Help With Beating My Illness

Hello there, 

Apologies in advance for any bad grammar and spelling but once you read this you will understand why. It has been pointed out to me there are mistakes but right now it is hard to concentrate, take anything in and see properly.  

Prior to 2017 i was working with maroon 5 , multi platinum producers and songwriters from London, Stockholm, NYC and LA.  

It took working in every free moment I had from age 9 to get these opportunities. 
I did not go out as a child/teen, instead i worked super hard on making music and youtube music videos.  
In the month of January 2017 I was set to go back to London and then LA and Nashville. London to finish a song with a producer, Nashville (2 weeks) to work with a songwriting team that included members who wrote "living on a prayer", then L.A. to do a showcase of the best songs infront of major label A&Rs..... 

While in london on the first day the room started to spin, i felt so sick and tired but assumed it was due to lack of sleep. 

The producer i was working kept having to repeat himself but i couldn't understand half of what he was saying so would just have to nod my head and hope for the best. 

We went to the shops for food and I could not take anything in and everything seamed to be written in a language I didn't understand, it was blurring together and flashy brightly, hurting my eyes.  

I managed to get home by checking with everyone that i was in the right place and on the right train etc.  
The next day i woke unable to breathe through my nose, freezing , couldnt eat.  

Whilst being physically ill i went went blind in one eye and half blind in the other...i felt extreme pressure in my eyes and in the top of my skull. 

Anyways, back then i was just still clinging to the hope it would pass...but i woke uo the next day still 75% blind.    

So my mum took me to the doctors (which i rrally ddint want to do because it was hard to move so I had to walk so slow with all my strength) I was shivering (wearing four thick layers) able to walk and they said i was dangerously hot, and would die if I stayed there so imediately got put on a drip and then rushed to hospital. 

In hospital i lost the ability to walk, could barely talk, eat, couldnt use the bathroom, my ears felt on fire at any noise, my spine had a searing pain, my eyes hurt even more at the slightest light, my head ached, loss of smell, I couldnt sit up, i lost 10kg in a week (and that was 10kg off the weight i already lost from a week before going to hospital and barely eating) and the doctors couldnt find out what was causing it.   

They saved my life though even still.  

They told me i will have life long problems especially in the first two years afterwards and unfortunately right now I have chronic urticaria and angeiodema which is where you itch like mad and nothing stops it because your body is making you itch for no reason as if you're hacing an allergic reaction. It is impossible to work....which has resulted in me having to give up countless oppurtunities and I lost every opppurtunity that was planned for 2017 .   

Some days all i can do is just lie still wait for it to pass (even if that is until I tale pills to knock me out ) and try not to cry or be angry or tense because that releases hormones that make it worse .  It is torture basically. 

Ive had it 5months and it doesnt appear to be going soon. After multiple tests and treatment for possible spinal TB,   they concluded that my illness was viral meningitis and an attack of a  rare auto immune disease called neuro myelitis optica. 

So as a last resort, I have started this page to help raise money to complete the Music Production Uni course that I have had to defer to next year. I deferred hoping to go busking and gigging this year to raise money for it but I cant currently due  to the illness.but i am hoping that the illness will be cured by the time thr course starts next year.
I can't go busking because I cant concentrate on anything for more than 2 minutes without giving in the irritation. Ive been told that I could make a living from my productions (from a major label praised producer)) withe small improvement to it which the course would help with!!
Also it will go towards the medications I'm taking and the treatment I will need.
So i really hope you will give something to help me acheive this goal without letting illnesses completelly destroy my life. I still have blurry eyes, can't remember stuff, or think anywhere near as fast as i used to and they will get far more blurry as I get tireder.
I still have hyperacusis which in my case is where i hear everything louder than everyone else and loud noises without me wearing custom earplugs even if its just a loud 1second noise will leave my ears in pain for three days but i am determined not to let this stop me from doing music!!!

I havent left the house other than for doctors appointments for five months.
This has taken a huge toll on me physically and mentally and I would have never asked for money but have been urged to by other fans and friends. I have given my music and services for free for years and now I hope that I can get something back to make it all workout.  

Once again sorry for grammar mistakes , it's hard to focus. 

Thanks, James  

EDIT - I forgot to mention that I've also lost so much memory from before I got ill. So I'm always looking for litttle bits and pieces that will bring it back as it doesn't feel like i should 20 because I'm missing so much of it. I mean that the amount of time and moments i can remember really dont add up to much of an age at all. 

It would be great to receive any pictures of me from the past that may bring some time back and fill in the gaps.
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James Bell 
Hanley, ENG

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