stop domestic violence.

My Story!

Thank you for taking time to read my story…

Firstly, i need to thank my nan, my family and my friends as without them i wouldn’t be able to share my story. They are a huge part of my progress and i am eternally grateful for them all. I also wanted to single my mum out because without her i wouldn’t be the person i am today, she has been strong for the both of us since i was young and she has shown me everyday that your past does not define who you are.

On the 17th January 2013 my mum and I took the hardest decision of our lives to leave an abusive household.

The reality now of looking back and seeing what a dangerous life we lived, mentally and physically, still traumatises me.

It wasn't just by my mums boyfriend but his children aswell, his kids would bully me and my mum would get assaulted for trying to stop them. I was pushed down the stairs by his son and his daughters would frequently pick on me. This I've come to see is learnt behaviour.

My mum suffered most and on a daily basis, she sustained many many injuries from him, some causing her to have to go to hospital. I knew that if it was happening in front of me then it was happening when I wasn't there aswell so I quickly developed separation anxiety. I never wanted to leave my mums side, which consequently resulted in my schoolwork and attendance deterioring. This happened behind closed doors for 2 and a half years, my mum feared for our lives but I knew one day she would save us.

So On the 17th January 2013 I was picked up from school by the police and was taken to a safe place, my mum had done it.

Unbeknown to me my mum had started a written diary of everything she went through, even the solicitor when reading it said that she was lucky to be alive. Even though it was hard for my mum to write this diary, it was the help we needed for us escape for good and not look back.

The story never ended there! 

We won an injunction to keep him away from us but that didn't stop him from stalking us, she couldn't breathe with him following her every move and I used to run into school crying after being followed by him. Even after he got a suspended sentence for breaching his injunction he carried on, so the only choice we had was to flea our home town. A year later in january 2014 we moved area and to this day he still doesn't know our whereabouts.

Starting again.

We had the help from many agencies and organisations but that will never get rid of the mental and emotional abuse suffered during that ordeal.

Domestic violence is very real. To this day I’m still not sure why it happened, but i remember it like it was yesterday. I was a helpless innocent child. We both escaped with our lives and we both have our own story to tell. And now almost 10 years later we are definitely survivors and not victims.

I am studying sociology, this has reopened my trauma on domestic abuse and has made me realise how much I suffer with ptsd from that life i lived. My mum has suffered with it for nearly 10 years. We both struggle around violence and we both struggle with our self confidence but I've watched my mum continuously face her fears which has given me the strength to do the same, this also is learnt behaviour. I'm so proud of us both for what we've achieved in the last 10 years and even though I wish it never happened it has brought us closer and we're the tightest bond that no-one can now break.

My Story I'm sharing is to spread awareness about domestic abuse. Not many people knew our story and only a few lived it with us and even though speaking out is hard and makes us vulnerable i want to help families get safe and stay safe.

So me and my three best friends will be doing a skydive in April 2023 to mark our 10 years of freedom and to raise money for the charity “women’s aid” which is a charity that’s aim is to end domestic violence and abuse against women and children! 

I would really appreciate it if everyone could share our story and please please donate as much or as little as you can.

You may save a life!

This charity deserves it!