The saying “first come love, then comes marriage” was apparently Kelly’s motto when she saw me for the first time. We were 12 years old, she was surrounded by her Ramona Girls Softball tournament teammates and “literally staring at the cutest boy in the world”. She had no idea what my name was, but went home telling her mom she found her husband. (True story) Needless to say, it took me a few extra years to realize she should be my wife. Exactly six years after I asked her to be my girlfriend, she said “I do” in becoming my wife!
By that time, we lived in Vegas, she was working two jobs, going to school full time and it was my second full year of minor league baseball. She wanted babies right away, told me she wanted the third line of her long ago motto but that baby carriage never came. I didn’t panic the first year because we were young. I always believed finding the partner was the hard part and having a baby was just a choice. Every month without a positive test became increasingly frustrating. After the first year passed, she knew something was wrong. She has always had the worst monthly experiences. She was allowed to miss school some days in high school because she would have the worst migraines, throw up at least once and spend hours screaming in pain and all I could do was watch. We always thought the pain would just be a few days a month, not every day for years.
Fast forward to the very end of 2015. For our anniversary, I took Kelly to see Dr. Samuel Wood at Reproductive Science Medical Center in San Diego. Blood was drawn, ultrasound done and a lot of talking occurred. She was unofficially diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) by the end of the appointment and officially diagnosed after the blood results. I have had to watch as she continues losing most her hair, had painful periods BUT we had a chance. Kelly cried and considered it the best present when Dr. Wood told us we should be parents in 2016. Dr. Wood wanted us to try IUIs and those were complete and utter failures. Her shots costs anywhere from 400 to 900 dollars depending on the doses and insurance covers NONE. So not only did Kelly have to give herself daily injections, but we spent thousands each round to do so.

Our last failure was in September; two and a half years of trying. We were devastated, but Kelly even more so. In order to understand how crushed she was you must understand what it takes to have an IUI. It’s not just just the daily needles. It’s the extreme nausea, cramping, hot flashes, fatigue, hope and utter despair that really sticks with you. It’s counting the days until transfer, “knowing” you are pregnant and online shopping followed by severe depression when you just as strongly “know” you are not. Her mood swings were so bad I never knew what to do. All of that sucks but the worst was the negative pregnancy results. Before then, all Kelly could think about was how many more days until she could take the test. She has read so many fertility forums that she began telling me BabyDust16 was able to get a BFP (big fat positive) only 7dpo (7 days after ovulation) but reminding herself that Somedaymom didn’t get it until 14dpo. P.S. when you’ve been trying to concieve for as long as we have, you understand the previous sentence without the parenthesis. But the big day came. Kelly woke up at 4 in the morning and asked if it was too early, if she should hold it until 6 to get an accurate reading but decided against it. During the wait, Kelly thought about how she would tell me. What it would feel like to see my reaction? Yet, reality hit and we got another one pink line (failed). I hate to think about how much we’ve wasted on home pregnancy tests. I watched as she cried in the bathroom a few hours then decided to log on Facebook and Instagram for a distraction…. Wait, another person was pregnant, another baby bump update and as much as I wanted to be excited and happy for everyone I couldn’t. I couldn’t understand what we had done wrong. Why was everyone else getting what we wanted so easily. WHY WAS THIS SO HARD? Every month Kelly finds out she isn't pregnant is the worst day of my life. Not only because we aren't expecting a child but because I have to watch her die a little inside. No words can express how awful and helpless I feel when she looks up after crying and ask if she’ll ever be a mom. How do I tell her there might not be a chance she’ll ever experience what her sisters got to, that being Aunt Kelly and my wife might be her only titles in life when she's rocking herself to sleep?
So here it is. Our treatment will be around $18,000 as long as she reacts well to the treatment of IVF. If the medicine produces too many eggs and her ovaries over stimulate it will cost around $22,000 due to the extra month of treatment. I know you all work hard for your money so this is hard for us to ask. If you have even a single dollar you feel comfortable giving, we appreciate it. We really wish we didn’t have to ask for help but having a baby is more important than our pride. I have debated off and on whether I wanted to do this. If I wanted to ask for help and be my weakest for strangers and friends. The truth is Kelly and I would do absolutely anything for a chance for her to be pregnant. We would and have given most of our savings just for a chance to have a child with my blue eyes and her love of books or a child with her awful eyes and my bad teeth. We aren’t praying for a perfect baby, we are just praying for our baby.
Kelly said on Facebook recently that the only difference she has with other moms is their child’s travel was free. We are asking for you to help us pay for our baby’s travel fee from our hearts to our arms.

You will never know how grateful we are,

Alex and Kelly Muren