every morning and not force myself to look away from the giant immovable mirror that hangs on the other side of my bathroom. I want to go to the gym and not have to devote half my mental energy to ignoring the uncomfortable "bounce" when I run or do jumping exercises. Hell, I want to be able to go to the beach with my girlfriend and go topless and get sunburned on my whole torso instead of just my arms and the back of my neck!

I want to feel like a normal guy. I've spent so long forcing myself to lie and be miserable, and I'm ready to close this chapter in my life once and for all. I got plenty in my life to worry about, I can't keep devoting so much of my mental energy to ignoring the two lumps on my chest that have tormented me since puberty. I'm ready to finally put this drain on my mental health down and focus my energies on advancing in my job, practicing the hobbies that I enjoy, and making myself the happiest and healthiest version of Jason that I can be.

If you've made it this far, then I really appreciate you. Any donation, no matter how big or small, is something I will be eternally grateful for. Honestly, even just sharing this campaign would mean the world to me. Thank you so much for your time!