On the 3rd of May 2019, at the age of just 24, my beautiful Jade, the love of my life & mother to my daughter, ended her own life after bravely battling depression for many years.
She often felt so lost in this world, which wasn't always kind to her, and found life so difficult at times. But even with all this she managed to pour so much love out of her and onto everyone around her. I know I've never felt anything like the love she gave me, and I can't imagine I'll ever experience anything like it again. Jade adored people but sadly, didn't always get as much love in return as to what she gave, but that never stopped her going out of her way to make others happy.
For as long as I've known Jade (7 years), she talked and dreamt of visiting Australia, she had been drawn to this part of the world for as long as she could remember. Being from the north of Scotland the better weather was definitely a contributing factor! Jade craved the sunshine, almost as much as she craved adventure.
We spent a lot of time planning our future, which we hoped to spend living in Australia eventually, and she couldn't have worked harder, trying to do everything in her power, to make sure this would become our reality.
We have a 6 year old daughter together (Nahla) and Jade felt growing up in Australia would give her a life full of outdoor adventure and experiences she wouldn't necessarily have in the UK.
Jade was actually due to go to Australia in September, and it really tears me apart that she was only a few months away from going when she decided she'd had enough of this life. It feels like we were so close to everything - I am soon due to be working for myself after studying for years (which she bent over backwards for in order to support me through, and even moved to N. Ireland for me to do so - even though she'd never even set foot in the place!). I feel like our life was just beginning, like we were coming to the end of working so hard in jobs that didn't really fulfil us and still just getting by, and having to make sacrifices in all sorts of ways. I'm truly devastated she won't be with us for any of the life that we had planned.
All I wanted to do was to make Jade happy, I wanted to make her dreams come true - because she deserved it all. She brought so much to my life and I wanted so badly to give her everything she had ever dreamed of, so with the help of a very generous friend, I am planning on visiting Australia, with Nahla, next year (March/April 2020) to find somewhere to scatter some of Jade's ashes. It may not be the way either one of us expected her to be spending the rest of her life but it's all I can really do for her now. And I have to do this for her.
I don't have a target for raising money, I will be eternally grateful for any money donated, anything would be a huge help in getting us over there and funding our stay while I try to find the perfect, final resting place for my beautiful soul-mate.