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Jakes' Top Surgery

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Hi, my name is Jake, and I've been openly trans since I was 11. I'm 18 now, and a student. I've been trying to generate money to pay for my top surgery and testosterone, but I'm having little to no joy. With the NHS on the decline, the average waiting time to even be seen by a doctor for even identifying as trans is 6-7 years at the moment. The average waiting time it 8-12 years.

I have received no help, medical or mental when being trans. Having being bullied for almost half my life for being trans and or "different". From simply wearing boys clothes to being friends with boys.

It took a lot of courage to even create a go fund me. I'm a very proud person, and don't like taking anything from others. But in recent months, I've been seriously cutting down my spending. Keeping most of what I have for surgery but it isn't enough. In this modern day crisis, I struggle with even going out for a simple day with friends. Or even feeding my animals. When I realised that I couldn't save for top surgery anymore so I could feed my animals, I was devastated, however I kept myself happy. Knowing that my pets were warm and well fed.

If I got surgery, let's hypothetically say I got it tomorrow. What would that do for me? Well first off I'd be a very happy camper. Whilst actually being happy with myself. I'd be able to stand up straight and not slouch over in some jumper to hide my chest. I would be misgendered less. Meaning that I'd feel more comfortable. I'd be happier in the work place. If I got my surgery, it would genuinely be life changing, for me, for my friends, for my family. Me getting top surgery doesn't stop there, from that point, I will always help other trans people in need, because I know what it's like to be in their shoes. May that be someone who came out an hour ago, or years before I was born. I don't care. I will help them.

We're all born at the end of the day. We're all alive, why shouldn't I get the chance to be happy? Why can't others get the chance to be happy? An entire half of my family doesn't speak to me because I'm trans, and the half that does speak to me are either ignorant or having trouble understanding. I'm just thankful for my Mum, she's a star. I love her.

By getting top surgery I'd probably be giving her head peace from all my whinging I do about it so, there's always that.

I can't even go to the beach, I can't even go into my preferred bathroom. I'm socially degraded because of who I am, and what I am. I would never prevent someone from being happy, I've always stood up for others and not myself. Today, I guess I just woke up and decided I wanted to be happy and do something for myself.

To all the trans folk, to all my ladies, gents, bents and- pick n' mixes. I implore you, to take the first step forward, ask for help. Do what you have to do, to be happy.

Thank you,

Jake :)
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