Help Intersex Man w/ Top Surgery

Hello All,

It pains me to ask for help. Before this campaign, I have never asked ANYONE not even my family for a dollar. I am very independent, and I am an advocate for the intersex and trans communities.

I was born with an intersex body that is partially immune to testosterone and with ambiguous genitals.

At the time, doctors were wanting to make me “normal” so that I wouldn’t have a gender crisis when i grew up. But, the biggest problem at that time was the hole in my heart. So they fixed my heart and let my genitals be, and instructed my mom to raise me as a girl.

For some reason when I was five years old, someone called the CPS to complain that my mom was raising a little boy as a girl. The CPS stepped in and with a court order and told my mother to agree to them performing “normalization” surgeries or to lose custody of me.

My mom, with barely a grade school educatio, had no resources to combat this CPS demand, just complied.

So the “normalization” surgeries for me included having the extraction of my testes, and since my clitoris/penis was less than 1 inch; they chopped it off; and made me a vaginal hood.  They forced me to take estrogen pills at the age of 12. 

Think about it for a moment. Forget my name, and place; think of the situation. A happy five year old is told that their body is a freak of nature that needs to be fixed. My question is, how were they able without my consent to decide who I would be? Did they have a right to make that decision for me?

I had numerous urinary tract infections, and whether it relates to my mutilated genitals; dating for me is too fxcking hard and scary for me to trust anyone.

My hope is that one day that the standard medical care for intersex kids/babies with ambiguous genitals is just to leave us alone; and let us have sovereignty over our own body.

Those that know me well, know that I have always suffered from depression. I’ve had talk therapy for years and even take a prescription to help keep the depression at bay.

You see, it’s very easy for me to be cynical and just say fxck it. What kind of person would want to live without fitting this “ideal family template” that society dictates for us? I can’t father kids, I don’t have my original equipment; and before I engage in any kind of sex; I always give the intersex body disclaimer.

In the beginning it was so humiliating for me to come out to potential sex partners. I did get better at being ok with myself; but some past relationships even though trivial; have jaded me.

But thankfully I’m blessed to have a supportive family; a wide circle of mindful and compassionate friends that come to my rescue.

So, about two and half years ago, I made the decision to live an authentic life. At first it was a bumpy road but as time passed with my weekly shots of testosterone, life become much more ok for me; and I felt more at ease.

I try my best to fight for those that are marginalized, especially those in the intersex community.

I am a Co-Founder of THIS (The Houston Intersex Society). We have educated: med students, colleges students, attorneys, parents, teachers, doctors, and even judges.

I was nominated this past summer by Mayor Turner to his LGBTQ Advisory Board to help create progressive  and much needed initiatives for Our Community in Houston.

You see, I don’t want anyone to go through the torture I had to endure with the mutilation of my genitals and the suppression of my true nature. If an intersex kid wants to have a non binary gender, then by all means they should. Their genitals should be left alone, and they should be the only ones giving consent to any kind of cosmetic genital surgery.

I found an American support group for AIS people. At first it was great to find others that I could relate to being intersex, but their kind of intersex conditions were different from mine. I felt male identified in a group that was predominately the “Betty Crocker” crowd.

So, I left that email group, and created a secret FaceBook group for intersex men, women, and gender non binary folks; and our non-affected allies. Also, it was not restricted to just one intersex condition; it’s a group open to all.

So, families could get support for their intersex kids from intersex adults.

It is my opinion that that secret FB group was the catalyst for change for the Intersex Movement in America and even to an extent at a global level.

I’ve met so many friends through the AIS support group and even in the secret group that they are people that I will be friends with for life.  You see, that AIS group evolved and became inclusive of people like me. 

So, I’m hoping to get your financial and emotional support with getting my estrogen induced breasts removed. I didn’t ask to be a woman. I wasn’t asked at age five if I wanted to be girl. They had no right to decide on my identity.

I got a quote from Dr. Dulin; in Plano and it’s gonna be about $6,750 for the top surgery.

But, since I still have a heart murmur; I need to buy extra healing time. Some of the funds will be for trip support and for help from a friend to help me from after surgery and after care.

I need to find a friend to help me with this endeavor!

The rest of the money I am using as a buffer for not working to help pay the bills; and to help knock down my credit card debt. I'm hoping for a fast recovery to get back to work after surgery. 

I have finally come to a point in my life where I am becoming more mindful with my finances.

Listen, my mom did not graduate with a degree of finance from Harvard. She as a child, with her brothers and sisters used to work in the fields in Colorado and Texas as kids to help support the family. My father passed away from AIDs in 2002; his life was cut short.

I’m not asking for a hand-out; just a hand-up.

Much Love,

Mo Cortez