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Hello and thank you for taking the time to read this and possibly help out or share. This is quite long so we really appreciate your time.
My name is Sarah and I'm creating this fundraiser to help with my older sister Melissa's medical treatment. I'm 24 and live in West Covina, California, she is 28 and lives in Covina, California.
Before I get into her backstory, I have to talk about what a beautiful, kind, smart, and overall amazing person Melissa is. She meets everyone with kindness and an open heart, is always the first to extend help to anyone who needs it, and has carried herself through some extremely hard times with strength and resilience. She's my sister, but also my best friend; we've been blessed to have a close positive relationship our whole lives. She's always been my protector, always spoken up for me, and has always been a safe haven for me to run to with anything I was going through.
Sadly, my sister has gone through a lot. From ages 9 to 18, she experienced various sexually abusive encounters by an older family member; the trauma from these experiences has caused much of her problems to date.
Melissa is an extremely smart and hardworking individual and was attending USC and working a job at Costco at age 18, but ended up losing the job and dropping out of school because of the stress of what she had been going through.
At age 19 she disclosed the abuse she had been going through to family members she felt she could trust and started her journey towards healing, by attending therapy, seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication. She had to try many different medications to find ones that worked for her, which ended up being a mood stabilizer, an anti-depressant, and an anti-psychotic. While she was originally diagnosed as bipolar, as of 2019, she has officially been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which I will talk about in more detail near the end of this.
Unfortunately, Melissa continued to struggle with thoughts of self harm, which she acted upon, and close to her 21st birthday, she had to attend inpatient treatment to help her cope with that.
Due to her struggles, it hasn't been easy for Melissa to hold a steady job, but her love for learning always prevailed. Slowly, she worked her way from Citrus College to Caly Poly Pomona, had several setbacks, but eventually graduated in 2015. During this time, Melissa consistently attended therapy once a week or once every other week and while she had many ups and downs, she kept on doing her best.
A happy time of life came at age 24 when she married her husband, Jorge, in April of 2016, had a beautiful wedding ceremony in June, and then moved out into their first apartment. There was a period of relatively good times as she didn't have as many life stressors but she still wasn't thriving or using her full potential.
In April of 2019, our great grandmother passed away and this was the beginning of an especially dark time for Melissa. Not many people are blessed enough to know their great grandparents but we were, and Melissa had formed a close relationship with our great grandma, despite their age difference. Her death shook all of us greatly and led to an increase of negative symptoms and anxiety in Melissa.
In May of 2019, she switched psychiatrists and was put on different medications that seemed to help, but she still struggled heavily with self harm and impulsivity. These struggles led to many troubling incidents such as Melissa impulsively driving far away without telling anyone where she was going or where she currently was, buying razors to harm herself with and hiding them, as well as hiding her cuts. All of these things and more scared us terribly.
One night in August of 2019, I was feeling particularly worried about her, and was thinking about how I was terrified that one night I may find out that she had tried to kill herself. The following night, I had driven up to my house and saw my mom taking off quickly in her car, which was odd because she rarely leaves that late at night. I got a text from her shortly after that Melissa had attempted suicide by overdosing on pills. It was the scariest and most emotional night of my life. Even as I write this now and think back on it, my eyes fill with tears.
Thankfully the overdose was not successful and didn't create any lasting physical damage, but this was the beginning of another tough journey. After she was discharged from the hospital, she was automatically taken to an inpatient mental hospital for 7 days.
After she was discharged, she began a new type of therapy called EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), which is meant to help patients safely revisit past trauma and learn to process it and cope with it in a new, healthier way. She also attended an IOP (intensive outpatient program) for a couple weeks before she was told that her insurance would no longer cover it.
She returned to regular outpatient therapy as well as EMDR therapy and her main therapist who began seeing her 3 times a week, to compensate for her not being able to attend an IOP.
Unfortunately, her symptoms began to get worse again and she began to self harm again, along with alcohol binges and purging after eating. Her therapists recommended she try another IOP, so she began to attend Loma Linda IOP but was only able to go for one week before dropping out because she was no longer able to afford it.
This leads us to now. Melissa has found a new IOP that seems to be a better fit (the past programs she attended were not very helpful and even had her and the other patients coloring and doing crosswords throughout the day, rather than focusing on actual therapy). This program focuses on DBT which stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy and is the type of therapy known to help people with Borderline Personality Disorder the best. However, it will cost about $12,000. It's an unfortunate reality that many insurances do not cover much, especially when it comes to mental illness treatments. Her insurance has said they will cover $1,000 of the cost and she is receiving some help from other sources, but the majority of the cost is still on her shoulders.
To talk a little more about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): it is a serious mental illness that unfortunately has no known cure, and is not managed very well by medication. People who have it have difficulty controlling their emotions which can cause them to take unnecessary risks, have intense mood swings, and have bouts of anger, depression, and anxiety. When a person has BPD, they are very likely to also struggle with anxiety, depression, eating disorders, drug and alcohol problems, and thoughts of suicide. People with BPD rely mostly on therapy to help them cope and progress, which is why it is so important for Melissa to attend a program that is the right fit for her.
That being said, we are looking for any help we can get, and appreciate anything you can give. If you can't give, we would really appreciate if you could share this amongst your friends, family, and followers.
If you'd like to check out the website of the program she would be attending, it is https://www.dbtcenteroc.com/
The program would include
-10 hours a week of group and individual therapy for 8 weeks
-Classes on mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness
-A team of therapists and psychiatrists that will develop an individualized treatment plan and closely monitor her progress
Again, we thank you for taking the time to read this, for donating, and for sharing. We are in a time where the negative stigma around mental illness is lessening, but still present. It's hard to deal with mental illness, and even harder to talk openly about it and ask for help. My family and I are so proud of Melissa for coming as far as she has and for being open about her battles, and we just want to see her make even more progress towards healing and living a happier safer life.
My name is Sarah and I'm creating this fundraiser to help with my older sister Melissa's medical treatment. I'm 24 and live in West Covina, California, she is 28 and lives in Covina, California.
Before I get into her backstory, I have to talk about what a beautiful, kind, smart, and overall amazing person Melissa is. She meets everyone with kindness and an open heart, is always the first to extend help to anyone who needs it, and has carried herself through some extremely hard times with strength and resilience. She's my sister, but also my best friend; we've been blessed to have a close positive relationship our whole lives. She's always been my protector, always spoken up for me, and has always been a safe haven for me to run to with anything I was going through.
Sadly, my sister has gone through a lot. From ages 9 to 18, she experienced various sexually abusive encounters by an older family member; the trauma from these experiences has caused much of her problems to date.
Melissa is an extremely smart and hardworking individual and was attending USC and working a job at Costco at age 18, but ended up losing the job and dropping out of school because of the stress of what she had been going through.
At age 19 she disclosed the abuse she had been going through to family members she felt she could trust and started her journey towards healing, by attending therapy, seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication. She had to try many different medications to find ones that worked for her, which ended up being a mood stabilizer, an anti-depressant, and an anti-psychotic. While she was originally diagnosed as bipolar, as of 2019, she has officially been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which I will talk about in more detail near the end of this.
Unfortunately, Melissa continued to struggle with thoughts of self harm, which she acted upon, and close to her 21st birthday, she had to attend inpatient treatment to help her cope with that.
Due to her struggles, it hasn't been easy for Melissa to hold a steady job, but her love for learning always prevailed. Slowly, she worked her way from Citrus College to Caly Poly Pomona, had several setbacks, but eventually graduated in 2015. During this time, Melissa consistently attended therapy once a week or once every other week and while she had many ups and downs, she kept on doing her best.
A happy time of life came at age 24 when she married her husband, Jorge, in April of 2016, had a beautiful wedding ceremony in June, and then moved out into their first apartment. There was a period of relatively good times as she didn't have as many life stressors but she still wasn't thriving or using her full potential.
In April of 2019, our great grandmother passed away and this was the beginning of an especially dark time for Melissa. Not many people are blessed enough to know their great grandparents but we were, and Melissa had formed a close relationship with our great grandma, despite their age difference. Her death shook all of us greatly and led to an increase of negative symptoms and anxiety in Melissa.
In May of 2019, she switched psychiatrists and was put on different medications that seemed to help, but she still struggled heavily with self harm and impulsivity. These struggles led to many troubling incidents such as Melissa impulsively driving far away without telling anyone where she was going or where she currently was, buying razors to harm herself with and hiding them, as well as hiding her cuts. All of these things and more scared us terribly.
One night in August of 2019, I was feeling particularly worried about her, and was thinking about how I was terrified that one night I may find out that she had tried to kill herself. The following night, I had driven up to my house and saw my mom taking off quickly in her car, which was odd because she rarely leaves that late at night. I got a text from her shortly after that Melissa had attempted suicide by overdosing on pills. It was the scariest and most emotional night of my life. Even as I write this now and think back on it, my eyes fill with tears.
Thankfully the overdose was not successful and didn't create any lasting physical damage, but this was the beginning of another tough journey. After she was discharged from the hospital, she was automatically taken to an inpatient mental hospital for 7 days.
After she was discharged, she began a new type of therapy called EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), which is meant to help patients safely revisit past trauma and learn to process it and cope with it in a new, healthier way. She also attended an IOP (intensive outpatient program) for a couple weeks before she was told that her insurance would no longer cover it.
She returned to regular outpatient therapy as well as EMDR therapy and her main therapist who began seeing her 3 times a week, to compensate for her not being able to attend an IOP.
Unfortunately, her symptoms began to get worse again and she began to self harm again, along with alcohol binges and purging after eating. Her therapists recommended she try another IOP, so she began to attend Loma Linda IOP but was only able to go for one week before dropping out because she was no longer able to afford it.
This leads us to now. Melissa has found a new IOP that seems to be a better fit (the past programs she attended were not very helpful and even had her and the other patients coloring and doing crosswords throughout the day, rather than focusing on actual therapy). This program focuses on DBT which stands for Dialectical Behavior Therapy and is the type of therapy known to help people with Borderline Personality Disorder the best. However, it will cost about $12,000. It's an unfortunate reality that many insurances do not cover much, especially when it comes to mental illness treatments. Her insurance has said they will cover $1,000 of the cost and she is receiving some help from other sources, but the majority of the cost is still on her shoulders.
To talk a little more about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): it is a serious mental illness that unfortunately has no known cure, and is not managed very well by medication. People who have it have difficulty controlling their emotions which can cause them to take unnecessary risks, have intense mood swings, and have bouts of anger, depression, and anxiety. When a person has BPD, they are very likely to also struggle with anxiety, depression, eating disorders, drug and alcohol problems, and thoughts of suicide. People with BPD rely mostly on therapy to help them cope and progress, which is why it is so important for Melissa to attend a program that is the right fit for her.
That being said, we are looking for any help we can get, and appreciate anything you can give. If you can't give, we would really appreciate if you could share this amongst your friends, family, and followers.
If you'd like to check out the website of the program she would be attending, it is https://www.dbtcenteroc.com/
The program would include
-10 hours a week of group and individual therapy for 8 weeks
-Classes on mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness
-A team of therapists and psychiatrists that will develop an individualized treatment plan and closely monitor her progress
Again, we thank you for taking the time to read this, for donating, and for sharing. We are in a time where the negative stigma around mental illness is lessening, but still present. It's hard to deal with mental illness, and even harder to talk openly about it and ask for help. My family and I are so proud of Melissa for coming as far as she has and for being open about her battles, and we just want to see her make even more progress towards healing and living a happier safer life.
Organizer and beneficiary
Melissa Villagrana
Beneficiary