Its hard to ask for help. But I need help.

I'll start by saying I have zero access to these funds. It is linked to my sister Stephanie who has been a huge help in getting me through life, always. I promise these funds are purely for my recovery and nothing else. Thank you for even reading this and any support is greatly appreciated.

So....

I'm heading out east to go live in a sober living environment and get the help I need. I've been on the streets of Portland the last 3 years living a life I wouldn't like to ever relive. I struggled with addiction my whole life and over the last decade meth was my drug of choice and it has ruined my life countless times now. This last run was the scariest of all as my mental stability was like nothing I've ever been through. That's what happens when you don't sleep for 3 years and you feel like everyone is setting you up. I was in a city where I knew no one. It was just me and my dog vs the city of Portland. So I thought. Really it was me vs my own head. I left Portland after 4 years there exactly how I showed up. I got off the train with my dog, a skateboard, and a backpack. I left with 8 days sober and called my family once I was back in the bay and told them I was home. I didn't want to upset anyone and tell them I was headed home and not make it. My family who had only heard from me a handful of times over the last few years was there to pick me up. Between a few friends and my family they got me out into a spot where I could get some more clean time under my belt and get more long term solution planned out. Well I have a bed waiting for me in Philadelphia at Brandon Novaks sober living house. Where I have to attend meetings 5 times a week, get and work with a sponsor, aquire work, and show progression in my recovery before I can move into the next house that he provides for people in need. I am asking for donations to help me get there and my weekly fee for bed space. If I reach this amount I would have my ticket out there and almost 2 months covered.

I am trying to prevent yet another relapse. I know its hard to put any trust into someone who has only proved how good at failure I am. But if skateboarding has taught me anything it is to get back up and keep trying till you get it, till you stick that sh*t fu**ing bolts and ride away clean. Honestly im done. So done, done with a life of having to steal every meal, to figure out a hustle to get what I need on a daily. I'm tired. Tired of a life with no progress. I want to do better and be a better influence to my niece and nephews that barely know who there uncle is. I don't want them to hear stories of me, I want to be apart of the memories.

I'm 28 days sober and pleading for the help it would take to get started in the right direction.

"I have heard, that if you pull a bent breath

Through the second hole of a harmonica

Tuned to the key of Georgia

While a train moves by on the tail end of dusk

There is a good chance you will finally know what it means to rest

I have not yet rested" Buddy Wakefield